


Nowhere Is Safe

by liddell_alien



Series: Love Crimes [2]
Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Coven, Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alice in Wonderland References, Alternate Universe, Blood and Gore, Crossover, Drug Use, F/F, Lesbian Sex, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Porn With Plot, Smut, Suicide Attempt, This is My Design, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 19:08:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5016808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liddell_alien/pseuds/liddell_alien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Sequel to: A Safe Place]<br/>Hannibal and Will are looking for Bedelia, but she has no intention to be found.<br/>Alice's adventures become darker and more dangerous; she decides to come back to the academy with a new friend, only to find an unpleasant surprise.<br/>Cordelia is dealing with a new threat to the Coven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Advice from a Caterpillar

Neon lights were flashing in her face, she was standing outside a pub – her back against the wall. It was late at night, it was cold and she wasn’t wearing many clothes; a short tight leather skirt and a black tank top, without a bra underneath. Her hair was styled in two pigtails; she was also wearing make up – and that was the only thing that was bothering her, because she hated the fact that she couldn’t touch her face.

Music was pounding in the air, even if she was outside. One foot was on the ground, the other was against the wall, hitting it rhythmically.

She didn’t go by the name of Alice anymore, even if she still referred to herself as that name – she used ‘Dinah’ because it was safer that way. It wasn’t her real name, but she wasn’t comfortable using that one.

A young boy approached her, he was very tall and very thin – his cheeks were hollow and he had dark circles under his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was sore. “I’m late for a very important date”.

She had heard that code too many times that night, but she still had a few pills with her. She took out a transparent plastic bag, with a bunch of red pills inside. “What time is it?” she asked.

“Three o’clock,” the boy answered, looking nervously around him whilst taking a puff on a cigarette.

As Alice took three red pills out of the bag, the boy quickly handed her a bunch of cash, before grabbing his drugs and leaving without looking back. Alice counted the money and decided that it was enough for that night.

*

When she entered her apartment, the smell of dirty clothes and stale air welcomed her. She put the bag of pills on the counter along with her keys and headed towards the living room.

Alice could hear another person breathing but she couldn’t see anybody else in the room. She looked on the sofa, beneath it and then she decided to look behind it.

A man – approximately of her age – was lying flat on the floor. He had spiky blue hair, his eyes were red and he was smoking from a hookah. When he realised he wasn’t alone anymore, he glared at Alice with a confused look on his face. He took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. “Who are you?”

Alice sighed, as she rested her arms on the back of the sofa and reached for the hose. “I hardly know,” she replied, as he helped her take a puff from the hookah. Who was she indeed? She had no idea anymore, and she felt more lost with every passing day.

“Dinah?” the man asked, confused. He pushed himself on his elbows, placing the hookah beside him. “How did it go?” how many questions did he want to ask her?

Alice smiled, happily noticing that the man was starting to coming down from the high – at least he remembered who she was. “Good,” she said, “very good. I’ve sold almost the whole thing”.

He slumped back, disappointed. “ _Almost_ is the same thing as _nothing_ ” he said. “We have to sell the whole thing, otherwise it’s completely useless”.

“Well,” Alice said, leaving the sofa and lying down beside the man, “maybe if _you_ came with me, instead of staying here… _we_ could have sold out”.

The man shook his head vigorously. “Not a chance. I do the magic, you do the rest. You’re the one with a pretty face and boobs. I’ve got the brain”.

“I once knew a man who produced his drugs and sold them on his own. It was strong stuff… the Hatter was addicted to it, you know?” Alice started to play with the end of her pigtails, as she remembered the past.

The man beside her shifted onto his side, “Nothing’s better than my alice” he said.

It was curious, thought Alice, that with all the names in the world, Blue had chosen that particular name for his creation. He didn’t even know that ‘Alice’ was her name too. “The Hatter used to call him Mr. Hyde – I don’t know why, he was such a nice guy. Small and elegant, his drugs were amazing – can’t quite recall the name, it’s all a blur now” she said, ignoring the guy’s statement.

Blue was a good man, he split his money with her. He made the drugs and she sold them; he was right… she had a pretty face, she could sell a lot of those red pills in just one night.

His stuff was good too, actually – but she wasn’t very sure it was completely safe. He was talented, but he was also high for the majority of the time.

“Wait here, I have something for you…” Blue jumped to his feet, and disappeared into another room. Alice was left alone with the hookah and she took advantage of her time with it.

When the boy reappeared into the living room, he was holding a little plastic bag with something tiny inside.

Alice smiled wide, as she got up and joined Blue on the sofa. He was taking out a bunch of little white mushrooms. “You’re not supposed to spend the money! We’re saving for our trip!” Alice scolded him, but secretly she was glad of his purchase. She was starting to get very bored.

“It’s a present,” he said, extending his arms palms up, holding a mushroom in each hand, “one will make you grow taller, and the other will make you grow shorter”.

Alice smiled, picking up the mushroom from his left hand. “I wouldn’t mind being a few inches taller” she joked, putting the mushroom into her mouth and he did the same with the one she didn’t choose.

*

Alice was woken up by a loud noise; she opened her eyes, scared and sat up on the sofa where she had fallen asleep.

It took her a while to understand what was happening; Blue was panicking, he was running around the apartment, desperately looking for something.

“What’s going on?” asked Alice with a sleepy voice, “What are you doing?”

The man looked hyperactive, he was sweating and his eyes were wide. “I screwed up” he blurted out, taking out a bag of red pills outside a backpack. “I’m fucked, they’re going to kill me”.

Alice stood up, and followed him into the bathroom, where he emptied the plastic bag down the toilet and flushed it. “What have you done?” she asked again, a little more worried this time.

Blue kicked the sink with rage and hurt himself. “Shit!” he whined in his teeth, grabbing his head and pulling at his hair. “I’ve received a text from a guy I know… his girlfriend died. She OD’d with my alice and now he’s gonna kill me”.

“Why would he warn you before coming to kill you?”

“Are you shitting me, Dinah? That’s the only thing you care about?”

“Sorry… it’s just that it’s not that smart” said Alice, leaving the bathroom. “What are you going to do?” she was way calmer than she was supposed to be, but by now, Blue was used to the fact that she was an unusual woman.

“I’m leaving… you should come too, I don’t want him to hurt you” Blue started panicking again.

 _He’s cute._ The Rabbit’s voice ringed into Alice’s brain. _I would love to cut him in half, but he’s nice to worry about you._

 _You think we should help him?_ Asked Alice.

 _Let’s kill him!_ Shouted the Hare. _Let’s put him out of his misery!_

Alice rolled her eyes, “Look… if it really is such a big deal, you can come with me. I wasn’t planning on leaving this soon, but if we can’t sell your drugs, it’s not fun anymore”.

“In America?” Blue’s eyes sparkled at the thought. “But I have my things here, I have a friend where I can stay for a while”.

_Keep him, Alice. He’s fun._

She heard a voice whispering in her ear – it was the Cat’s voice. She was always inside her cage, but sometimes she could still hear her.

“If this guy really wants to hurt you, then what stops him from hurting your friends too? Come with me, I can assure you you will make great deals with your stuff in America”.

It was in his plans trying to make his alice become something big – she knew he wanted to do it, he was just too scared to leave and now it seemed like the perfect time to do so.

“Okay, fine. Let’s do it, but we have to hurr—” he couldn’t finish the sentence, because someone knocked furiously on the door. “Fuck… he’s gonna kill both of us!” Blue’s voice was nothing more than a whisper, but he sounded terrified.

“That’s okay, just lock yourself inside your room” said Alice, “I’ll deal with him”.

“Are you fucking crazy?” another furious knock on the door.

“Just do as I said” Alice’s tone was firm and harsh, Blue couldn’t object to anything.

When she heard the sound of the lock, Alice went inside the kitchen, she then opened a drawer and took out two big knives. “Rabbit?” she called in a small voice, “A little help?”.

 _Oh! Oh! Oooooh! Kniiiiiiiives! Lemme do it!_ The Hare whined. _Come oooon! Alice! Alice, let meeeeeee do it!_

“Fine…” she said to herself, as she donned a white apron, making sure her clothes were covered.

It was a matter of seconds, she closed her eyes and she just relaxed. She started to listen to the voices in her head – she focused on the Hare, she called for him, she reached for him. And the deed was done, she wasn’t Alice now, she was the March Hare.

*

It was such a great feeling, being in control of one – no! Two hands… two hands, two knives, that was just perfect!

He heard a knock on the door and then a loud thud. As he hid the knives in the front pocket, the Hare left the kitchen to enter the living room/hall, and to his great surprise, he found out that the door was on the floor and two big men were standing in the doorframe. “Who are you?” he asked in Alice’s sweet voice.

“We’re looking for Blue, where is he?” they had such a silly accent – like the one that the obnoxious Rabbit had.

“Not here,” Alice shrugged, “he left ten minutes ago, but if you want, you can play with me…”

The two of them looked pretty surprised by the invitation, and they shared a suspicious look.

“He left some of his candy here,” the Hare gestured the few pills that Alice didn’t sell. “We could eat them. I love candy” he sat comfortably on the sofa, patting the space to his side with both hands. “Come on, I’m so bored… let’s have some fun!”

“The son of a bitch is probably gone anyways,” one of them said and the Hare nodded with a wide smile. “Josh’s gonna be pissed, might as well enjoy our time before he knows we lost him”.

The other man didn’t look so convinced, but the first one didn’t care. They looked every much alike, but he had a big tattoo on his left arm, it was a snake with its mouth open – the other one, the Hare decided to refer him as Tweedledee, was bald.

They were big and muscular, both of them seemed to be pretty strong.

As the tattooed guy – Tweedledum – approached the Hare, he let the guy sit beside him before straddling him. The Hare grinned, looking into the other’s dilated pupils, he put a hand on his neck, feeling the pulse – strong and rhythmical. The vein was pumping, hot, sticky, red… he loved the colour.

The bald guy – Tweedledee – knelt beside them, placing both hands on a wooden small table, using it as a leverage to reach forward and kiss Alice’s neck. The Hare stretched out a hand on his chest and pushed him away. “Wait, it’s going to be your turn soon”.

As Tweedledum laughed his friend off, the Hare turned his head to him and with a quick move, he took out both knives, crossed his wrists and cut a deep X into the guy’s throat.

As hot blood spurted immediately onto Alice’s body, the other guy tried to get up – but the Hare was quicker and he nailed his hand to the table, stabbing it with one knife.

The other guy kept gushing blood from the wound, and the Hare felt happier than he did in months. He loved that feeling – why on earth does something that feels so good be so wrong? Who had decided so?

Ignoring Tweedledee’s cries for help, the Hare stood up – and the tattooed guy’s body fell limp onto the sofa.

“I’m going to have even more fun with you” he said, but a voice inside his head stopped him. It was the damn Rabbit. _There’s no time. Finish him off, or I will and it won’t be pleasant for you._

“You are obsessed with time,” the Hare whined, but he did as he was told and he cut the guy’s throat quickly, letting him bleed to his death on the wooden table.

_Now, back off!_

*

Once Alice was Alice again, she felt a shiver running through her spine – she had no memory of what had happened, but she looked at the time and she realised she was away for less than five minutes. It was incredible, the things that the Hare was capable of.

She heard a door opening, and Blue’s voice cursing. “What the fuck have you done?”

Alice took off the bloodstained apron, and used it to clean her face and hands; she was trying to be calm but she was actually enjoying the feeling of killing again – or at least of letting the Hare out. “I have saved both of our lives, you’re welcome” she hurried to her room, and started packing. She heard Blue joining her, but he didn’t enter the room. “We’re leaving. No one will know where we are, don’t worry” she turned to him and smiled.

He was pale, greenish almost – on the point of fainting. “How can I? You’ve just killed two people and now we’re leaving? I— where are we going? What are we going to do? God, we are so fucked” he covered his face with his hands, breathing hard.

Alice sighed, starting to pack again. “I told you not to worry!” she tried to assure him with a kind voice, “I know a safe place”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be from Cordelia's POV.  
> I hope you liked this first chapter, let me know!  
> x Lily


	2. The garden of live flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New arrivals at the Coven.

The intense sweet smell of flowers was hanging in the air, so intense it was almost nauseating. Cordelia Foxx was, as usual, making potions in her greenhouse.

Misty Day was slowly swinging to the sound of her favourite Fleetwood Mac song, the ghost was feeling extremely happy these days. It was easy to tell, since the academy was invaded by thousands of blooming flowers.

The Supreme, on the contrary, was in a terrible mood; as she poured a brownish liquid into a transparent vial, Cordelia sighed, swiping the sweat from her forehead. Her new experiment was doing great, that wasn’t the problem. “Misty, could you please stop? You’re distracting—” before she could finish, the liquid inside the vial started to boil and in a matter of seconds, it was overflowing. Cordelia cursed under her breath, looking for something to clean up the mess.

The ghost stopped spinning around, and she offered Cordelia her help.  “I’m sorry. It’s just that I _love_ this song so much!” she smiled and the Supreme couldn’t help but smile in return.

“I know,” said Cordelia, trying to understand the reason why her experiment blew up, “but I need to concentrate”.

Putting all her energies into her work was the only thing she could do now. Her sister had left three months ago leaving just a note, and she had no idea where she was – since then, from the moment she woke up, to the moment she fell asleep, the uncomfortable sensation of helplessness was her companion.

The sudden presence of another person took her by surprise and the already ruined vial escaped from her grip, shattering to the ground. It wasn’t her lucky day, Cordelia thought, turning her head towards the other ghost of the Coven, Spalding.

Once their handyman, he was now forever tied to the house – he suitably never showed up before the Supreme cast away Madison Montgomery’s negative presence from the place, but after she’d been bound to hell, Spalding reappeared, and he was now helping Kyle with the care of the house.

“The Council has returned,” he announced, then disappeared again.

Cordelia cleaned her hands with the same cloth she used on the counter and left Misty alone, and headed towards the white house.

Zoe, Queenie and a little girl were waiting for her in the Ancestor Room; Cordelia smiled at the child. “Welcome back girls,” she sat on the sofa, gesturing the child to do the same.

The little girl silently climbed onto the armchair in front of the sofa, swinging her feet nervously when they couldn’t reach the ground. Queenie and Zoe took their place at each side of the armchair, remaining upright, with their hands joined behind their backs.

“I’m Cordelia Foxx, headmistress of the academy,” she smiled kindly, sensing the shyness in the child, “what’s your name?”

When the child didn’t reply, Zoe cleared her throat. “She doesn’t want to tell us” she said, and then turned her head to Queenie.

Queenie shrugged. “When we arrived they basically threw her at us, and shut the door”.

Cordelia wasn’t surprised at all. It wasn’t uncommon for that kind of behaviour. People were still very afraid of witches, especially when the individual was so young. Half of her little girls had been rejected by their families and now the academy was their new home.

“Don’t worry,” she said, leaning forward and giving the child’s hands a friendly squeeze, “you’re home now. I’m sure you’ll make a lot of friends here and when you feel like telling us your name, you’ll do it” she then addressed to Zoe. “Will you escort her to her new room please? And introduce her to the others?”

Zoe nodded and she smiled at the child, stretching out her hand for her. The little girl took it and jumped off the armchair, following Zoe out of the room.

Once Queenie and Cordelia were left alone in the room, the Supreme sighed tiredly. “I’ll file her as a Jane Doe for now, but we need to find out her name and see if she has a family”.

They received a call from a homeless shelter earlier that morning, the little girl had been staying there for more than a week, she appeared from nowhere and she seemed to be no one. When they realised she was special, they immediately gave the academy a call and Zoe and Queenie left as soon as they could to go and get her.

Her ability was quite peculiar, she was able to see ghosts – even when they didn’t want to be seen. She could sense their auras; it was a particular psychic ability, Cordelia thought that with a bit of exercise, the child could easily learn to read minds and even perform mind control; luckily, she was young enough to work with. Those girls were her flowers, and she would make them bloom.

“I’d like to find her parents just to kick them in the ass” Queenie blurted out, angrily. “How could you abandon someone like her? She was terrified when we arrived”.

“Was she alone?”

“No, a guy was with her… he told us she was starting to scare people and then he left”.

“No one knew her name?”

Queenie shook her head, “They said she knocked on their door last Tuesday and she has spoken very little. She hardly talked to us on the way back here”.

Cordelia thanked Queenie and then walked her to the door; she had a lot of work to do. She started to fill out a document with the girl’s information that she already had.

She seemed to be around ten, her skin was pale, her hair very dark and her eyes were different colours – one was icy blue and the other was dark brown. They reminded her of the time she was cured by Myrtle…

Cordelia realised she would need a picture to see if the child was missing.

* * *

Zoe was walking down the corridor holding the little girl’s hand in her own; the other children were upstairs, so they started to climb the stairs slowly. “You’re very quiet, aren’t you?” Zoe joked, smiling at the child.

She nodded, but then she returned the smile. “I like your hair,” she said and Zoe smiled wider.

“Your hair is beautiful too. Do you like cats?” she asked, and when the child nodded, she added. “We’ve got lots. Seriously, I’ve lost count”.

“Do you have a fluffy grey one? I had a grey fluffy one back home” she said casually, but Zoe had the feeling she was about to get some useful information.

“There’s a fluffy black one, and an ugly hairless one – but she’s hella sweet, I have to give her that,” she joked, looking down at her. “What was your cat’s name?”

“Mr. Pickles, but he’s dead” she said, looking calm.

Grey dead cat, Mr. Pickles… she didn’t know if Cordelia could use that, but it was better than nothing. “I’m sorry…”

“That’s okay, he was very old” she seemed pretty smart for a child. Zoe wondered if she had ran away from home. She didn’t seem very keen on the idea of going back…

The doorbell rang but she didn’t even notice, when the child stopped, she put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, someone else’s going get it”.

They reached the little girl’s new room and Zoe introduced her to her new roommates, Edith and Lorina. The first was presumably a little younger than the little girl, the latter was a little older for sure, since she was already thirteen.

Lorina was the eldest among the children, next year she will join the other girls – becoming the youngest among the other witches.

“Lorina, Edith this is…” Zoe stopped, having no idea what to say, they needed a way to address the child – “Jane…” she eyed the girl with a cautious look in her eyes and she pursed her lips in response. “Why don’t you show her how things work here?” she asked, walking to the door. “If you need me, I’m with Cordelia” and she closed the door behind her.

* * *

That place scared her, it was too big and too bright. She was used to small and dark places. She didn’t like where she was now, but the people seemed nice.

“So, what do you do?” Lorina asked her, sitting on her bed and looking at her with curiosity.

She looked around, finding her own bed and climbing onto it. “I can see ghosts” she answered, starting to study the room.

It had a big window, and a bunkbed – Lorina was sitting on the lower bed, so she supposed Edith was sleeping on the upper one.

“Everyone can see ghosts” said Edith with a tiny voice. She had ginger hair and a lot of freckles, she reminded her of another girl she once knew.

“I can see them even when they are hiding. I can see them with my right eye” she said and pointed at her icy blue eye.

Edith got closer and she took a closer look at her face, staring at her eyes – she felt uncomfortable, until Lorina grabbed Edith by her shoulder and pulled her back. “Don’t creep her out. You have to forgive her, she has no idea what ‘personal space’ means. By the way, you’d better lock your stuff up”.

“I don’t have anything…” she said, lowering her voice and her head.

An awkward silence followed, until Edith’s childish voice ringed in the room. “Alice is here!” she shrieked and Lorina joined her at the window, with a gasp and a smile.

“It’s gonna be fun,” she said, gesturing the child to come by the window with them. She did as she was told, and she took a peek outside.

A girl and a boy with blue hair were walking towards the house, escorted by a guy dressed in black and white. “Who’s Alice?” she asked, confused.

“She’s a maid, but she is funny… not like the others” said Edith with a smile.

“She left four months ago, but she promised she would come back…” Lorina added, turning her back to the window and looking directly into the child’s eyes. “Weird stuff happens when she is around. Even weirder than usual. Half a year ago, a ghost started to kill people off, including girls from the Coven. They tried to tell us it was all fine, but we’re not stupid…”

A shiver ran through her spine, at those words. She knew what ghosts were capable of, and she didn’t like it. She knew some ghosts were bad and some were good, and she usually was able to tell if a ghost was going to hurt her or not.

“Are there a lot of ghosts hiding around here?” Edith asked, leaving the window and sitting on Lorina’s bed.

The child took her time to answer that question, but when she realised she was safe there, she nodded. “More than in any other place I’ve ever been”. 

* * *

In the distance, classical music is playing; the notes fill the air in the long and dark corridor. The music grows louder and louder as one approaches the door at the end of the corridor, which is slightly ajar. Behind the door, there is a spacious living room.

The sun is still up in the sky, but the light in the room is dim. The windows are closed, the curtains shut – Bach's Aria of the Goldberg variations resounds just perfectly in this atmosphere.

Two men are in the room – Dr. Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham are both busy carrying out different tasks.

The first is sitting behind a big, old desk; drawing with black charcoal on white paper, the yellow light of a desk-lamp is shining upon his work, projecting the man’s shadow on the wall behind him.

The latter is sitting cross-legged on the floor, even if there are plenty of armchairs in the room, and even a big, comfortable couch right next to him. He is working on a laptop placed on his knees – the white/blue light coming from the screen is reflecting on the man’s glasses, giving him a sinister eye-less look.

“Have you found anything on the second name on the prescription, Will?” Dr. Hannibal Lecter asked as soon as the music stopped – he didn’t want to interrupt it before its ending.

Will Graham took his glasses off, rubbing his closed lids forcefully, then he put them back on. He looked very tired. “Six years ago an Alice Carmichael had been abducted from the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health R. J. Johnson, in New York – she’s never been found, the surveillance records showed a man entering the place, killing eight in the process, including the girl’s psychiatrist and leaving with her”.

Several minutes of silence followed, Will’s eyes indulged on Hannibal for some seconds – then he returned to his work. The same instant, Hannibal’s eyes rose from his drawing – his face showed no emotion. “Why was the girl in a psychiatric institute?” he asked, cleaning his hands from the dark charcoal with a white cloth.

Will’s eyes went up and down, reading quickly through the lines of the website page. “She was diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder, delusions, severe depression and suicidal behaviour. It would explain the antipsychotics Bedelia prescribed her…”

“Sounds just like Bedelia’s type” Hannibal commented in a casual tone, returning his attentions to his work. He stared at the white paper with a critical look; when he spoke again, he did it without raising his gaze. “Any other news on the girl, lately?”

Will gave another quick look on the website page, then he shook his head, giving up on his research. “No, nothing new after her kidnapping. Her foster father committed suicide two days later, jumping out of a window and… his wife is now living in Chicago” he stopped reading, taking his glasses off for good. “Maybe the girl found out where her mother was staying and she went to her”.

“Maybe…” Hannibal repeated, but he was too focused on his drawing to pay attention.

Will continued, “Since Bedelia is nowhere to be found, and this girl seems to be worth the risk of coming out of hiding, if we can reach her, she will know where her psychiatrist is”.

Hannibal finished his drawing and put the charcoal down, he inhaled – happy with his work. “Yes, you can leave for Chicago as soon as you want”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have decided to add Will&Hanni to the story sooner than I expected. I hope you liked my rappresentation.  
> I have the majority of the plot in mind now, and it's dark and full of terror-- sorry, wrong show.


	3. The pool of tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice has to deal with new emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're not familiar with Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, you probably haven't noticed that the names of the chapters I'm using are the same that Carroll used for his books.  
> I just wanted to point that out because I think it's a funny thing to know. XD

“So… your real name is Alice,” of all the long speeches Alice had given, the thing that captured Blue’s attention was that particular piece of information. “And why are we here again? Are you a witch?”

They were patiently waiting for Cordelia in the Ancestry Room, after their journey they were both pretty exhausted, but Alice was eager to see the Supreme and Bedelia again. “No, I’m just a maid here… but it’s safe. You can ask Cordelia to get a job, the garden needs maintenance… just don’t tell her you’re a drug dealer. She reads minds but just don’t tell her – and don’t use her greenhouse to do your drugs, find another place, okay?” she really didn’t want to have problems with Cordelia, she was a nice woman and she knew she wouldn’t be happy to have any kind of pills around her children.

Blue raised his hands in defence, and nodded. “Okay, okay… I’ll keep a low profile, I promise” he said, then frowned. “Who’s Cordelia?”

“I am” a voice came from nowhere, and they both turned their heads towards the now open door. The Supreme Witch was as beautiful as always, in her dark, fancy clothes and her impeccable hair. She smiled to her guests, but Alice immediately noticed that something was wrong with her smile.

“Where is she?” asked Alice, getting up from the chair she was sitting on – she’d had a bad feeling during the whole journey; she wasn’t sure what it was and she really hoped that Cordelia would laugh her off, telling her that Bedelia was fine.

But Cordelia lowered her gaze, joining her hands in her lap. “I don’t know, she left three months ago, with a note. I’m sure she is fine”.

“Of course she is,” said Alice, with anger in her voice, “she’s a survivor” and she was really pissed at her in that precise moment. She was supposed to stay, Alice felt incredibly betrayed.

As she marched across the room, Alice walked pass Cordelia and left, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

The room trembled, the portraits on the wall hanged dangerously askew. “I’m— Blue, nice to meet you” the boy offered Cordelia his hand and she took it kindly.

“Nice to meet you to. Are you a friend of Alice?” she asked.

Blue looked quite lost, “Ah— yes. Yes, Alice. I’m her friend. She told me you could use a hand taking care of the yard?”

Cordelia didn’t reply immediately, there was something about the boy that wasn’t right, she could sense it, but she couldn’t say what it was. He was Alice’s friend, and she wasn’t the most normal person on the planet, so maybe even her friends were a bit unusual. “Sure, two more hands are always appreciated. Besides, this place has become a shelter for lost souls,” she laughed, but it was the truth, and she knew it… “You have any kind of experience?”

“I’m good with weeds” he replied with a smile.

“Okay then, I’ll introduce you to the others and then I’ll show you your room”.

* * *

Alice had experienced a wide range of emotions during her life; and even though the majority of her teenage years had been locked away in her own mind, she did live through some ‘common’ life experiences. She had been betrayed by a friend, she had her first date in high school, she kissed her first boyfriend when she was seventeen – but she never really cared about them.

A broken heart was something she had never experienced before; she didn’t even knew something like that was possible. The feeling of being small, abandoned, meaningless.

Was it okay to feel those emotions? Was it okay for her to feel like that? She had promised to come back, but the only reason she did that was because she had _someone_ to come back to.

Alice never really cared about the places, she cared about the people. It wasn’t her house that made her feel at home, during her childhood – it was her family.

And now she was there, at the academy – and she wasn’t alone, but she felt like it. Bedelia lied to her, and maybe she did that on purpose. Maybe she didn’t care about her at all. Why on earth would she leave? To go where? Alice had asked her to come with her and she said no. Maybe she had a better place to go rather than England, maybe she wanted to go alone, maybe she thought that Alice was too mad, too spoiled, too – everything! Maybe she was just tired of her, God – Alice _was_ tired of herself.

Why would she care? Alice thought to herself; why would she care if Bedelia was or was not fond of her?

It wasn’t her intention, but she ended up being in her old room, the attic, where everything began – or, rather, where everything restarted.

After the Rabbit killed the Hatter, she didn’t know what actually happened, but as a self-defence mechanism, her mind locked away her personalities. Alice suspected it was the White Queen, she had the power of making everyone retire into a small, invisible cage. Alice had been in that cage and it wasn’t pleasant, but it was safe and sometimes she needed to feel safe.

For a year, she had no hallucinations and no voices in her head, telling her what to do. She thought it was over. She thought she was free… and then she decided to go to the Coven, she decided to go and see what witches were like, and she was supposed to know that curiosity often leads to trouble, but she didn’t care…

She saw the talking doll for the first time in that attic – she saw the doll destroying all the other porcelain dolls, and now the attic was invaded by porcelain shards and pieces of old dolls. No one stepped foot in there after what had happened, it was useless attempting to clean up.

She really liked the place, actually. It was quiet and small, it seemed safe enough.

Her old bed was covered in dust and broken toys, the table once nice and set was now rusty and dirty. The teacups and teapot were still in place, two or three cups were broken or chipped, but some of them remained intact.

“What are you doing in my room?” a voice came from behind her, and Alice thought it was an hallucination, but when she realised it was a ghost, she smiled kindly.

“I’m sorry, sir… this was once _my_ room, several months ago. I didn’t want to intrude on your space” Alice said with a trace of sadness in her voice.

“ _Sir_ ,” the ghost replied in a sarcastic tone, “this place is a mess, every time I try to clean up, it returns this way”.

“Then maybe you should stop trying” said Alice. “Maybe this place wants to be a mess”.

The ghost – dressed like a butler, and having long greasy hair – shrugged, and picked up a doll from the ground.

The doll was missing an arm and part of the face. Her once perfect and rosy cheeks were now irremediably cracked. She seemed to be happy that way, though; she was still smiling, and her eyes were still shining.

The butler started to caress her hair fondly, then he sat her at the table, and took his place next to her.

“May I join you, sir?” asked Alice, wanting desperately be part of that picture.

The butler looked up, then turned to the doll, asked her something into her ear – whispering so that Alice could not listen, then turned his head towards her and nodded with a solemn face.

Alice sat in front of the butler, and lifted a chipped cup. “It’s been years since my last tea party” she remembered sadly. “I miss them so much”.

The ghost poured air into his cup and the one in front of the doll, then he did the same with Alice. “We do this every day” he said.

Alice was very jealous; she lifted her empty and broken teacup to her lips and tasted dust. “I used to do it every day too” sighed Alice, looking for a plate to place her cup on. “With my Hatter and my friends”.

“Where are they now?” asked the ghost, in a very serious tone. He lifted the cup in front of the doll and brought it to her lips, since she couldn’t do it by herself.

Alice looked down, a sad feeling filled her chest, clenching her heart. “They’re all dead” she replied with a small voice.

“I am dead, and yet I’m here” he casually replied, cleaning the corner of the doll’s mouth with a dirty cloth.

It was a thought that had never occurred to Alice. What if the Hatter was a ghost now? Was it possible? She didn’t become a ghost when she died…

“How do you become a ghost, sir? How come someone does and others don’t?” she asked, curiously.

“I had some unfinished business” he replied, pouring some more air into his cup. “Do you want some more?” he asked her.

Alice nodded, lifting her cup and extending her arms to him. “Yes, please” she said.

Why did she stay dead? Maybe she didn’t have any unfinished business… that was weird, she had plenty of those, like—

Well, she had to find Bedelia now, and three months ago she had to find out her real name and her story, but she didn’t know at the time she had died… maybe she’d be better off staying dead…

It was true, curiosity did kill the Cat, eventually; but she came back and now she had more problems than she had before. And she couldn’t jut die now, because she was _definitely_ going to become a ghost and she didn’t want to…

“I’m sorry, sir” said Alice, standing up, “but I really have to go now. It’s been a pleasure meeting you”.

Alice wanted to go and apologise to Blue and Cordelia, for having left so suddenly and so rudely.

She left the attic, and headed towards the stairs; when she reached the bottom, she bumped into a small figure that was running without looking where she was going. “Sorry Miss!” she squealed scared, looking up and then her eyes widened. “You’re Alice!”

Weird, thought Alice, she was sure she had never met the child before, and yet the little girl knew her name. Her eyes were curious. One blue, one black. It was fascinating.

“I’m not sure who I am” said Alice, “but I’d like to know who _you_ are”.

The girl looked down. “I’m not sure myself” she said, awkwardly.

Weirder, thought Alice. “How can you not be sure?”

“How can _you_ not be sure?”

“I was Alice and then I wasn’t, and then I knew who I was, but I didn’t feel like I was her and I became Alice again… but I am not very sure I will _stay_ Alice – on the contrary, I am pretty sure I will _not_ stay Alice”.

“I know who I am, but they say I am someone else. They say I am Jane”.

“And you’re not?”

Not-Jane shook her head.

“Then _who_ are you?”

“I am just me!”

“But you need a name!”

“I don’t know my name but I know it’s not Jane”.

“If you don’t know your name, how can you be so sure it’s not Jane?”

“Because I don’t like Jane…”

“Very well, then…” said Alice, with resolution in her voice. “If you don’t know your name, and you know it is _not_ Jane, I will call you Mary Ann”.

The little girl stayed quiet for a while, her big blue and black eyes were wide and thoughtful. “I don’t know if my name is Mary Ann, but I do like it”.

“It’s settled, then” sighed Alice, relieved to have solved at least one problem. “But how do you know _my_ name?”

* * *

The sun was shining upon New Orleans and the air was cold. People were rushing to work, parents were accompanying their children to school, the streets were very busy and noisy.

There was a playground next to the school, some of the children were playing there, knowing perfectly that they were going to be late for their lessons, and they didn’t care.

A group of four children were standing in a circle, surrounding a little redheaded girl.

She was crying, because the other children were making fun of her. It was amazing how little children could be so cruel, at such a young age – they couldn’t be older than eight or nine.

When the girl tried to get away, they pushed her to the ground and ran away. She got up and wiped her eyes with her sleeve, deciding that she didn’t want to go to school yet. She probably wanted to go home, but her mother had already left…

It was at that moment that the door of the black van slid open, and the man in an elegant, grey suit got out of it, heading towards her.

He waited for all the other children to go inside the school, and then he approached her with a smile. “How come a sweet child like you is crying all alone?”

The girl lifted her head, her big hazel eyes were red with unshed tears. “Those kids were mean to me, because they say I’m a freak”.

“How rude of them!” the man gasped, putting his hands in his pockets. “I bet you are the smartest child in your class”.

She smiled, nodding slowly. “But they say that I cheat because I can see the answers to all the tests”.

The man raised his eyebrows with fake surprise. “Is it true?”

The girl shook her head, lowering her gaze. “Only if I touch the teacher, but I never do because I know that cheating is wrong…”

“You are a very wise child” the man said with a kind smile on his face. “You know what? I want to give you something. I’ve bought some ice cream, I was intending to eat it with my daughter at home, but you really deserve it. Do you want it?”

It took the little girl some seconds to decide, but in the end, she nodded and the man started to head back to his van, hands still in his pockets.

When they were near the open door, he climbed into it, rumbling inside, as if he was looking for something. The girl patiently waited for her well-deserved ice cream, but when the man turned back to her, he wasn’t holding ice cream in his hands, but a white cloth.

He quickly grabbed her by the wrist, shutting the door closed. In that second, the girl’s eyes rolled back into her skull, and she held her breath. When she came back to her senses, she knew – she _saw_ – what was coming, and she opened her mouth wide, to try to scream out of her lungs.

The man took advantage of it, quickly placing the cloth on her mouth to cover it, it smelled funny. The child breathed deeply into the chloroformed cloth, her scream died as she lost consciousness, and her small body fell into the man’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have already wrote chapter 4, and it is currently in beta. Some smut is in it, and some other things... I am very happy with my chapter 4, and I can tell you that the name is "it is my own invention".


	4. It's my own invention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good stuff happen, and then bad stuff.  
> {here I am with my wonderful summaries}

January was her least favourite month of the year. She didn’t exactly know why, and she didn’t exactly care to know. It had always been like this and she had accepted it as a fact of life.

Pouring herself a generous amount of whiskey, Bedelia drank the first glass as if it was water, and then she poured herself some more.

She knew she was supposed to eat something, and she knew that she hadn’t eaten anything in days, but she really couldn’t care less.

Her life was miserable. She lived in a small apartment that she loathed, in a neighbourhood that she hated, with people that she could not stand. But she was alive.

Alive was enough, she kept telling herself, and at night, when she was lying alone in her cold bed, she wondered if she was just lying to herself, and she was too cowardly to make a drastic and permanent decision.

Maybe it was ‘permanent’ that she couldn’t rely on, because she knew too well that death was everything but permanent. Nonetheless, she really wanted to avoid it – survival instinct, she supposed.

Bedelia opened her window and took a look outside; the sun was almost down, the air was incredibly cold and damp. It was sticking to her bones, and she knew, that night she was going to have joint pain.

New Orleans was awake, and she could see the bay in the distance. She had left the academy, but not the city. Foolish move? Perhaps, but Hannibal and Will were never going to look for her there, once they knew she was gone.

She had the full intention to stay with the Coven, but she soon realised that it was not only selfish, but also incredibly reckless. There were children living in the academy, and many other girls… if Hannibal really wanted to kill her, and she knew he did, Bedelia wasn’t completely sure he wasn’t going to do something immensely stupid and inconsiderate.

She could not risk the safety of the Coven – Bedelia sighed, thinking that only a few months ago, she would not care about it one bit.

She didn’t want to explain her reasons to her sister, so she left at night leaving just a note. She knew her sister would probably never understand, but she really hoped Alice would.

She regretted her decision, she really thought she should have left with her, she knew she should have. But she never made the right decision, right? All her life, she always made one mistake after the other, and she kept going that way, hoping that maybe – one day – she would make the right one.

She had learned it the hard way, when she was a teenager. She hated her mother to the point of leaving as soon as she could, and she ended up living at a friend’s house.

She lived her life working hard for _everything_ and she always ended up with nothing. She was used to keep on smiling, and being positive. Now she was done with smiles and positivity.

Hannibal Lecter didn’t ruin her life, _she_ did. The blame game was over…

It was her fault; and she was now paying the consequences, she was aware of it, now. But she still was allowed to complain about it.

Ignoring the time, she decided it was a good moment for another shot of whiskey, then she let herself collapse onto her sofa, lifting her left arm and rolling up her sleeve to check her watch. Her appointment was late.

As soon as that thought crossed her mind, the doorbell rang and she inhaled deeply before standing up.

Trying to control her impatience, Bedelia reached the door and checked who it was through the peephole.

The fisheye lense distorted the image of a man; small and slender, he was standing still, like a statue, with his thin white hair sleeked back, in an old fashioned style.

Bedelia unlocked the door carefully, and opened it, letting the man in without a word.

He was carrying a brown leather bag with him, it seemed pretty heavy.

“Good evening, doctor. Would you like something to drink?” Bedelia asked, faking a smile. Even though her apartment was lacking in good taste, she still decided in wearing fancy clothes and drinking expensive beverages.

The doctor followed Bedelia into the kitchen, slightly out of breath after carrying that bag for a long way. “A glass of wine would be perfect, actually” he laughed lightly, lifting the bag onto the counter with a groan.

“Red or white?”

“Red, thank you”.

While Bedelia picked the bottle and was busy opening it, the doctor started roaming around in his bag, looking for something.

Bedelia could hear her heart beating faster, as she sat in front of him, handing him the glass of wine.

“Thank you, Mrs. Goode,” he said, accepting the glass with one hand while the other arm was half way into the bag, still roaming.

Bedelia shivered at the sound of the infamous name, but she needed to change hers, and fast; so she used her mother’s – it wasn’t a risk, since the only people who knew her mother weren’t a threat.

The small man before her sipped his wine in silence, enjoying its taste. When he was half way through it, he put it down and started to talk business. “So,” he said, taking out a black velvet container, “this month’s harvest has been quite spectacular” his voice quivered, as he unrolled the black container onto the table, revealing a set of vials filled with a dark brown, see-trough liquid.

Bedelia’s face was blank, but she tried to smile, mimicking his pleased expression. It wasn’t her medicine, it wasn’t her drug of choice, but Hannibal knew her tastes, and she needed something new – possibly unusual, so that it would be harder to track.

According to the man, it was something of his own invention. A mix of sedatives, tranquillisers and a special, secret ingredient, that he kept to himself.

The doctor was a discreet man, and he supplemented his earnings with a side job.

After less than ten minutes of recommendations and small talk, the doctor stood up and recollected his things from the table. “I am terribly sorry,” he said, “but I have to go now. I have another client waiting. I know my way” he added with a smile, shaking Bedelia’s hand.

He knew his money was on the table in the living room, there was no reason to remind him. And she knew he wasn’t going to count it there.

“Thank you, Dr. Jekyll”.

“Always a pleasure, Mrs. Goode”.

Bedelia waited until she heard the door closing, then she went to secure the lock.

Once she was back in the kitchen, she took out a small vial and put the rest away; she then headed to her bedroom.

Now that the vial was in her hands, she wasn’t feeling so eager anymore. She had all the time that she wanted.

Bedelia put some music on, and as old, 20s jazz music filled the air, she sat on her bed, closing her eyes.

The aromatic candles in her room lit simultaneously, their smell hung in the air immediately and Bedelia breathed it in, letting it fill her lungs.

She had been so nervous lately, she really needed to relax.

After breaking the glass tip of the vial, she filled a syringe with its content, and placed it on the top of the bed, next to her.

Her hands trembled with anticipation when she rolled up the sleeve of her dress, revealing her forearm. The signs of her addiction were starting to show; her veins were enlarged, the skin slightly bruised.

Bedelia tied a tourniquet around her upper arm and waited. She found the right vein and pierced the skin in that precise spot, injecting the whole contents of the syringe inside her.

The effect was immediate; she could feel the liquid inside her mixing with her blood, she could almost sense her cells reacting to the substance.

Her sight doubled for a second, then a rush of heat hit her body, leaving her shivering. She lifted her left leg onto the bed, lying supine on the mattress. She breathed heavily, listening to her heart beating in time with the music.

She could _see_ the music; the notes were like colours, lifting up her head, making her feel better. In that precise moment, she couldn’t care less about Hannibal Lecter, about Will Graham, about her life in general… she was happy and serene.

As another wave of heat rushed through her whole body, Bedelia closed her eyes. She could feel it hugging her heart, spinning in her brain, rolling into her stomach, until it reached her core.

Bedelia started to feel the familiar tingling sensation between her legs, like an itch she had to scratch. It was a pleasant side effect of her new medicine.

She reached a hand under the skirt of her dress, caressing herself through her lacy underwear, finding herself wet.

Bedelia’s mind wondered in several directions, letting the music lull her body, and the sweet smell of the candles awake her senses.

She pictured Alice touching her, instead of herself. She pretended her fingers, sliding under her underwear, were Alice’s – as she arched her back, biting her lower lip.

The drug relaxed the muscles in her body, letting her mind become hazed – imagination and memories mixed, and Alice was there, she could feel her hands on her body, she could see her golden hair sprawled between her legs, across her tights.

Bedelia suppressed a moan, sliding two fingers inside her, feeling her walls clinching around them; she stiffened, squeezing her knees together and she felt the cold of the metallic juncture against her own hot skin.

Her arousal grew with every touch – her fingers pumping faster, deeper; her palm hitting her clit with every stroke.

The music wasn’t loud enough, she could hear her own breath growing louder and the occasional moans she couldn’t stop from escaping her mouth.

Bedelia’s heart was pumping furiously, because of the drugs and the arousal. It wasn’t painful, or anxious, though. The medicine was working just fine and whatever the secret ingredient was, it was doing its job – as Bedelia was now happier than she had been in days.

Getting herself closer to the edge, Bedelia bit hard into her lower lip, almost drawing blood. She couldn’t feel it anymore, but she didn’t care. The ache between her legs was starting to be unbearable, every other sensation she was experiencing in that moment was less important.

Starting to feel the first sparkles of her orgasm inside her lower stomach, Bedelia increased the speed of her hand, pushing herself further into the mattress; Alice’s name was on her lips as she was starting to become insane, wanting that torture to end and to continue at the same time.

She couldn’t wait any longer, and with her ears ringing painfully, she let herself go; a low moan echoed in her throat, as she sealed her lips together, biting even harder into her lower lip. And she came around her own fingers, pushing her knees together once more, and ending up convulsing onto her side, holding her breath while the sensation of her orgasm hit her like a wave and slowly withdrew after few seconds of pure ecstasy.

She came back to her senses immediately after, and she could once again hear the 20s jazz, and the candles smell. Her laboured breathing took a while to calm down, but once she was done, she felt exhausted, and yet satisfied.

Her clouded mind knew she would feel like that for some additional hours; after that, she would be hungrier than ever – and once the drug was out of her system, she would cry herself to sleep, and repeat everything the following day.

* * *

The air was cold and damp, as usual. After his daily tour of clients, Jekyll returned to his home, leaving his boat at the dock and heading towards the shack.

It seemed abandoned inside, if it wasn’t for the lit fireplace. There was a young, blonde woman sitting in front of it, when she heard the door open, she turned her head towards him and he smiled. “Good evening, Lydia. How are the children today?” he asked in a casual tone, taking his coat off and joining her at the fireplace.

The blonde woman averted her greyish eyes, and shrugged. “As usual, some of them wouldn’t stop crying, so I had to put them into the pit”.

With a sigh, he stood up and put his coat back on; he needed to check on them.

Lydia stood up and almost left the room, but before she disappeared behind a door, she raised her voice, so that he could listen. “And, Mr. Hyde, the new one is scaring the others, she’s in the pit too”.

Jekyll’s skin crawled, he loathed the name – but he could not use his own name while dealing his medicine with those kind of people. His real name was associated with his daily upper-class customers, he did not want it to be stained with the troubles of the other, unworthy, but willing-to-pay clients.

As the man left the shack, he walked past an old and rusty cabin, covered by weeds and ivy. It was almost invisible, hidden by the dark and the trees surrounding the lake.

He could hear muffled voices coming from inside, but they stopped when he opened the door.

The air smelled bad, of excrements, vomit and urine. The voices were just breathing and whispers now.

Jekyll put a cloth on his nose and mouth, trying to ignore the smell. His eyes adjusted to the dark very quickly, and the silhouette of several small children appeared before his eyes.

He did not need to harvest now, he only wanted to see if they were calm – and they seemed to be. “Don’t be scared, children” he said in a cordial tone, “You have been doing very well lately. You keep quiet like this and tomorrow you’ll get extra ice-cream”.

He checked if the chains  were still in places, he checked if everyone was still alive, and then he left again – headed to the pit.

In the back of the cabin, there was a door. He opened it, revealing a staircase carved into the ground; he started to descend it, ignoring the rats noises and the constant water murmurs down the stone walls.

After a long corridor, immersed in the darkness, he could see the light of the moon creeping into a small cave.

He looked up, he could see the beautiful sky, the stars were winking at him from there. Then he heard a whimper, and he was brought back to reality.

He looked down, hazel eyes were staring at him filled with fear. He approached the child, chained to a wall, and knelt before her. She could not talk, because her lips were sewn together, in a very poorly way. In the dark, her freckles and the dry blood on her face looked exactly the same.

Jekyll lifted her chin with a sad look on his face. “Oh look at what kind of mess Lydia’s done! I told you not to talk so much about your visions, child… but you didn’t listen. You never do”.

He stood up, ignoring her whines and walked to another corner of the cave, where another baby girl was crawled up, next to an even younger, motionless, child.

He poked the younger one with the tip of his boot, and when he realised she wasn’t sleeping, he sighed. “Heavens, Lydia” he complained to himself, leaning into her and lifting her small and light corpse into his arms, “why do you always have to be so aggressive. They are only children”.

* * *

It was a cold morning, and Alice was walking nervously inside her room – the one she once shared with Bedelia; Blue was waving a piece of paper before her face. “You sure you don’t want to know what it says?” he asked, with a mischievous smile on his lips.

Alice shook her head, “No!” she half-screamed. She _did not_ want to read Bedelia’s note. She was furious at her, she had abandoned her, and she didn’t care about her anymore. No, she wasn’t going to read her note.

Blue and her had a small talk, but he wasn’t satisfied with the amount of information he succeeded to draw from her. “This woman, what was her name again?”

“Bedelia” she muttered under her breath, as if she didn’t even want to pronounce that name.

“Bedelia,” he repeated, “was she your girlfriend?” he asked.

“What? No!” Alice laughed, “she was my psychiatrist…” then she stopped, “although, we did have sex sometimes…”

Blue seemed a bit confused for a few seconds, then he shrugged. “Okay… why are you so mad about your psychiatrist leaving then? I mean… you can find another one. Why do you need a psychiatrist in the first place? Are you mad or something?”

“Blue,” Alice sighed, “I murdered two people in front of you, told you I was using a fake name, I have absolutely no idea what happened in the past six years in the world, and you’re asking me _why_ I need a psychiatrist?” she raised her left eyebrow, then averted her eyes, “besides, I have always had a few problems” she added, and ‘problems’ wasn’t the correct word, but she didn’t want to talk about her personalities now.

“Like what?” he asked, in an almost taunting tone.

Alice felt like she had eaten a rock, she turned her back to him and walked towards the door. “Like I need some air now” she said, ending the conversation there and leaving the room.

She really was starting to feel oppressed in the house, so she decided to go and take a walk in town. She asked Cordelia if she could borrow a car and she ended up wondering around without a place to go.

In the end, she stopped her car and found a drugstore. She always loved drugstores, it was the place where sometimes the Hatter brought her when she wasn’t feeling good. They avoided hospitals.

She bought some aspirins – she found out, several years before, that once reduced to a thin powder she could snort it and feel extremely dizzy, causing her nose to bleed. She had a lot of fun scaring the hell out of the Hatter, making him think she had taken some weird stuff he was saving for himself. Maybe she could try that with Blue…

While she was heading to the exit, she bumped into someone – for the second time in two days, maybe it was her that wasn’t paying attention, she thought.

“I’m sorry, sir” Alice muttered, realising the man in front of her had dropped what he was carrying. She knelt and he did the same, she helped him pick up the stuff. “I hope nothing’s broken…”

“That’s okay,” the man said with a kind smile, “thanks for apologising, most people would have just ran away without even a look”.

Alice felt a weird sensation inside her, a tickling, _wrong_ sensation. There was something sinister in the man’s eyes and she really wanted to go back to the academy now. “I’m not like most people,” Alice laughed awkwardly, walking backwards. “Have a good day, sir!” she smiled again, heading to the car, trying to fight the urge of running away.

* * *

Dr. Hannibal Lecter stood still, outside the drugstore, watching as the black car drove away. He could barely believe his eyes, but he was sure that girl was the one he and Will were researching about.

Maybe there was another way they could use the girl, he thought while taking out his phone, dialling Will’s number.

He brought the phone to his ear, never taking his eyes off the tiny black spot. It took Will only one ring before he answered. “The plan has changed, Will”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have made several trailers for this story and the prequel, if you want to check them out, my second channel on youtube is called "Lily Liddell" just type "Lily Liddell fanfiction" and you'll find them :)


	5. The Rabbit sends in a little bill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice receives a phone call from a new friend.

Miss Cordelia was a very kind woman, thought Mary Ann – she really liked the name, and now everybody called her that.

She had been to the academy for almost a week now, and she was starting to like the place. It was big and shiny, she still wasn’t used to it, but she liked the cats and the other kids were nice.

She really liked Misty too, she was funny and she smelled really nice – like flowers.

Mary Ann was trying hard to remember her mother, but she really had no idea what her face was like.

In her mind, she pictured her with dark eyes and blonde hair, and a beautiful white dress, with blue flowers in her hair.

She wondered if she was still looking for her.

It was breakfast time, and she was heading to the kitchen; she loved the food they were giving her, it was so much better than the things she was used to.

Once she entered the room, she realised no one else was there, except for Alice. Only, she was _not_ Alice – she could tell by the colour that surrounded her.

“Hi,” she smiled, “who are you?”

Not-Alice turned her head towards her, and frowned. “Mary Ann, you know me!”

The child shook her head, with a serious face. “No, sir, I really don’t”.

Non-Alice scoffed, bringing a big mug to her lips and drinking from it. “Sir? Have you gone mad?”

Mary Ann closed her blue eye and she saw Alice, then she opened it and closed her black eye – and she saw Non-Alice. Weird… “You’re not Alice, you just look like her… I can see it because you’re white and Alice is light blue”.

“I’m white?” she asked, puzzled.

Mary Ann nodded, climbing onto a chair and grabbing a cup already full of cereals. “Around your head there is a bright white light. Alice’s light is not white, so you are not Alice. But this does not explain who are _you_ ”.

“I’m her best friend” she replied, in a low voice, “And I don’t like what you’re doing with your eyes. I could easily snap your neck, you know?”

Mary Ann looked up, closed her black eye and observed carefully the strange creature before her. The white glow grew brighter and swallowed Alice’s face, giving her head the sinister shape of a rabbit with red eyes. “Rabbit”.

“What did you just say?” her frown grew, her voice higher.

“You have the face of a rabbit and you won’t hurt me, ’cause I can see you are a good rabbit, not a bad one” Mary Ann smiled, eating her cereals. She watched as the Rabbit brought the cup to Alice’s lips again, eyeing her suspiciously. “How can you be inside her head? Is this your superpower?”

Alice shook her head, “No, it’s not. And I am not inside, I am _clearly_ outside. The reason why I am outside, is because Alice is sad and she does not want to eat, but she needs to, so I make her do it” said the Rabbit, putting the empty mug down.

Mary Ann could feel the warming halo that the Rabbit was irradiating, it made her feel safe. It really was a nice Rabbit. “Would you like to be my friend?”

The Rabbit stayed quiet for a while, when he spoke, he seemed to take the offer very seriously. “Why would I want to be friends with you, and why would _you_ want to be friends with me?” he asked.

“Because,” said Mary Ann in a small voice, “I could help you do stuff, and you could help me keep the bad man away at night”.

* * *

Alice was cleaning her room and Mary Ann was helping her; she didn’t quite recall how the child ended up being her little housemaid, but it was nice having someone who helped you – since Blue had disappeared for the past two days. He was probably high as fuck in some dirty pit, he would come back without his pants and with no memories of the past events of his life – it wouldn’t be the first time.

They had just finished making the bed when Misty appeared in the room, telling her that someone was on the phone and they wanted to talk to her.

When Alice reached Cordelia’s study, she was left alone in the room, and she picked up the phone reluctantly, but curious to know who it was.

“Hello?” she asked, happily.

“Alice Carmichael speaking?” a male voice answered, she didn’t recognise him.

“Yes, who is this?” she replied.

“My name is Will Graham,” he said, in a very calm voice, then he added, “do you know who I am?”

The name lit up a hundred red alerts in Alice’s head, but she remained coldblooded. “Yes” she said, her only fear was that Bedelia was in danger, but those ideas were whipped out when the man spoke again.

“Good, then there is no need of introductions” he seemed relieved, “I am currently in Chicago, I will give you the address in a minute. I am in your mother’s company, you’d better hurry if you don’t want something very unpleasant to happen to her”.

* * *

The house Alice’s mother was living in was located in a residential neighbourhood; it was a big, old house with a nice and neat yard, a small pool and a tall fence all around it.

The morning was cold, but it wasn’t too bad. Will was used to a much worse weather.

The interior of the house was even fancier, the woman had a taste for minimal style; it was a nice mix – old on the outside, new on the inside.

Alice’s mother – Alison Pertwee – was using her maiden name again. She had a new name, a new life, a new house… the only thing she was missing was a new family.

She was now in the spacious living room, sitting on a chair – wrists and ankles tied up with a rope and duck-tape on her mouth. She was an attractive woman. In her late 50s, red natural hair, pale green eyes; she was tall.

Will was snooping around, there weren’t a lot of pictures. On a black varnished piano, he spotted the photo of her holding a Corgi puppy, next to it, a photo of her wedding day. Her husband was not as attractive as she was – slightly shorter than her, dark hair and a bad smile. She was still not over him, maybe that was the reason she didn’t have a new family. He could not find pictures of her adoptive daughter, though. Too painful, he thought.

“I really like your house, Mrs. Pertwee” said Will, “I am sure your daughter will like it too, when she arrives”.

The woman’s eyes widened, and she started to scream – but he could not understand what she was trying to say.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt her. I only need to know something from her, then I will leave you two alone”.

When the woman started to scream harder, Will grew tired of her – he injected her a small dose of sedative and left, heading towards the kitchen.

He found an empty bowl on the ground, but no dog. He looked around, and found dog food – he didn’t like the idea, but there was no time to cook his own food, so he opened it and poured it inside the bowl.

He waited, and then – moved by hunger and guided by its olfaction, the dog showed up. It wasn’t a puppy anymore, but it was still small.

The Corgi spotted Will as he knelt beside the bowl, lifting it up and offering it to the dog. “Come on,” he said, “I bet you’re hungry”.

The dog seemed extremely suspicious. It smelled Will’s hands and then the food, it barked and started eating, wagging its tail.

With a satisfied smile, Will waited until the dog was finished, then he patted its head and the dog barked happily, licking his hand in return. “What’s your name, little boy?” asked Will, picking up the dog, looking for a tag. “Sorry, little _girl_ ” he smiled, but she was wearing no collar. He let her go, and she left the kitchen, trotting away.

Before he could follow her, the doorbell rang and his smile disappeared.

He went to open the door and when he did, Alice Carmichael was waiting patiently, the hood of her jumper was hiding her golden hair.

Will stepped aside, letting her into the house. They remained in silence, she didn’t look worried or scared, on the contrary, she seemed extremely calm and relaxed.

“Thank you for coming at such short notice” said Will, and the girl looked up. She was very short, she was wearing trainers and she could not reach his shoulders. He could have easily killed her, even without the knife he was hiding inside his pocket.

“Where is my mother?” she asked in a cold voice, once again, it showed no emotion.

“In the living room, shall we?”

Will walked her to the room, she stopped in the doorframe, but he reached behind her mother, grabbing her by the shoulder and forcing her to her feet. He took out the retractable blade from his jeans, clicked it and placed it at the base of her neck.

The woman shivered and whimpered – her eyes were fixed on her daughter.

“Hello mum” she said in a British accent, lowering the hood.

The woman wiggled in his arms, and he held her tighter, she turned her head to him and tried to tell him something, he just shut her up by pressing the blade to her neck.

“I only have to ask you a question, Alice” said Will, remaining stoic. “You tell me what I want to know, and I leave you and your mother in peace”.

“What is it?” she asked, her eyes and her mother’s eyes were interlaced.

Will’s voice was cold and sedate, when he spoke, he did it slowly. “Where is Doctor Bedelia Du Maurier?”

Alice’s eyes flinched, they snapped from her mother to him in an instant, but her face did not change. “I don’t know”.

Will’s hand slipped a bit, and few drops of blood stained Mrs. Pertwee’s blouse. “Wrong answer”.

Alice didn’t seem to be scared, so he pushed the blade further, drawing a painful whine from the woman.

“If you want to kill her, you should cut a bit lower” said Alice, and he frowned. “I don’t know where Bedelia is, and if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you”.

“You do realize that your mother’s life depends on what you are saying”.

Alice laughed lightly, that left Will surprised – and he wasn’t such an easy person to surprise. “And do you realise that,” she started, walking towards him – the woman in his arms pushed herself further into his deadly embrace, whining harder – “she is shitting her pants and she would gladly be killed by you in this moment”.

Will’s surprise turned into confusion when Alice placed a hand on his own, bringing the blade lower and pushing lightly, drawing more blood.

“I really like your new house, mum” Alice smiled. “Say hi to dad when you see him” she added, grabbing Will’s hand and dragging it across her mother’s throat, slicing the skin as if it was made of paper.

Will jerked away as a hot, thick rush of blood sprayed into Alice’s face and body. He let the mother go and she fell limp to the ground.

Without thinking, he grabbed Alice’s hand and dragged her to him, blocking her arm and placing the dirty blade to her neck.

Before he could do anything else, he felt a piercing pain on his right foot, and he groaned, letting the girl go.

She did not run away, instead, she charged at him and pushed him against a bookshelf. Books fell down, hitting him on the head.

In a rush of rage, Will tried to attack her again, this time successfully hitting her with his fist. Her blood started to flow from her nose, mixing it with her mother’s.

“I have no idea where Bedelia is” Alice repeated, panting and with a malicious grin on her lips. She tasted her blood, whipping her tongue across her lips. Will was lost. “If you find her, tell her I am very mad”.

She tried to go now, but Will grabbed her by the hair, pulling her hard. Alice screamed in pain, hitting him with her elbow. He groaned, but held her and she spun around quickly, grabbing his head with both hands and hitting him forcefully, his teeth against her forehead.

Will let her go, tasting blood in his mouth. His head was pounding badly.

He decided that the game was over, taking out a revolver out of his belt, pointing it at her.

Alice smiled, “Did you know that when you die, if you’re lucky, you become a ghost? And if you’re not, you end up nowhere, and everything is just pitch-black. That’s awful” she said, and her smile turned into a grin that made Will cringe. “You know what’s even worse? Hell. So I’ve been told, never been there…”

“Shut up,” Will threatened her, but then the Corgi entered the room and barked loudly, he turned his head towards her, and Alice took advantage of the moment, charging him once again, stealing the gun from his hands.

She was holding it with both hands, shanking – her eyes looked different, they were full of tears. “When you die,” she sobbed, “you feel nothing, you hear nothing, but you exist… you’re trapped, forever” the tears rolled down her cheeks, as her eyes found her mother on the ground and she sobbed again. “I don’t want to go there anymore”.

Will had no idea what she was talking about, she was crazy. Completely crazy, and he was already done with her. Next time, Hannibal was doing the dirty work.

“If you’re going to kill me, do it fast. You have already made me lose too much time” he complained with a bored face and a emotionless voice. “I will not let you leave without the information I need, so you either tell me now, or I will have to make you talk”.

Alice looked at him, frowning she shifted the gun from him to behind him. For a moment, Will believed she was pointing it at her now dead stepmother, when he looked around, he realised that she was aiming at the dog.

“I am leaving” said Alice, with a shaky voice.

Will burnt with rage, he didn’t know if she was actually going to shot the dog, he didn’t want to risk it. He would have found her again, and smashed her head into a pulp.

Alice stepped back slowly, disappearing into the darkness of the corridor. He heard the front door open and he then heard the sound of an engine starting.

He sighed, feeling exhausted. He sat on the floor, the dog jumped on his lap and he automatically pat her head. The pool of blood coming out of Alison Pertwee’s wound had reached his feet; Will thought that Hannibal would have never let him into the house with dirty shoes, so he stood up, holding the dog and sat on the couch. He didn’t care about the corpse behind it.

Knowing that he was supposed to call Hannibal sooner or later, he took out his phone and dialled his number.

“The girl’s gone” he said into the phone, with a tired voice. “She knew nothing, and she killed her mother. She’s mad as a hatter”.

* * *

It was quite late, but Will was supposed to come back home soon. Hannibal was setting the table, thinking about which wine he should pick for the dinner.

Will’s phone call had been very brief; he still had no idea what happened, and how. He knew Will was good at his job. He trusted him completely, so something must have happened.

He heard the door unlock, and a small smile appeared on his lips. He was curious to know the rest of the story.

Anyways, when the man stepped into the living room, a surprised look appeared on Hannibal’s face.

Will was standing in the doorframe, covered in blood – with a wiggling, happy Corgi dog under his arm. “What happened?” asked Hannibal in a casual tone, regaining composure and picking up a bottle of pink wine.

“She was going to shot the dog” he said, “and the mother was dead, I couldn’t leave her there…”

“Her?”

“She’s a girl, I don’t know her name” Will knelt down, letting the dog go and with a groan he stood up again, obviously in great pain. His face was purple and blue, his upper lip was cut. “Look,” he sighed, sitting at the table without washing his hands or face. Hannibal cringed a little, but his eyes were on the little dog, that was exploring the house, “I know what you’re thinking—” he started, covering his eyes and rubbing his lids, but Hannibal interrupted him.

“You really don’t” he smiled, pouring some wine into two glasses, handing one to Will. He emptied it in a single gulp and extended his arm to get some more. “I was thinking,” said Hannibal, filling Will’s glass again, then turning his head to the Corgi – she was sitting on the couch, with her eyes fixed on them, “that ‘Alana’ would be a perfect name”.

The dog lifted her head, her ears pricked up and she wiggled her tail, barking happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist giving Will a dog, and calling her Alana.  
> Next chapter's title will be: "A long tale".


	6. A long tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice returns to the academy, she's shocked and scared. But there's a surprise waiting for her...

Covered in blood, Alice entered her bedroom – every inch of her body was hurting. It was almost three o’clock in the morning and the rest of the house was asleep.

She tiptoed to her bed, slumping onto it with wide arms. Alice rolled onto her back, sighing – and even breathing was painful.

She needed a shower, she needed some painkillers and a good night’s sleep. She wasn’t going to get any of these things. She was past exhaustion, she was on the verge of a comatose state – and yet, she couldn’t sleep.

How was it possible? Her eyes were _burning._ She was so tired she was about to cry; in that moment the door of her bathroom opened and a familiar voice reached her ears. “Hey mate, what’s wrong? You look absolutely gutted!”

Alice turned her head towards Blue, he was standing in nothing but his boxer, in the doorframe with a toothbrush in his hand. She wiped off the tears from her cheeks and sat up. “I have just killed my mother – again”.

“What?” he sounded amused, but when he realised she was serious, he coughed awkwardly. “Oh— well, I guess she had it coming. Didn’t she?”

Alice nodded. “She was scared, and someone else was going to kill her… so I did it first” she felt sadness filling her chest and so she closed her eyes, feeling hot tears rolling down her cheeks again.

Several minutes of silence followed, then Alice felt the bed dipping next to her. “Hey, look…” Blue’s voice was kinder than usual. “I know you’re having a hard time here. Do you want to know what’s been happening with me these last few days?”

Alice smiled, and nodded slowly – she needed a distraction, and since she could not sleep, a bedtime story was very appropriate.

“Ok, so I left with the best intention of getting a serious job,” Blue started, and Alice already knew where this was going, “and I end up meeting this guy, who’s dealing some weird shit and needs to market it, but he needs to test it first…” Blue stopped, he got up and reached for his backpack. He took out something from it and he returned to Alice, sitting on her bed. “Basically I got payed a shitload of money to get stoned. Believe me, this is good…”

He showed Alice a little bag of white powder, as he started to prepare it. He took out a syringe and a teaspoon. Alice sighed, feeling quite empty. “I don’t like this, don’t you have some shrooms?”

Blue shook his head, “Sorry, Alice” he said, gesturing her to roll up her sleeve. “This is going to be a blast, trust me”.

As he put the needle against her skin, Alice shuddered. “Can I ask you a question, first?”

Blue stopped, lifting his head and smiled. “’Course you can… spit it out”.

Alice sighed, laying down and covering her face with both hands. She felt her eyes burning again, this time with tears, instead of tiredness. “I died…” she said, and when she realised she hadn’t spoken loud enough, she repeated, “I died four months ago… and Cordelia brought me back— that, that’s something witches can do, some of them”.

“Woah…” Blue whistled, then he laughed lightly. “Have you met God? Or Buddha — or whatever”.

Alice shook her head, the dreadful feeling of emptiness clenched her chest again. She fought back the tears. “Only darkness” she said, then added: “I know Hell exists, but that’s a place you go when you have done something with your soul, I think… Cordelia told me something, but I wasn’t listening carefully enough I guess – no,” she repeated, “when I died, there was only darkness. It doesn’t end… ever” a sob got stuck in her throat. “What do you do when you’re sad and you want it to be over but you know that even in death you won’t find peace?”

Blue stayed quiet for a while, then he sighed. “I know what I’d do,” he said, wiggling the syringe in front of her eyes and she gave him her arm. “You’ll feel great, I promise”.

*

When she opened her eyes, Alice realised she was standing on something very hard. It took her several moments to understand it was the ground.

She still couldn’t see a thing, because her eyes were too clouded; her nose sensed an intense sweet smell, of flowers and dirt.

Something poked at her leg, and she groaned.

“Is she dead?” a high-pitched voice asked, and she received another poke in the stomach.

“We should call Miss Cordelia” another voice suggested, and this time she got kicked in the shin.

Alice whined, opening one eye. “I am _not_ dead!” she blurted, her voice low and sored.

The little girls shrieked, and they stepped back quickly. She sat up, and then she stood on her feet; even though she wasn’t dead, she felt like it. Her head was pounding, she had nausea and she had no memories of the past hours – she didn’t even know why she was sleeping on the ground, in the greenhouse.

She wanted to ask the girls to go away, but when she opened her mouth, another wave of nausea hit her, and she bent over, vomiting; as the girls screamed, Alice stepped back, fumbled and passed out again.

*

A cold hand placed on her cheek woke her up; Alice opened her eyes slowly and her eyesight doubled. The room spun, and she gasped – short of breath.

She was lying in bed, it was her room and the daylight was coming through the curtains. The sunlight was too bright, it hurt her eyes. She opened her mouth but no sound came out; a glass was pressed to her lips and she drank the water slowly.

“Too bright, eyes hurt” said Alice, when words couldn’t quite come to mind.

She heard Cordelia’s voice – it was close, she whispered and her tone didn’t hurt her pounding head. “Zoe, please, shut the curtains”.

In a minute, the room became darker and Alice sighed with relief.  “Thanks” she murmured in a small voice, she then coughed and her body was shaken by shivers from head to toe. “What happened?” she asked.

“You’ve spent the night outside, in the cold… and you’re running a high fever now” Zoe’s voice came from somewhere in the room, but she couldn’t see her. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Alice didn’t reply, instead, she reached for the glass of water and drank some more. It felt good, the fresh liquid inside her sore throat. She could feel it pooling in her stomach, cooling down her body.

She coughed again, and Cordelia hurried to put an additional pillow behind her head. “When did you come back?” she asked, sitting next to her.

“Last night,” replied Alice, closing her eyes and breathing slowly. “Blue was here…”

“What?” Queenie was there too… she had no idea where. Somewhere to her left.

“Blue… he was in my room last night, where is he?” Alice was used to have any sort of drugs, she usually could handle them better – she wondered if Blue had the same experience the first time he took that thing, she didn’t even know what it was.

She felt Cordelia’s hand on her forehead, feeling for her temperature. “Blue hasn’t come back yet, Alice” she said, kindly.

Alice frowned, shaking her head slowly. “He has… he was in my bathroom last night. His backpack is on the armchair” her throat was dry, so she sipped her water again.

Noises of fabric rubbing against other fabric reached her ears; she tried to lift her head, but her neck was hurting and she realised she couldn’t even turn her head anymore. She was a wreck…

“There’s only _your_ backpack here, Blondie” Queenie’s voice was too loud and she groaned in pain, squeezing her eyes. “What is this?” she asked, and Alice sensed Cordelia leaving her side.

She stayed quiet, until Cordelia approached her kneeling beside her head – then, she tried to open her eyes again and she saw the white powder Blue gave her the previous night. “Alice, did you take this?”

Alice nodded, “Blue gave it to me… he used a spoon and a syringe”.

A door opened and closed, then she heard some noises she couldn’t recognise. “There’s a used syringe and a little spoon in the sink” Zoe’s voice was softer than Queenie’s, Alice was grateful of that.

“Blue told me a guy gave it to him…” she said, but Cordelia placed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

“That’s okay, Alice. Just stay in bed, you’ll feel better soon”.

When she got up, Alice tried to reach for her hand, but she was too slow. “I swear Blue was here… I’m— I’m not crazy,” even speaking was hard now, she found herself short of breath. She closed her eyes, feeling extremely tired and she fell asleep instantly.

*

Alice kept shifting between sleep and wakefulness during the day; she barley ate anything and she felt incredibly weak – the positive thing was that she wasn’t the only one feeling sick and the voices inside her head were quieter than usual, especially the usually more aggressive ones.

Zoe brought her chicken soup for dinner, sometime later Mary Ann went for a visit. She sat on her bed and they laughed and talked for a while.

Alice still had no memory of what had happened after Blue had injected the drug in her vein, and she still had no idea where he was now, but she was trying not to think about it.

“Miss Cordelia told us that drugs are bad…” Mary Ann told her, tilting her head to one side and she resembled a lost puppy for a moment.

Alice smiled, extending her arm towards her as she brushed a strand of dark hair behind the child’s ear. “She’s right, but I’m used to it…” she replied in a kind voice. Alice really liked that kid, she was smart and her company was pleasant. “Years ago, I used to live with a man who cooked me eggs and funny pills for breakfast” said Alice with a small laugh; memories of her beloved Hatter filled her mind, and a tinge of sadness touched her heart. “Whenever I was sick, he rushed to the nearest drug store and he would buy me medicine to make me feel better”.

Mary Ann looked down, she seemed ashamed and Alice placed a hand over hers. “What is it?” she asked, slightly worried.

The child shook her head, then she lifted it and her eyes looked bigger. “I used to live with a man too… and other kids”.

Alice frowned, she tried to sit up, but she was still weak. She managed to lift her head, though. “Did he drug you?” she asked, sensing the discomfort in the child in front of her.

Mary Ann nodded, then added: “And he took our blood too” she lowered her head again, she clenched her fists, embarrassed.

“Why would he want your blood?” asked Alice – her head was still confused; she was feeling funny and disoriented, but she could still try and focus, to understand what was happening in that moment.

Rolling up her sleeve, Mary Ann showed Alice her right arm. It was bruised, full of syringe holes – some bruises were older than others, but the majority of them were old. It made Alice feel a little sicker than she already was, and she couldn’t understand why. “We never knew… but Stacey, one of the girls that used to live with us, could read minds and she told us he was making a new medicine”.

Alice was now very confused, she had never heard of a medicine that required human blood. She once heard of a powerful drug that required it, but medicine and drugs were two different things… usually. “What was this man’s name?” she asked, curious.

Mary Ann shrugged. “He never told us, but we’ve heard him speak to his assistants, and they called him Hyde”.

“Hyde?” Alice replied immediately, the face of the man she knew flashed before her eyes. “Small, kind, white hair and tiny shiny teeth?”

Mary Ann’s eyes widened and she nodded forcefully. “You know him too?”

Alice’s mouth felt incredibly dry and she felt a bit lost again. She didn’t know what to do or say; in the end, she nodded once, averting her eyes. “Yes,” she replied. “I know him, but I didn’t know how he was making his stuff. He seemed such a nice person” and yet, she used to live with the Hatter at the time she met Hyde, memories of that period of her life were blurred and confused.

“I think I’ve been with him for a very long time. He wasn’t mean to me, but his assistants were…” Mary Ann spoke again after a while, she seemed a bit more comfortable now that she knew Alice knew the man.

“Where does he live?” asked Alice, she felt bad for those kids and she wanted to help, even if she didn’t know how. “Were there a lot of children?”

Mary Ann nodded again. “Yes, I don’t know where he lives, though…” she said, then she frowned, trying to remember. “I don’t remember how long I’ve been living there, as far as I can remember and I don’t remember a time when I didn’t… I remember that we moved a lot, and a boat, and the darkness… and a bad smell”.

With a sigh, Alice forced herself against the headboard – for a moment she thought she was going to faint. The room spun fast around her, and a hit of nausea hit her, but she breathed slowly through her nose, fighting it. “Don’t tell Cordelia about this, okay?”

Surprised by that request, Mary Ann stayed quiet – but then she nodded, she obviously trusted Alice very much. Alice could understand why – she and Mary Ann were quite similar; they both had a dark and confused past, not that the present was much different… and Alice had the feeling that her future wasn’t going to be brighter, but she truly hoped that something good was coming for Mary Ann.

“How did you escape?” asked Alice, eventually, when the curiosity was too strong to be ignored.

Mary Ann lowered her eyes again. “I can do this thing where I close my eyes and I go to another place, a bad place… there’s a hole in the ground and I have to bury Mr. Pickles over and over… but that was better than being chained with the other children, so I went there quite often during the last days. He must have thought that I was dead and he dumped me… I woke up in a field and I wandered around until I found the homeless shelter…”

Alice sighed, resting her head against the headboard and thinking carefully of what to say next. “Don’t worry, Mary Ann” she tried to smile. “You’re in the safest place in the world now. Nothing can happen to you here”.

The little girl smiled, and then she moved her eyes to the door as it opened.

Cordelia and the Council entered the room, to check on her. “Mary Ann, you should let Alice rest. She’s very sick” the Supreme scolded her, but her eyes were smiling and her voice was sweet.

Alice smiled too, caressing Mary Ann’s hair playfully. “She’s good company” said Alice, then she turned her head toward Zoe and Queenie. “Have you found Blue yet?” she asked – she was very concerned. She wanted to know where he was and what had happened, she asked the two of them to look around the academy, to see if he had passed out in another room.

As the two witches shook their heads, Mary Ann jumped off the bed and smiled. “I’ve seen him. Your friend, the one with blue hair”.

Alice turned her head towards her so fast that she felt something inside her neck snap. “Where?” she asked; her heart beating faster in her chest.

It was obvious that neither Cordelia or the two witches were expecting Mary Ann to have seen the man, but Mary Ann seemed incredibly calm about the situation. “He was in the kitchen, eating” she said, then added: “He’s dead, but I think he doesn’t know”.

“He’s what?” Alice tried to leave her bed, but she was forced back by Cordelia. “He— what?”

“He’s a ghost—” Mary Ann looked around to see if she had said something bad.

Cordelia tried to tranquillize her. “That’s okay, sweetie. Why don’t you go to your room, please?”

Mary Ann shared a look with Alice, and decided that she didn’t want to stay in the room anymore.

Once she was gone, Cordelia placed both hands on Alice’s shoulders. “Alice, I want you to tell me exactly what happened last night, after you got back”.

Alice gasped, shifting her gaze from Cordelia, to Zoe, to Queenie. “I—” she sighed, confused, “I saw him, in my room. He was brushing his teeth, we talked and he gave me the drug”.

“What did he say to you?” asked Zoe, quietly.

Alice had to concentrate to remember, because her memories from the previous night were starting to fade completely. “He— he told me he met a guy who gave him money to try some new drugs before he could sell them,” she placed a hand on her temple, massaging it forcefully, trying to fight back a headache.

Cordelia sighed. “If he’s dead and he doesn’t know it’s probable that he OD’d during the test” she seemed sorry.

Queenie scoffed. “Mary Ann has to find him soon, it’s better if he doesn’t go around like this. She has to go full _Sixth Sense_ on him”.

“Queenie!” Zoe raised her voice, then she addressed to Alice. “I’m sorry, but did he say anything else?”

Alice shook her head, starting to feel tired again. She lay in bed, and brought the covers to her chin. They had talked about death, she remembered that and she told him that it was even worse than life…

She sighed, drained by every emotion. She couldn’t feel anything – she wasn’t sad or angry or upset. She was empty.

Bedelia was gone, she had killed her mother, Blue was dead and he didn’t even know… what was happening to her life? She should have stayed in England.

Blue was going to be murdered there, but he didn’t end up better here. Maybe it was his destiny… and what was hers? She was scared; she didn’t want to die. She didn’t want to be trapped into the darkness again, and she didn’t want to become a ghost. She didn’t want to live either, because she had no reason to. And she started to miss the Hatter again – he would have known what to do, he would have told her not to worry.

For a moment, she believed she was asleep again – then, she realised she was imprisoned inside her cage. She wasn’t alone there; the Cat was crouched in the corner, tail between her legs and ears down. She was shaking, scared.

 _That’s okay_ , said Alice as she wondered whether the Rabbit or the Queen had taken their place inside her body. _I’ll be with you for a while_.

The Cat lifted her head, her whiskers trembled, and she closed her eyes slowly. _I don’t want to go back in that dark place again. I was alone and scared_.

_I know, I won’t let any of us go back there._

She said and meant it; the Cat lowered her head again, and Alice sat on the ground, crossing her legs and closing her eyes. After a while, she started hearing the Cat purring slowly, and she realised that for the first time in days, she felt truly safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will contain some smut, and it's going to be called "Life is but a dream".  
> I hope you liked this one! Thanks for reading my story, let me know your opinion!


	7. Life is but a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Alice and Bedelia are reunited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that during the smut part Bedelia might seem a little OOC, but there is a reason behind it.  
> Also, I know there isn't any steet called that way in New Orleans, but I needed it to be called that way... you'll understand once you read the chapter. :)

A white envelope was floating inside Alice’s room; she was in bed, under the covers and was trying hard to ignore the flying intruder.

“Come on, Harry” Blue’s voice filled the room, but she couldn’t see him. “Come on,” he repeated, and Alice snorted, “pick up the flying letter Harry!”

“Blue, stop it!” Alice raised her voice and rolled onto her stomach, hiding her head under the pillow. “Go away, you’re dead!”

She could hear a laugh close to her bed, and she pushed the pillow against her ears – it wasn’t enough though.

“I might be dead, but I am still here and you’re being rude. I just want to have a little fun, come on! Open the letter!” Blue’s voice was closer now.

Alice lifted her head, and she saw him on the armchair beside the bed. She sighed, sitting up and extending her arm towards him. She was tired of ghosts saying that they were dead and yet still there – what was the meaning of being dead, then? What were ghosts? They could do a lot of things, they were weird…

“Why are you such a bint? You’re not on your period anymore!” he laughed, giving her the letter.

Alice blinked a few times, then raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?” she scoffed, “Do you spy on me?”

Blue shrugged, “It’s bloody boring here, I have nothing to do” he said, “besides, you’ve been a little off lately. I wasn’t _spying_ on you, I was _checking_ on you!” he smiled cockily, proud with his answer.

Alice lowered her gaze to the white envelope in her hands. “Whatever…” she pursued her lips, feeling a little nervous. “You’re still a perv”.

After almost two weeks of going inside and out of her mind, with the Rabbit and the Queen fighting for control, Alice felt a little exhausted and spent the majority of her days in bed.

She promised Cordelia that she would start to work again as a maid as soon as she felt better, but deep inside her heart, Alice knew that in order to feel better, she would have wanted to and she really didn’t.

The envelope had already been opened, she knew Cordelia had read Bedelia’s note before – Alice didn’t know why it was so important for her to read that message.

She didn’t want to do it, but Blue was forcing her to.

“Come on!” he whined. “I’m curious!”

“Why don’t you do it, then?” Alice burst out, her eyes flashed with anger for a moment and she heard voices inside her head, screaming bloody murder. She jerked her head slightly, trying to ignore those voices; she inhaled deeply, regaining control.

Blue shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Calm down, psycho. I’m not curious about what’s written on the note, I’m curious about your reaction to it…”

“You’re weird, Blue. You’re fucking weird and you’re a perverted idiot. And a drug addict, and you died in the dumbest way” Alice was mad, she ripped the paper, revealing a thin card inside it.

“Said the one who drank from a bottle of fertilizer. Thanks for the reminder, I know you love me. I love you too little one, but I’m dead and my body is rotting in a shit hole, somewhere… there’s nothing we can do about it” he seemed so casual about the situation, it was almost unbelievable. Alice hated it. “So let me have some fun and read the fucking message, will you?” he smiled, winking and leaning graceless into the armchair.

Alice sighed noisily and took out the card; it was a small, white rectangle – the ink Bedelia used was black, and her handwriting was quick but elegant:

_Little maidens, when you look_

_On this little story-book,_

_Reading with attentive eye_

_Its enticing history,_

_Never think that hours of play_

_Are your only HOLIDAY,_

_And that in a HOUSE of joy_

_Lessons serve but to annoy:_

_If in any HOUSE you find_

_Children of a gentle mind,_

_Each the others pleasing ever_

_Each the others vexing never_

_Daily work and pastime daily_

_In their order taking gaily_

_Then be very sure that they_

_Have a life of HOLIDAY._

Alice put the card down, on her bed and threw her head back – hitting against the hard headboard repeatedly. “You happy?” she groaned, sliding down and hiding under the covers again, turning her back to Blue.

The ghost reappeared right in front of her and poked at her shoulder, playfully. “I can’t believe you aren’t curious to know what that means” he sounded really upset.

Alice wasn’t impressed, she turned her back to him once again. “I’m not curious because I know exactly what it means” she replied in a bored tone.

“What?” Blue’s voice went up, and he laughed sitting back on the armchair. “What is it? The words ‘holiday’ and ‘home’ are in capital letters, is that a hint or something?”

Alice shook her head, sighing. “No, it’s just the way the poem has been written”.

“How do you know?”

“Because Bedelia didn’t write it herself,” replied Alice with the same bored voice, “Lewis Carroll did, it’s called ‘ _Acrostic_ ’” she gave the card to Blue and pointed at the first word. “See? If you read the first letter of each line, you read the names of Alice Liddell’s sisters”.

“I didn’t know she had a surname”.

Alice nodded, starting to like the conversation a little more. “She was a real girl, Carroll was a family friend. That’s not the only poem where he did something like that” she pointed at the card. “At the end of ‘ _Through the Looking Glass_ ’ there’s another one, it’s called _‘Life is but a Dream_ ’ and is an acrostic poem that spells out Alice’s full name”.

Blue leaned forward, frowning. “What is it?” he asked, hiding a smile.

Alice shrugged. “Alice Pleasance Liddell” she replied in a monotone voice, she was bored once again.

Blue stayed quiet for a while, then he spoke again and his voice sounded thoughtful. “Isn’t there a street named _Pleasance_ in the suburbs?”

“I don’t know, I don’t care…” Alice whined, she knew where this was going and she didn’t want to.

“I know there is” Blue’s statement was final. “I’ve been there, it’s where I met the guy in the first place. It’s not a bad place…”

Rolling her eyes, Alice lay supine – bringing the covers over her head. “I don’t care!” she repeated. “What am I supposed to do anyway? Just go there and knock on door?” she asked, but Blue didn’t reply.

After several seconds of silence, Alice sat up again and realised she was alone in the room. She hated the fact that he now was so quiet.

Blue reappeared shortly after with a book in his hands, he was reading something and a big smile appeared on his face.

“What is it?” asked Alice, craning with raised eyebrows, desperately trying to see.

He closed the book and forced her to her feet. “The address”.

For how stupid and irresponsible it was, on the last page of Carroll’s book – Alice didn’t even know there was a copy in the academy – right under  ‘ _Life is but a Dream_ ’ there was just a number written in black ink.

“I hate you,” whispered Alice, under her breath.

* * *

Bedelia could feel every heartbeat, every breath – if she focused really hard, she could even feel her blood rushing through her veins.

It was like every sense was amplified, she barley felt human. She had recently found out that food had a different taste when she was under the effect of her medicine, it was tastier, sweeter. Wine was amazing, more than usual.

She filled a glass to the rim, and few drops spilled like blood.

The pungent aroma was intoxicating.

The deep red colour was hypnotizing.

The bitter taste exploded in her mouth, feeling like velvet on her tongue.

She didn’t know how, but she found herself in the living room – the light of her chandelier was floating around the room, like fireflies.

When the doorbell rang, she realised that was the reason why she was standing there. A quick glance at her wristwatch told her that her guest was way early.

Straightening her back, Bedelia looked statuesque in her long, backless, green dress. Her fake leg wasn’t a problem anymore, she hid it anyways – just because she was still on Hannibal’s menu, and a fake leg was a very distinctive sign.

Approaching the door, Bedelia realised that walking was much easier now. It was like she was flying, she felt lighter, weightless – almost.

Her fingers circled the brass handle, using it as leverage to lean against the wooden door. Her shoulder rested against it, while she checked the peephole. Bedelia’s heart missed a beat when she realised it wasn’t her appointment, but a very unexpected guest.

She stepped back, shifting her whole weight on the handle – opening the door slowly, leaving the security chain on. She just wanted to be sure; her head fell slightly to one side, as her eyes were studying the person before her. Once she was sure no one else was there, she closed the door again, unlocked the security chain and let her guest in.

“What took you so long?” she asked, her voice was languid and sleepy.

“I didn’t want to come,” Alice’s harsh tone was way too high for her liking, and her voice ringed inside her head, scratching her brain. Bedelia closed her eyes when she shut the door closed.

That wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation, then…

“I’m glad…” Bedelia started, finding it hard to talk, “you are fine” she tried to smile, following the girl into the living room – she definitely didn’t know where she was going, but she sat on the first comfortable spot, crossing her legs and giving her a deadly stare.

Bedelia walked until she reached the armchair in front of the sofa, and she let herself fall onto it. Alice scoffed, looking away. “Well,” she said smiling sarcastically, “I’m glad you’re alive”.

“I didn’t think it would take you so long to decipher my message, honestly” Bedelia looked at her through half-closed lids. Alice was just as she remembered, almost five months had passed and nothing had changed in the girl before her, except maybe slightly longer hair.

Alice laughed bitterly, she brought her thumb in her mouth and chewed at the nail, nervously – obviously trying to calm herself. “It took me half a second to recognise the poem, but it took me three weeks to decide to read your letter”.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you” the voice failed her a bit, and the last part of the sentence was more a whisper.

“You didn’t _hurt_ me!” Alice’s stare stabbed her like a knife, and she was sure that if she had a real knife to hand, she would have stabbed her for real. “You can’t hurt me, because I don’t care about you! You’re my psychiatrist…” when Bedelia didn’t reply, Alice added – lowering her voice. “But why didn’t you come with me if you wanted to leave the academy?”

Bedelia smiled to herself, oh how did she miss her mood swings.

“What are you smiling at?” asked Alice, confused.

“Will you please pour me a glass of wine?” she asked, and heard Alice groan.

“Are you even listening to me?” her voice was altered, maybe it wasn’t the right decision to ignore her questions. Alice was harmless, but there were people inside her head that would skin her alive if they wanted to.

She would have lived without the wine. “I am,” Bedelia replied, with a tired voice – but the smile still in place, “I’m smiling at you, because I missed you”.

Alice stayed silent, her eyes seemed vacant. “I’m confused,” she confessed, with a quite calm voice.

“What confuses you?” now that seemed one of their psychiatric sessions, only Bedelia didn’t consider Alice her patient – unlike Alice.

Alice sighed, lowering her head. “You say you missed me, but why should I believe you? You let me leave alone and when I came back you weren’t there…”

Inhaling deeply, Bedelia tried to recollect her memories – it was more difficult that she thought. She remembered walking her to the airport, or was it the train station? “It wasn’t my intention to leave,” she confessed. “I had to leave otherwise I would have put the whole Coven to danger”.

“You never cared about the Coven…” her voice weakened considerably.

Bedelia’s sight was clouded, she couldn’t see properly – but she could see the movements around her, and she could see that Alice was holding her head in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees.

“I started to care,” she replied softly. “Things change, Alice”.

“That’s not my name” it was almost a whisper, but Bedelia’s sensitive hearing came in hand.

“What is your name?” she asked; Bedelia had almost forgotten that the reason why Alice left was to find her true self, learning about her past and family.

She sensed her eyes on her, and shifted in her seat – crossing her legs tighter. Alice’s voice was tremendously frail. “Why should I tell you? I don’t even know if you still care about me or not…”

Bedelia couldn’t stand seeing her like this. She truly cared, and she knew that it was hard for her to understand.

She decided that there was only one way to convince her, and it was to show her.

Standing up was hard; she had to push herself with both arms, and once she was on her feet, maintaining her balance was almost impossible. The room spun around her, and the walls trembled.

Bedelia inhaled deeply, focusing on her beating heart. She sat next to Alice, framing her face with her hands.

Alice froze, looking confused. “What are you doing?” she asked with wide eyes.

Bedelia leaned forward, capturing Alice’s lips in a soft kiss. “What do you think I’m doing?”

Alice pushed her away, but she stayed still. “You’re high” it wasn’t a question, but a statement. A statement Bedelia didn’t want to consider.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” she smiled – an euphoric sensation filled her chest, it was like pure happiness was flowing through her veins, “and it won’t be the last” she added, placing her hand on Alice’s knee and sliding it slowly, upward.

Alice stood up quickly, shaking her head. “No,” she said, “I mean you’re _too_ high. I don’t like it…”

Bedelia sighed, letting her head fall over the rim of the sofa. She looked  at the ceiling, the fireflies were still flying in circles. She smiled, the heat in her stomach flew directly between her legs and she bit her lower lip, trying to concentrate. “You’ll get used to it,” she breathed, not sure if Alice could actually hear her words.

She stood up again, this time without too many problems – she slowly approached Alice, placing her hands on her hips, pulling her close to her and pressing her body against hers.

“I am very conscious of my actions, and in full possession of my mental faculties” she said, leaning forward and capturing Alice’s lips again – this time with more passion, forcing her tongue inside her mouth.

Alice kissed her back, and when they separated she looked up at her with a slightly frightened look. “That sounded like the beginning of your will, it’s creepy”.

Bedelia smiled, sliding her arms around Alice’s neck and using her body to maintain balance. “Did you know a popular French expression for ‘orgasm’ is ‘petite mort’? It means _little death_ ,” she brushed a strand of her hair away, revealing Alice’s pulsing neck. She placed a kiss on her jugular vein, feeling it throbbing. A burning sensation was devouring her from inside, but she desperately tried to control herself as she placed another kiss, just above Alice’s earlobe. “I wouldn’t mind dying today”.

She avoided Alice’s new complaints by kissing her hard – all teeth and tongue, pushing her towards the door and grabbing her wrist, dragging her inside her bedroom.

It wasn’t quite ladylike, but she didn’t feel like herself.

Without breaking the kiss, Bedelia pulled Alice’s shirt over her head, then she started arguing with the zipper of her jeans.

Stumbling back, Alice fell on her bed – she kicked her shoes away, lifting her hips to remove her jeans and remaining in underwear. “Please,” she breathed heavily, looking at Bedelia with dilated pupils, “don’t die on me, not you too”.

Bedelia wasn’t sure of what she meant by that, but she smiled – climbing on top of her, relying on the fact that her fake leg wouldn’t give up. “I won’t,” she assured her, taking Alice’s hand in her own and bringing it behind her back, to pull down the zipper of her dress, “not before you do”.

She wasn’t wearing a bra, just a pair of black, lacy panties – Alice’s underwear was, as usual, very childish.

Bedelia kissed the corners of her mouth, making her smile. She placed an open-mouthed kiss on her collarbone, using just one hand to unclasp Alice’s pink bra.

Once she freed her, Bedelia closed her lips around her hard nipple and bit it lightly, earning a low moan from Alice.

That was so much better than her imagination – she thought, reaching down between Alice’s legs and caressing her through the fabric of her underwear. She played a bit with the white, little ribbon on the rim of her panties, teasing her.

Alice automatically pushed herself into Bedelia’s embrace – and she slid her tongue around her other nipple, sucking and biting harder.

Her own arousal was driving her insane – her core was pulsing, she wanted to bite harder into Alice’s flesh; Bedelia had to fight the urge to sink her teeth into her soft and warm skin.

She felt Alice’s leg around her hip, as she pushed herself further against her, begging for her to touch her.

Bedelia gladly accomplished her request, sliding her hand inside her panties and brushing her finger against her, very lightly. Alice was wet and the fabric of her underwear was irremediably damp. She removed it, using both hands and while doing so, she traced a pattern of wet kisses down her stomach.

The smell of Alice’s arousal was aphrodisiacal; Bedelia could feel that scent on her body, mixing with her own; it was hanging in the air, and she loved it. She couldn’t wait to taste her, now that her senses were so sensitive.

Alice’s legs quivered under her, but she took her time enjoying the show before her eyes.

Alice’s naked body was young and fresh, her skin was soft and pale – she had some old bruises, Bedelia wondered how she earned them. She spotted some new scars, she couldn’t wait to ask about them.

“Delia…” Alice breathed heavily, whispering in a soft voice –  it was almost inaudible, “why did you stop?”

Bedelia’s eyes flashed with lust, and she smiled mischievously. Her heart started beating faster, she could feel her blood rushing once again, she could almost trace its way inside her body. “Try and ask me nicely” her voice was filled with primordial lust.

She didn’t wait for Alice’s answer; Bedelia buried her face between Alice’s legs, feasting on her exposed body, tasting her and enjoying her. Her savour was always the same, but on her tongue it felt stronger, more intense.

Alice shook violently under her touch, as her tongue pushed against her wet folds, entering inside her. Once again, Bedelia had to fight the urge to bite her, that feeling was completely new to her – she had never felt this way before.

The ache between her own legs was unbearable, and  she had to reach a hand down her body, to relive some of the pain.

Bedelia moaned against Alice, and the vibrations she sent her made Alice squirm; she panted and shook her head convulsively. A loud moan escaped her mouth, pushing Bedelia against her with a hand. It didn’t take Alice much longer before she came in her mouth, grasping onto Bedelia’s hair, hurting her.

In less than a minute, the positions were reversed – with Bedelia helplessly holding onto the headboard, begging for more, and Alice’s merciless hands exploring her body, making her feel something after so long.

Bedelia’s orgasm hit her like a wave – unexpected and unannounced, so different from the others she gave herself, that were slowly built and lasted only a handful of seconds.

The room filled with thousands of fireflies, they almost blinded her – her heart stopped beating, her breath was caught in her throat and for just a second she forgot where she was, who she was, she forgot about the Damocles’ sword dangling over her head. She was free again, she was _happy_ again.

And then, it was over… she opened her eyes and she was in her bedroom. In the apartment that she hated, in the world that she hated, chained to the life that she hated.

Bedelia turned her head towards Alice, and found her smiling happily – her golden hair sprawled across her pillow.

At least, she thought, she was with a person she loved.


	8. A boat beneath a sunny sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things are going to happen. You're going to think "well, that escalated quickly"...

Filling up two glasses of 2013 Sterling Sauvignon Blanc, Hannibal Lecter approached Will Graham by the window and offered him one glass. He accepted it silently, with shaky hands; it usually wasn’t that bad, but it got worse with time. “Thanks,” he breathed, taking a single sip and placing the glass onto the windowsill.

Hannibal left his glass untouched on the bedside table, reaching for his white shirt. “You’re nervous,” he stated, starting to carefully button it up.

With a sigh, Will retrieved his glass and reached the unmade bed, sitting at its foot. “I have a bad feeling about this” he confirmed, emptying the glass, probably whishing it was something stronger.

Standing in front of a person-size mirror, Hannibal checked the back of his shirt. Once he was sure it was impeccable, he wore a hand-sewn, padded vest. He looked at Will through the mirror, he was concerned even if his eyes didn’t show it. “It’s our only clue” he pulled the rims of the vest, straightening it, and smoothed its surface with his hands. “You should start to get ready too, we have to leave in less than an hour”.

Will closed his eyes, breathing slowly. His hands tightening around the glass – his right leg was beating rhythmically on the ground. “How do we know it’s the right lead?”

Closing the gap between them in two long steps, Hannibal gently took the glass from Will’s hands, before he could crush it and cut himself. He placed the empty glass next to his full one and walked to the wardrobe. “Because we know that Bedelia had a taste for this kind of substance, and we have already checked every other source”.

Will got to his feet shaking his head, he seemed on the verge of a nervous breakdown. “We have absolutely no certainty that this guy is going to lead us to Bedelia. It could be a complete waste of time” he ignored the shirt Hannibal had picked and was now handing to him, and headed to the door. “I need to take a shower”.

He left, leaving the door open and Hannibal sighed. He placed the shirt carefully on a chair, and he sat on his side of the bed, picking up his glass of wine. He took his time tasting it – it wasn’t the best wine, but it was good enough, for now.

They needed to stay focus, they had a job to do and Will was starting to lose his patience. That wasn’t a good sign; he needed him to be at his best, otherwise he was forced to do the job on his own and this wasn’t a one person situation. He needed Will on this one.

* * *

Lying placidly in bed, Alice was counting the cracks in Bedelia’s ceiling. She somehow always lost count at some point.

When the door opened, she averted her eyes and lost count once more – but she didn’t care this time. Bedelia entered the room with a glass of water in her hand and she sat beside Alice, offering her the glass.

“Thanks” Alice smiled at her, sitting up and bringing the covers to her neck. “You acted weird, you know?” she asked casually, sipping slowly at the cold water.

Bedelia brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face, looking away. She looked so frail wearing only a white, satin robe. “I’m sorry,” she apologised, obviously ashamed. “It’s my new medicine… it alters my inhibitory system”.

“You don’t have to apologise,” laughed Alice, placing the empty glass on the bedside table and reaching forward, hugging Bedelia from behind. She placed her head against her back and she could feel her heartbeat. It was quite relaxing, knowing she was alive. “What are you taking?”

Bedelia sighed and Alice heard more noises from her lungs that made her smile. “I don’t know…” she admitted and Alice frowned.

“You don’t know what you’re taking?” she drew back and gave her a concerned look when Bedelia turned her head towards her. “That’s not very smart…” she said, thinking about the way Blue died.

Bedelia lowered her head. “This I know… but it’s safer this way. It’s harder to track me down”.

Alice rolled her eyes, getting up and dragging the white sheet with her, wrapping herself in it as a towel. “If you say so…” she mused, reaching the window and looking out. It seemed cold outside, she was glad that Bedelia’s apartment was heated. “Can I see it?”

“See what?” Bedelia seemed still quite confused, it must have been pretty strong stuff.

“The things you had” she explained, patiently. “I want to see it, maybe I know what it is…”

Getting up and shaking her head lightly, Bedelia joined her, standing by her side. “I don’t have any more left. I’m waiting for my doctor, he should be here any moment now”.

She seemed to be much more stable on her left leg, now. The robe was short and the knot was slightly loose; Alice could see the end of her real leg and the start of the prosthesis. She turned to face Bedelia and placed both hands on her hips, pulling her towards her.

Alice kissed her tenderly, but she deepened the kiss as soon as Bedelia started to respond to it. When Alice drew back, she stared into her eyes for a brief moment – they were clouded, distant. She definitely didn’t like whatever she was taking.

“I’ve met Will Graham” said Alice, out of the blue, and she sensed Bedelia stiffening in her arms.

“What?” her voiced sounded scared, even if her face remained blank. “Where?”

Alice stepped back, turning her back to her lover. At least she seemed more paranoid about her situation. It was good, paranoid meant not being caught. “Chicago,” Alice replied with an absent minded voice. “He called me at the academy. He held my mother captive… when I arrived he asked me about you but I said I didn’t know where you were…” she sighed, shrugging, “which was true, by then. He was about to kill my mother, so I had to do it in his place… that was something he had planned for very long and he didn’t want it to end that way…”

“Will Graham?”

“The Rabbit,” Alice’s voice was childish. She wasn’t feeling anything at the moment. Images of the past flashed before her eyes – she knew killing her mother was wrong, but she didn’t feel guilty about it. Will Graham was going to kill her, she was going to die anyways. That way, she died faster and almost painless. The Rabbit never liked her, he wanted to kill her different ways, but he didn’t have the chance. “He cut her throat, and I mourned her death for a while”.

“I’m sorry,” Bedelia said, quietly, “for your loss” her voice was soft and hoarse, it was like a warm hug for her sored heart. She missed it deeply, almost as much as she had missed her hands on her body.

Alice smiled, reassured. “I’m okay now” she said. “It happened two weeks ago”.

“Alice—” Bedelia started, but she stopped her.

“That’s not my name, I’ve told you”.

“Will you tell me your name?”

“I will, but you have to promise me you won’t use it” she sighed, it was weird. She didn’t like her real name, it didn’t feel real at all. But she wanted Bedelia to know it – and never use it. Her mind worked in strange ways, but that was what she wanted. “I just want you to know that when you call me _Alice_ you are not calling my name, but one of my names… I am not sure who I am now… sometimes I’m Alice. But I don’t think I am Alice now…”

Bedelia looked confused, her eyes were distant again. Her lips slightly parted; she realised that she lost the sense of time for a moment and pursed her lips, tightening the knot of her robe. “I promise,” she tried to smile, but didn’t quite succeed. It was cute, thought Alice.

“Fine,” she smiled happily, “it’s Paige,” she said, then added: “Paige Angela Mourin”, Alice rolled her eyes, scoffing. “It’s not bad, but I still prefer Alice” the voices inside her head, thought otherwise – they didn’t like Paige at all, there was one particular alter that loathed that name – Alice wasn’t quite sure who, but any time she though about it, the sexless voice started to scream inside her head. Alice was almost sure she had never heard of it before her trip to London. She wondered who it was and how it got there… maybe it had always been there, or maybe it wasn’t there at all.

Before she could notice it, the room was spinning and she was starting to feel sad again, she heard another voice inside her head, perhaps the Rabbit, or maybe it was the Hare – these days she was never really sure – it was telling her bad things, she couldn’t quite understand what.

Alice closed her eyes for what she thought to be a short moment, but when she opened them again, she found Bedelia sitting next to her, in bed. “Sorry…” she said, ashamed. “I’m losing my mind again. I think I have someone new in here…”

Bedelia smiled again, she was smiley today and Alice loved it. “You’ll learn to control them”, she was about to say something else, but the doorbell stopped her and Alice got to her feet, nervously. “That’s okay, it’s probably my doctor. Stay here, it won’t take too long”.

* * *

Dr. Jekyll was at the door, she secured the knot of her robe and let him in. He was more nervous than usual but they exchanged their chats as they would normally do, pretending nothing was different. Apparently, one of his clients was having problems with the medicine, but he assured her that the problem was his and not related to the substance.

She payed and he left, but while she was going to go back to her bedroom, Alice stopped her by almost jumping on her – making her heart skip a beat.

Bedelia felt her fake leg quiver under Alice’s weight, and for a moment, she truly believed that she had lost her mind and was going to attack her.

After a second, anyway, she realised Alice was her usual self and was only acting paranoid. “What is that?” she asked, pointing at the bag that Jekyll had left.

“My medicine,” Bedelia replied, letting her go and lifting the beg onto the counter.

With wide eyes, Alice inhaled deeply and looked scared, probably more scared than she had ever seen her. Trying to figure out if there was something going inside her head, Bedelia reached to touch her shoulder protectively, but Alice stepped back drawing back from her touch. “I—” she stammered, “I think you shouldn’t take it anymore”.

“What?” Bedelia was confused, and she didn’t believe it was due to her medicine. “Is something wrong?” 

Standing in her hallway, with a bag full of sedatives by their feet, the two women stared at each other in silence; they were both waiting for the other to say something first.

Alice’s eyes were vacant, they were fixed on the bag, but they were vacant. When she spoke, her voice trembled and Bedelia could sense her discomfort – it was almost disarming. “I know that man,” said Alice, without looking at her, “he was a friend of the Hatter. He’s not a good man”.

Stupidly enough, Bedelia lowered her eyes on the bag, feeling scared by the thought of touching it. “Are you sure?” it was clear that Alice was pretty sure, but at this point Bedelia had no idea what was happening and her mind was still a bit clouded – she really hoped that wasn’t just a big hallucination she was experiencing.

Alice nodded. “That…” she breathed, pointing at the bag, “I met a girl at the academy, she was held captive by that man and he used her – and her children – to harvest their blood, to make… _that_ ” she wasn’t even able to finish her sentence, her eyes were blinking furiously, trying not to share tears of fear.

Once again, Bedelia doubted the reality she was living. Was that really happening? A nagging pain in her upper stomach was dragging her down – she felt the urge need of vomit, but she breathed slowly and kept that urgency away. “Are you sure?” she asked for the second time, even if the question wasn’t really needed.

“I heard you calling him Jekyll,” said Alice – without really answering her question; her eyes were still on the bag. “That’s not his name, the Hatter used to call him Hyde…”

The irony – Bedelia thought, she couldn’t care less which one was his real name and which one the alter ago he created. If what Alice was telling her was the truth, then she had injected human blood in her system for almost four months now. It was sickening; the mere idea of it made her legs quiver. She needed to drink something.

Alice stayed quiet for a while, in the end, she raised her head and when she spoke, her voice was different. Bedelia’s blood froze at the British accent, but she tried to be calm.

“I have to get dressed and go after him. I have to kill him, I promised a friend I would do it” Bedelia stayed still, frozen. What the hell had just happened? She followed Alice with her eyes, she disappeared into her bedroom and when she got out, almost immediately, she was fully dressed; she left her apartment, without saying goodbye or any other word.

Bedelia did nothing to stop her because she was too shocked. Was it real? Was it an hallucination? It all happened so quickly that she was left breathless and confused.

It had to be real… Alice felt real, very real. But what about later? She was in not in the right state of mind… was she supposed to go after her? Maybe she would have hurt the poor doctor. But was he a doctor for real? The switch from Alice to the Rabbit was too immediate, she missed it. Maybe she was just too tired or still inhibited by the medicine to notice it.

No, she couldn’t follow her. There was just one logical thing to do; she was going to make a phone call to her sister and check if any of what Alice had told her was true.

* * *

Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter were patiently waiting inside a rented car; they had followed Dr. Arthur Jekyll during his daily visits and in the end, they finally found out what they wanted.

After the doctor entered the building, Will followed him inside as he had done for the last few hours. When he realised it was actually Bedelia’s apartment, he went back to the car and waited with his partner.

Finally, the doctor left and they stayed quiet; shortly after, they watched as a blonde figured started to follow him from far away.

“That’s her” Will said, “Bedelia’s patient”.

“I know,” Hannibal’s voice echoed inside the car. “I think we might have a change of plans, again”.

“Why?” asked Will, tired and sceptical. “We just go in there, and we end it. Why do we care about the girl?”

“She amuses me” Hannibal’s lips curled in what could have been a small smile, but Will didn’t like it one bit. “Let’s follow her. We could use her”.

* * *

The Rabbit had followed Hyde from far away, Alice didn’t know for how long. She remembered a car and a boat, then everything was quite blurred and she had no idea how she was going to leave.

She hated when the memories of her alters were dissociated with her own. That was when she really felt like going crazy; but the Rabbit took control of her full body and mind, and she was just an empty shell for a while.

Alice was sitting on the ground, she smelled damp earth and animal urine. She could see a shelter from where she was, and it was the only one she could see – it was kinda obvious that Hyde – or whatever his real name was – was living there.

Was she really going to kill him? No… she couldn’t, she needed her Rabbit, or the Hare at the very least. But she couldn’t hear anybody now – she was alone and it wasn’t a really good moment to be alone.

 _My God! We’re going to die!_ Screamed a voice inside her head and she suddenly froze.

_Not now, Mr. Mouse, please… we need to do something._

_We’re gonna die here, Alice. Run away, the boat is still at the dock… he’s gonna kill us. Run!_

_Someone kill the fucking rat, please!_

Alice breathed slowly, leaving her safe spot. She was heading towards the shack, when she noticed something moving in the brushes. She couldn’t see what it was, but she was sure it was a white flash. A rabbit? Again? Should she trust her eyes?

She decided to follow her instincts, and go chasing the rabbit – she always trusted the Rabbit.

Walking fast and trying not to make a sound, Alice started to head towards what looked like the heart of a small woods. Not far from where she was, she noticed a little house, hidden by leaves and trees. In front of the door, there was standing her little, puffy white rabbit – on his back paws, looking at his pocket watch and pointing at the door.

“You want me to go in there?” asked Alice, lowering her voice and approaching the door.

The tiny rabbit licked his paws and pulled down his ear, then he hopped away, leaving Alice alone once again. The door was closed but she only needed to push it a little, and it was open. The wooden beams were rotten, the air inside was stale.

Some sunlight was filtering through the holes in the ceiling, and suddenly Alice was hit by the tremendous smell – a smell she knew too well.

Excrement, urine, fear and death.

She heard the whimpers before she could see them – at least seven baby girls, she couldn’t estimate the age, but none of them looked older than ten. They were all looking at her with teary eyes, too scared to speak a word.

Alice stepped forward, unable to focus on a single thought. It was almost too much, the sight was unbearable, it was inhuman.

Then one of the girls screamed in fear, and Alice didn’t have time to turn around, she felt a painful sting on the back of her head. She opened her mouth to scream but a cloth covered it, and she inhaled automatically. In that moment, her sight doubled and the last thing she saw were the scared, huge, brown eyes of the girl that tried to warn her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story!  
> I hope you liked this chapter, next one will be called "Waking" :)  
> See you soon!  
> x Lily


	9. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally have a view on what happened during the past months, and how Blue and Alice met.  
> Meanwhile, Hannibal and Will arrive to Hyde's shack.

_London, four months earlier._

Alice was standing outside a great, old building. It resembled a school and it hadn’t changed a bit. Knocking on the door, Alice felt a painful knot in her stomach – she was incredibly nervous. What was she going to do? Was Miss Darling still alive? Would she recognise her?

The door opened slowly, and in the dark of the early morning, Alice spied on two little eyes that were peeking at her. She immediately recognised them – she looked older, incredibly older, eighty-something for sure, but the eyes were the same.

“How can I help you, dear?” the old woman asked, and Alice smiled.

She showed her a fake ID, hoping she wouldn’t recognise her. “Dinah Liddell, I’m studying to become a social worker, I was hoping that you would allow me to see some old files”.

Miss Darling seemed happy to have company, and she let her in. “We don’t have many guests these days. It’s actually only me, a couple of nurses and a bunch of children” she laughed lightly as she slowly walked across the huge corridors.

There must have been a broken window, somewhere, because wind was coming through and the cold was bothering Alice. She wondered how could a woman of her age manage to survive in a place like this.

“You don’t have any help? A handyman, or a caretaker?” Alice asked casually, trying to figure out how many people she would have to face, in an emergency situation.

Miss Darling’s office was still the last door on the first floor – and it looked and reeked the same. It was an old room, with a very high ceiling. Her desk wasn’t clean and neat as usual, but messy and covered in dust.

On her old cutter table there were piles of old forgotten books. The window curtains were shut, and there were two dead plants decorating the office.

“Oh, no sweetheart,” she said in a calm voice, “Our old handyman, Mr. Dunphy, God bless him, died almost seven years ago. No one wants to work here anymore…” Alice remembered that place, it used to be colourful and happy – now it was grey and sad, just like the old and miserable Miss Darling. “Do you need anything in particular?”

Alice nodded, sitting at her desk when the old woman gestured to the chair. “My professor wants me to check and organise some files from 1991, if it’s not a problem”.

“Not at all,” she answered with a kind smile, walking to an old archive. She looked for the right year and took out quite a big book, full of files. “We keep all data on paper here, technology hasn’t reached us yet”.

Extending her gloved hands to grab the book, Alice thanked her with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Miss Darling was a liar, a bad person.

 _Let’s just kill her_ , suggested the Rabbit in a happy voice.

Alice smiled, browsing through the pages – those were the names of all the children that arrived that year, she still recalled some.

 _Do old people have dust in their veins?_ Asked the Hare, and Alice smiled some more.

“I really don’t think so” she whispered, but Miss Darling’s hearing was still as sharp as it was in the old days.

“What did you say, miss… what’s your name again?” she asked, sitting in front of her.

“Dinah,” she said avoiding the first question, “Dinah Liddell”, Alice asked her about few of the names, then she causally took out her own file, just like she did for the previous ones. “What about this one?”

Miss Darling took the file and looked briefly at it, then she put it down with a frown. “That’s— ah… that’s Alice Carmichael. She… she was… special”.

“Special how?”

_Just kill the bitch!_

_Kill the bitch._

_Kill her, Alice… she was mean to us_.

“You too Mr. Mouse?”

“What?”

“What?” Alice breathed deeply, confused and with a bit of a headache. Too many voices, and for once they were all agreeing on something.

“I said…” Miss Darling seemed to be getting suspicious, but she hid it well. “I said that she had some type of mental problems, that’s what they said”.

Alice’s eyes fell on her birth certificate. “Alice Mourin, born December 3, 1985. Why is there another birth certificate?” she asked, ignoring the voices screaming inside her head.

Miss Darling pointed at the second file. “Her mother changed her name when she was two or three, from Paige Mourin to Alice Mourin”.

“Do you know why?” Alice read through her files, learning something of her adoptive parents, the Carmichaels. She wasn’t really interested in that information, but she had to keep asking about random stuff, she didn’t want to sound suspicious.

_Alice, hit her now!_

_Off…_

“What was that?” Alice found herself asking aloud, lifting her eyes from the papers.

Miss Darling frowned. “What was what?”

“Nothing… I think I’ve heard… but I must be wrong” Alice forced a smile.

_Off…_

That voice again – she had never heard it before.

“You said she had mental disorders, what kind of illness did she have?” ignoring the voices was hard, her hands were screaming to hit her. She had to close her fingers into fists.

_Off… with…_

_Shut up._

“She was antisocial, she had no friends. She once pushed a child down the stairs – an accident, of course. But the child died and she showed no sign of remorse” Miss Darling sighed, looking away from the files. “God knows where that devil is now, I hope she’s dead”.

_Off… with… off… with… her…_

“She was just a child…” Alice’s voice was calm, soft, but she felt very offended by her words. She _was_ just a child. A special child that needed help, instead she received hate and stupid doctors and that was how she ended up being the way she was.

“She was the devil’s child… my dear, she had a beautiful face. Angel’s eyes… but her soul was rotten. Off the record, she killed her parents with a butchering knife at the age of six, that’s why she ended up here” there she was, she dropped the mask and revealed herself for what she really was. The ugly old woman with a nauseating cologne and evil little eyes.

Alice stood up, indignant. “I did not!” she half said, half screamed. And while Miss Darling’s eyes were filling with confusion, she hit her fist on the table. “And you’re a liar! And an evil old lady!”

Before she could tell anything else, there was a glimpse in the woman’s eyes – a glint of terror and knowledge. The knowledge of having just made a big mistake.

Alice’s hand snapped quickly and grabbed hold of a heavy ashtray; she lifted it and smashed it against Miss Darling’s right temple.

The old woman fell semi-unconscious onto the table – she lost the ability to talk, but when Alice stood up, her eyes followed her.

Alice grabbed her by the hair, and pulled her to her feet. Her voice was harsher, higher. “Lying is bad, don’t you know?”

Miss Darling tried to escape from her strong grip, but she was an old, frail woman – and Alice was stronger than she looked. In two steps, she had dragged her by the cutter table, and she had pushed the books aside, lifting a cloud of dust.

She pushed harshly Miss Darling’s head on the table and lifted the blade.

A sinister light flashed into Alice’s eyes when she grinned. “ _Off with your head!_ ”

And she lowered the blade, but it didn’t cut through the bone. It got stuck, and Alice had to pull and push and kick, and press with force, before the head detached from the rest of the body and rolled onto the floor, leaving a trail of fresh blood.

“Good thing I was wearing those gloves and coat. I didn’t stain the dress” she sounded pretty happy with her conclusion. A second later, however, Alice looked down at her feet, dirty and then at the horrible head on the floor, and she shivered. “What the hell was that?!”

_New arrival…_

*

So, apparently she had a new alter… a new aggressive alter – a protector, maybe. She wasn’t able to listen to him or her, she never managed to do that easily. Maybe she would never meet it again, she didn’t have to worry about it.

On the other hand, she had a corpse to worry about – she had left Miss Darling there, and quickly ran to catch her bus.

With a bit of luck, she was going to be nothing more than a ghost. Funny how the one thing she didn’t want in her life, was about to give her the possibility of getting out of that situation unscathed.

She was sitting on a dirty step of a London Underground station – she didn’t know which one, she had just walked there, then stopped and waited. She had nowhere to go… it was unsafe to go back to her motel.

She was probably going to sleep there, hoping nothing bad would happen – not to her, she didn’t worry for herself, but if someone would try to rob her, they would probably end up dead. She didn’t want to kill anybody else.

“Mind if I sit here, mate?” a voice came from above, but she didn’t lift her head.

“I’m not a hooker” she simply said, sounding bored.

A laugh filled the air, and she sensed the man who owned the voice sitting beside her. “Never thought you were. I’m Michael, but they call me Blue”.

Finally, Alice lifted her eyes and fixed them on the hand the man was offering her. It belonged to a long arm, attached to a long and non-muscular chest, to which end was attached a thin neck. She didn’t want to cut off another head – and his face was friendly, too…

The guy was smiling, waiting for an answer.

Alice shook his hand, forcing herself to smile. “Dinah. Nice to meet you”, he had blue, spiky hair… no doubt where the nickname come from.

“Nice to meet you too, Dinah” he smiled and reached for something in his pocket. “You really look down, you know. You want a smoke? It’s good stuff I can guarantee that”.

Alice frowned, confused – but she accepted the cigarette and held it between her lips while he lit it. “Do you often go around offering joints to strangers?”

“What can I say?” he laughed, taking back the cigarette she was handing him and taking a puff from it. “I’m a generous bloke”.

“Generosity won’t lead you very far, you know that?” Alice didn’t mean to be rude, just honest.

Blue nodded, with a bitter smile on his lips. “I’m still learning, I know… do you often accept non-identified joints from strangers?”

Alice smiled at his words, averting her eyes. “I’m a curious girl” she said, in an amused tone.

“Curiosity often leads to trouble…”

That line was going to be the end of her…

* * *

_Present day_

 

Curiosity often leads to trouble…

That was the only thing Alice could think, while sitting against a hard rock, in what looked like a pit – or a very large rabbit hole.

But it was probably just a pit.

It was dark, she could see it from the roofless ceiling – she had no idea where she was or how long she had been unconscious; the only thing she was aware of, were the scared children around her.

There was a little girl with her lips sewn together, she was looking intensively at her, without even blinking. For a moment, Alice thought she was dead, but then she blinked and the thought was gone.

What was this place? How long had Hyde been doing this? Was the Hatter aware of his business? She would never know the answer to that…

She didn’t care; the only thing she cared about in that moment was to get free, and kill the obnoxious man, and possibly free all the young witches.

Why witches? Maybe their blood was special or something… magical, perhaps.

* * *

Will and Hannibal were walking in the undergrowth; they had found the shack, met the two guards – who were now resting inside the deck of the boat they used to arrive at that part of the lake – and they were now headed to the pit the blonde woman had talked about.

They had also found the ingenious mechanism that the doctor used to filtrate and clean the blood, and the other substances he used to make his medicine.

Once they found the little house hidden by the trees, it was easy finding the stairs carved into the rocks that lead to the pit.

All those children were looking at them with pleading eyes. Will couldn’t ignore them, but it wasn’t the right time to act.

They had flashlights to light their way, and when they used them to illuminate the corners of the dark pit, what they saw made their skin crawl – and neither of them was easily unnerved.

Those children were treated in such poor condition that there was no way they were all alive. Somewhere – very near, by the smell that was hanging in the air – there must have been a mass grave.

Their eyes, however, had been caught by another peculiar and unexpected sight.

The man responsible for such pain and suffering was already dead, on the cold ground. His eyes had been removed, along with his lips – poorly cut by a sharp knife.

His chest, repeatedly stabbed, was still bleeding profusely – he wasn’t long dead, then.

His executioner was couching in a corner, talking to herself like a psychopath.

Her long, golden hair was spread across her back, stained with blood. Her head was lowered, she kept whispering incomprehensible words, like a prayer.

“Looks like she doesn’t need any help” Hannibal’s voice echoed inside the cave, but the girl didn’t seem to notice. “Take her,” he ordered Will and he did so.

He grabbed her and put her on his shoulder as if she was a bag, she didn’t complain. She let go her bloody knife, whispering her insanities to herself.

“She’s completely nuts” Will commented, heading towards the stairs, and disappearing into the darkness.

Hannibal knelt to pick up the murder weapon and looked into one of the children’s eyes – she seemed to be around ten and she was hugging another little girl about the same age, she was staring at him without blinking – her lips sewn together. He handed her the knife and she took it without thinking about it, ready to defend herself.

Hannibal smiled at her as he took out a mobile phone from inside a pocket of the doctor’s trousers and dialled a number. “We were never here” he said.

A metallic voice came from the receiver. “911, what’s your emergency?”

Hannibal didn’t reply, but handed the phone to one of the little girls – the first girl seemed to be hesitant, but the girl with the knife took the phone and put it in her hands; Hannibal stood up and left without a trace.

Will was waiting with the girl and the two helpers, on board of the small speedboat. The blonde girl and the thin guy were still knocked out – Bedelia’s patient seemed catatonic.

“You sure this is a good idea?” Will asked, starting the engine, looking back at the shack.

Hannibal followed the trail of his eyes, calculating the time the police would take to arrive, and which way was better to go, to get back home safely. “No, but I’m curious to know Bedelia’s reaction to our invitation now that we have a special guest”.

* * *

It was early morning and Cordelia was already receiving dozens of phone calls from the police. Apparently, twenty or so young witches had been found not too far from where Misty was once living, and they were all scared, without a family, and a place to go.

It was her duty as Supreme to look after them, and maybe, help them find a place in the world. Someone was probably looking for them…

“Any news from your sister?” Misty’s voice reached her from behind and she jumped, scared.

“No,” she breathed, trying to ignore the other’s laugh at her reaction. “She called me yesterday morning asking me questions about Mary Ann, I think… but she is fine – Alice found her, has she came back yet?”

Misty shook her head, peeking on all the files and calls Cordelia was receiving. “Not yet, no” she picked up a fax the academy was sent, with photos of the place the girls had been found by the police. “That’s horrible…” she commented, horrified.

Cordelia sighed, and nodded – lifting the phone receiver when it rang once again. “One moment, please” she said, and then placed the receiver against her chest. She pointed at a pile of files, and then addressed Misty. “Bring those to Zoe and Queenie, tell them to catalogue them by priorities and tell them to go and fetch the new ones as soon as they can”, she didn’t wait for Misty’s reply, but she returned to her phone call. “Here I am, I’m sorry for making you wait…”

Misty lifted the heavy pile of files and headed towards the door; there were going to be a lot of stuff to do in the following days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are!  
> I hope you liked this chapter. From the next one (the Queen's croquet ground) things will be different. Chapters 10 to 13 are my faves, can't tell you why, but I hope you'll enjoy them as well.  
> Thank you so much for reading, if you want you can leave a comment!
> 
> PS_ I wanted to say hi to my friend Diana, she is amazing and I love her :) thank you honey for reading my story! You're one of the reasons I keep writing this!!!


	10. The Queen's croquet ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bedelia recieves an invitation to a dinner party.

The phone line of the academy was always busy and Bedelia was starting to get very scared. She couldn’t reach her sister, or Alice and she didn’t know what was going on.

Breathing hard, she tried for the fifth time to call Cordelia, but she only reached her voicemail. Last time she heard from her was last morning, after Alice had left. She found out that a little girl had actually joined the Coven recently, but Cordelia didn’t know anything about her being held captive.

She was supposed to talk to her and call her back, but she never did.

When Bedelia finally decided to go out and visit the academy to understand what was going on, she got dressed quickly and left. She didn’t get far, because of what she found on her door mat: a blank white envelope.

She picked it up reluctantly, and closed her door. In her kitchen there were still the empty vials that she emptied in the sink after Alice left, the previous day.

Bedelia placed the white envelope on the counter, and her heart started racing. She was scared to know what was inside.

She knew Hannibal and Will were aware of her previous position – but there was no way they knew where she was now… at least she believed that to be so.

It was stupid, being afraid of a piece of paper. It wasn’t going to kill her.

She ripped the seal in a rush, without thinking any further – ignoring the nausea caught in her throat and the lump in her stomach.

Inside the envelope, there were two objects. One was a polaroid, the other a short letter that looked like an invitation.

With trembling hands, Bedelia turned the polaroid to see a picture of Alice – wrists and ankles tied – gagged, sitting on a chair. She couldn’t look at it any longer, so she put it back in the envelope and picked up the note.

It was indeed an invitation, she recognised Hannibal’s handwriting. There was an address, the current date and an hour of the night – and the indication to wear something elegant for the occasion.

* * *

Will Graham was standing silently, resting his shoulder against the doorframe of the guestroom; Bedelia’s patient – still catatonic – was sitting on a chair. Her hands and ankles weren’t tied up anymore, there was no need of keeping her that way, since she seemed to be on another planet.

Hannibal had fun dressing her like a living doll and now he was brushing her hair, preparing her for that night’s special event. He still had to start cooking the dinner, it was almost time.

“She doesn’t seem the ruthless killer you described to me, Will” said Hannibal with a trace of mocking in his voice. “In fact, she seems more like a frightened child”.

The girl’s eyes moved for the first time, and she fixed her glare on Hannibal. Will scoffed. “Looks like she’s finally here” he pushed himself into the room, walking slowly towards the pair. “We’re gonna have fun tonight, there’s no need to worry” that wasn’t meant to sound like a reassurance – he didn’t like the girl and he wasn’t doing anything to hide it. There was something wrong about her, he couldn’t tell what – and he was surprised Hannibal didn’t have the same feeling.

Or maybe he was, only he didn’t care – or worse, he did care and was actually curious to find out what was wrong with her. That, according to Will, was the worst case scenario – since the last thing they needed was to draw attention on themselves.

The girl’s stare was now on him and it felt disturbing. Her huge green eyes were emotionless and cold, they were studying him and for a moment he was sure he felt her stare was scratching the back of his skull. Was she a witch too? Could she do that?

He wanted to go, he didn’t want to look at her any longer. “I’m gonna go check on the other two”, Will excused himself, leaving Hannibal and the girl alone.

Once the door was closed, Hannibal stopped brushing her hair and started braiding it, in two, long braids. “You used to wear your hair styled this way when we first met” he said, even if she didn’t seem to be listening. “I don’t think you remember. It’s been almost a month, you accidentally bumped into me at the pharmacy”.

Hannibal drew the reminiscence from his memory palace – he replayed their first meeting like a record inside his mind, and he could see new details he didn’t seem to have noticed the first time.

She was wearing jeans and a light blue blouse, her hair was styled in two braids – one slightly shorter than the other, she probably braided them without looking in the mirror. The air was cold, but she wasn’t wearing a coat; her shoes were worn out, she didn’t wear any make up.

Her hands smelled like vanilla soap, now they smelled like blood – even if he had washed them to clean her up.

When she helped him pick up his purchase from the ground, her nails were slightly bitten. Hannibal took one of her hands in his own and studied the state of it now; she still had some dirt under the nails, they were slightly longer – she didn’t take care of them.

He decided that he couldn’t allow her to attend their party in such poor condition – so he gathered his tools, and started to file her nails. She let him do it without even blinking, but he wasn’t worried.

“You know, Alice” he said, without looking up – focusing on filing every nail in the exact same shape, “What you did in the pit, last night, saved not only your life but probably also the life of those little girls” for a brief moment, when he saw the state those children were in, the memory of his sister Mischa flashed inside his brain, pushing against every other irrational thought, and the eyes of the girl he handed the knife to reminded him incredibly of the little deer he saw dead in the snow, the day his sister died.

He would have probably killed the man himself if Alice wouldn’t have done it first. “They are safe now, I called the police”.

Once he was done with her hands, she lifted them against his expectations, and examined his work. She stayed quiet for a while, then she spoke with a dull, austere voice and her features remained still. “Are you going to kill someone and feed them to us?”

Hannibal put away the tools he used to do her nails. “Yes,” he replied casually. “there was a man and a woman helping the doctor and I cannot let them get away”.

Alice looked down, noticing the dress she was wearing, then she carefully touched her hair, softly tracing the line of her braids. “Would you mind showing me how you do it?”

* * *

Inside the spacious bathroom, Hannibal was standing in front of the bathtub with a big white apron that covered his expansive clothes, and a long sharp knife in his hand.

Above the bathtub there was a strong metallic bar to which the blonde woman and the man had been hanged upside down – by their ankles. Their faces were purple, their eyes vacant because of the heavy sedatives Will had injected them with.

Alice was standing beside Will, and he was keeping a suspicious eye on her. He didn’t trust her at all – he saw what she was capable of. She killed her mother in front of his eyes, without showing any signs of hesitation, for all he knew, she might have snapped at any moment.

Will looked at the two people hanging upside down – they looked like chicken waiting to be slaughtered.

Hannibal didn’t usually kill his victims this way, if he could avoid it. That way involved a lot of blood, and a mess to clean up later. He tended to brake their necks quick and clean – but he probably wanted to impress their guest and Will was actually curious to see what her reaction would be.

“Once the carotid artery is torn, they will bleed to death, I was thinking about making a dessert with their blood” Hannibal explained, in the same voice he would have explained a philosophical matter to a student’s class.

Will recognised the _contrappasso_ in what he was doing. They had harvested and sold the blood of those children and now they were going to use their blood to make a chocolate cake.

As he lifted the blade to the woman’s neck, she moved her eyes and opened her mouth – but only a whine came out.

Alice remained still as he used the knife to slit through the woman’s throat and she started bleeding profusely, her body started to convulse, with blood in her throat she gargled, agonisingly.

Will stayed focus on Alice’s reactions – she seemed surprisingly calm. Her eyes were fixed on the woman, her shoulders were relaxed, her feet steady. She didn’t avert her eyes, even when the woman died, Alice’s head was high with an almost regal attitude in her glare.

Then Hannibal shook his hands, warming up his muscles and a few drops of blood flew through the room, landing in different places. Will was hit in the face by a single drop and he pretended not to notice, the same happened with Alice – her white dress got stained and she lowered her eyes, looking at the tiny red dot that was expanding on the fabric.

When she lifted her head again, Will’s breath got stuck in his throat – her eyes had changed, he could _feel_ it. He opened his mouth, confused, but he couldn’t say anything because Alice stepped forward, tapping lightly on Hannibal’s shoulder.

She looked different – an entirely different person and Will was uncomfortable with that. She wasn’t acting stiff anymore, she was swaying childishly back and forth, on her feet and her head was slightly crooked to one side.

Hannibal turned his head to her, and she stopped tapping on his shoulder. “May I?” she asked, extending her arm palm up, obviously asking for the knife. Hannibal stayed quiet, he seemed to be studying her for a moment.

Will saw an interested look in the other man’s eyes as he offered her the blade. “Sure,” he said and stepped back, leaving her enough room to swing the knife and weight it, “help yourself”.

Alice smiled happily at him. “Thank you,” her voice had changed too. It was disturbing – _she_ was disturbing.

After what he saw, the way she had killed her mother and the way she was acting during the death of the other woman, Will was expecting something from her, now that she had the knife in her hands.

And yet she surprised him; Alice smiled widely to the man hanging upside down – he was almost unconscious by now – and then she traced his cheek with the point of the blade. “You know,” she said, turning her head to Hannibal first and then to Will, “I had a friend once, the Hatter, he used to do this kind of stuff all the time and we had a lot of fun together” she smiled sadly, sighing with a melancholic look in her eyes, “but now he’s dead. Someone killed him and I couldn’t do anything to save him…” she poked at the man’s eyes with the blade and Will cringed.

“Hannibal…” he warned him, but he lifted his hand to silent him.

Alice continued. “I died too, once. But the Supreme Witch brought me back” she laughed, then she turned sad all of a sudden and she looked scared when she retrieved the knife, “oh, it was awful… it was an endless darkness. I hope you enjoy dark places…” she said to the man, and then she started to hum _Twinkle Twinkle Little Star_. Just a moment later she stabbed the man in the trachea, dragging the blade down and ending up making a mess everywhere.

Will felt a painful sting inside his head, it was like his brain was going to explode. He was sweating, he could hear his heart beating faster. He was processing the information quickly, it was confusing and unusual, but he thought he got it now. “Hannibal,” he repeated, the voice stuck in his throat, he had to swallow hard, “I think she’s more than one person. I—” he blinked repeatedly, trying to breath normally, but it was hard, “I don’t understand how she does the things that she does”.

She left the blade stuck inside the man’s jaw, and stepped back – the dress was stained, but she seemed to worry about swiping her hands on it. She looked at Hannibal as if waiting for permission.

Hannibal went to the drawer under the sink and retrieved a towel; he turned his head to Will with a satisfied smile on his lips. “Took you long enough to notice that” he said, and placed the clean towel on Alice’s bloody hands, helping her to clean herself. “You’re losing it”.

Will felt extremely touched by that accusation. “You _knew_ it?” his voice sounded calmer than he actually was.

“That she had Dissociative Identity Disorder? Yes,” he replied, putting both hands on Alice’s shoulders, walking her by the sink, where he started to wash her hands. Alice kept shifting her eyes from her hands to Hannibal’s face – she seemed pretty confused. “I figured it out when you told me how she changed during her attack on her mother and then the way she acted with you – the changing of her accent gave it away, honestly”.

Will didn’t know what to say – he already didn’t like her, now that he knew what she was, he liked her even less.

When Hannibal finished washing the blood from her hands and face, he gestured Will to take her hand. “Please, walk her to the guestroom, she needs to get a change of clothes before dinner. I have to clean up here and start cooking”.

Refusing to touch her skin, Will grabbed her forearm and almost dragged her away.

* * *

Bedelia was on time, as usual. She was dressed in her best dress, long and black – with a deep v neck and a bare back.

She decided not to use her cane, she didn’t want to show weakness. There was the possibility that she wouldn’t come out alive of this situation, if she was going to die, she was doing it with dignity.

It almost felt like an out of body experience, she couldn’t believe she was actually waiting in Hannibal’s lobby, waiting for her host – Will Graham staring at her with a glass of wine in his hands, just like the time he enjoyed the show of her leg being cut off.

Hannibal smiled at her when he arrived, dressed with an elegant suit, but she didn’t return the smile. She was trying to look calm, but her heart was racing and her hands were sweating.

They escorted her into the living room, where the lights were dim and a small table had been set with a pompous style; empty plates were awaiting.

Will shifted her chair to make space for her to sit when Hannibal disappeared and returned with Alice. For a moment, Bedelia’s heart missed a beat, she felt relieved – Alice was alive… but then she looked closer, and she noticed that she wasn’t Alice at all. She wondered if Hannibal had figured out Alice’s secret.

In that instant, Bedelia felt more lost than ever. If Hannibal had her, there was no way he would let her go. She was probably like an endangered animal in his eyes, but he didn’t want to protect her – he wanted to add her to his collection.

Alice’s eyes were fixed on her while Hannibal served the first course. Meat, of course with some sauce and grilled vegetables. The way Alice smiled at him, tasting the first bite, disturbed Bedelia deep to the core.

Bedelia ate in silence, she had no idea what was going to happen or what she was going to do if they decided to act right after dinner.

She wasn’t even sedated but she felt more constricted than ever. It wasn’t just her survival and safety she was worried about – Alice was involved too, every action she made, would reflect on her too, and she didn’t want to risk her life.

“I would love to know how you managed to leave, last time…” Hannibal started the conversation, pouring wine into her glass, and she took it without thinking – he would have never poisoned the food or the beverages. “We were both surprised, when we couldn’t find you,” he added, turning his head to Will, and starting to fill up his glass too.

So they didn’t know she had powers – that was good, the first good news of the day. Bedelia exchanged a look with Alice, and she found a slightly different light in her eyes – she frowned imperceptibly, and looked immediately away. “The instinct of survival, Hannibal…” she said, looking at Will, “can make people capable of things they would never imagine”.

“I don’t want to die” said Alice all of a sudden, and three pair of eyes turned to her, finding her with her head lowered. “It’s awful… and scary”.

Hannibal sighed, lifting his glass and tasting his wine. “We all have to die, Alice… eventually”.

Alice raised her head and smiled at him. “The Hatter used to ask something of me,” she said and looked at Will and Bedelia, with the same look on her face. “He used to ask me to believe in six impossible things before going to bed, he believed that would help me sleep”.

“And what kind of things would you believe in?” asked Hannibal in a sympathetic voice.

Placing down her silverware, Alice cleared her throat and shrugged. “One, ghosts are real. Two, I died and was resurrected. Three, animals can talk. Four, we made chocolate out of blood. Five, I met someone who can really understand me…” she took her time, thinking about the last one and she exchanged another look with Bedelia, this time the different light in her eyes was evident and Alice smiled with a little more fondness, “Six, knives can fly”.

It took Bedelia several seconds to understand what she was actually implying.

 _Knives can fly_.

She blinked slowly, and all the forks and knives on the table snapped in a vertical position, then they started floating in the air and a second later there was a silver knife stuck in Will Graham’s shoulder and a fork stabbed Hannibal’s hand.

Sounds of pain filled the room, but hope and relief didn’t last for long – as Will Graham extracted the knife out of his shoulder and grabbed Bedelia’s hair with force; the pain inside her head was nothing compared with the dreadful fear that was consuming her soul in that precise moment. She saw herself dead – it wasn’t enough, she wasn’t powerful enough; she couldn’t defeat them.

Bedelia grabbed his wrist, wriggling and panting, but Will pulled at her hair with force, hitting her head against the table and all the alive cutlery died as she lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first one of what will be a series of unfortunate chapters. (puns intended LOL)  
> Next one will be called: a mad tea party.  
> I let you imagine what is coming next ;)


	11. A mad tea party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bedelia desperately tries to fight back, and Hannibal has a gift for Alice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: triggering material in the end.

Hannibal’s living room was still a graveyard of forks, knives, spoons and shattered glass and porcelain.

There was dry blood encrusted on the floor, and the once white table cloth was stained irremediably. Hannibal’s hand was wrapped in medical gauze and he was treating Will’s shoulder.

The sofa wasn’t probably the best makeshift hospital bed but they had to make do with what they had.

The needle pierced Will’s skin and Hannibal cut the thread, making sure that the stitches were fine. “Stay still,” he ordered in a concerned voice; he disinfected the wound and carefully wrapped his shoulder in gauze.

Alice was sitting at the table – her chair was turned to face the sofa, she was swinging her feet back and forth, holding onto the seat. “Bedelia’s aim sucks” she commented, in a childish tone. “I mean, she could have killed you in an instant – eyes, heart… nope, hand and shoulder. Looks like she didn’t even try!” with a small laugh, she jumped off the chair and started wondering around, peeking through Hannibal’s and Will’s stuff.

Will lowered his voice, so that only Hannibal could hear him. “How long are we going to keep her alive?”

“You really don’t like her, do you?” Hannibal’s voice was almost indecipherable. The question wasn’t one of disappointment or amusement, it wasn’t  even a real question – it was rhetorical, a statement. “We’re not going to kill her yet, Will. She amuses me, I want to find out how many people she has inside of her head…”

“Then put her in a room and study her, don’t let her wander around… you’ve seen what she can do” Will was worried, and for a good reason. It seemed to him that he was the only one thinking straight in that room.

Hannibal smiled, he probably found Will’s concern very funny. “If I secured her in a room as you’re suggesting, she would lock herself in a shell and only the protector would come out. I have already met her protector, I want to meet the other alters”.

Once he was done, there was something else he had to take care of. Bedelia was sleeping on an armchair next to the sofa, heavily sedated with her hands tied together behind her back, and her fake leg removed – he still didn’t know what to do with her – but he had two corpses inside his bathroom. He had to chop them up and put them in plastic bags – Will would dump them in the lake that night, the alligators will do the rest. In a normal situation, he would have done something with the bodies, but they were keeping a low profile, and so, getting rid of the bodies was required.

* * *

Will waited in the living room, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. He kept an eye on Alice, who was still looking around touching everything she could find and regarding Bedelia – she had regained consciousness and was now breathing through her nose, fighting the sedative he had already injected her twice with since she woke up.

Keeping her from using her unexpected magic was his first worry now. He would have never imagined she was able to do such things, that – of course – explained a lot of things.

He tried to suggest several times to kill both of them and end it there and then, but Hannibal thought otherwise, believing it to be a really bad idea – and there was no chance of changing Hannibal’s mind.

The door of the bathroom opened and both Alice and Will turned their heads towards it. Hannibal left the room dragging two big, black, plastic bags. With a smile, Alice joined her hands under her chin and when he dropped the bags next to the door, and a foot escaped from the bag, her smile widened.

“Can I play with it?” she asked, rushing to the foot, picking it up. It was a female foot, still in its shoe – surgically cut at the ankle.

“Only until Will takes out the garbage” said Hannibal, in an almost fatherly voice. Was he going insane? What was he thinking about?

Alice seemed head over hills with the idea of a new toy. She started walking around the room with the foot in her hand, waving it as if it was a plastic doll. She was completely mad…

She stopped by the open window and looked out, for a moment she seemed focused on something, thoughtful even. Then she laughed lightly and throw the foot out of the window, and turned to Will. “Oops…” she said, chuckling.

Groaning in frustration, Will stood up and rushed to the front door, leaving and starting to run to retrieve the foot before anyone could see it.

Alice kept giggling even when Hannibal joined her by the window, without speaking a word. His face wasn’t mad, not even concerned, it was completely blank.

He kept a careful eye on the street beneath the window, and he checked Alice with the corner of his eyes when she leaned over the window, looking down to get a better view of Will looking around to find a severed foot.

It was only an instant, Hannibal got distracted for a split second and he felt tiny hands pushing him surprisingly hard, and almost pushing him out of the window. He was prompt enough to widen his arms and hold tight in the window frame, keeping himself balanced.

He spun around quickly, gripping at Alice hands in his own and sliding an arm around her shoulders. He lifted her without any effort, placing a hand around her neck and keeping her from touching the ground.

They didn’t even make a sound, Alice was wiggling silently fighting for air and he was holding her with a serious face, looking at Bedelia.

Bedelia’s eyes were slightly wider than usual, she was confused but worried.

When Alice stopped wiggling and her arms fell limp, he lifted her body bridal style and carried her out of the living room.

Will opened the front door in that moment, holding the foot and ignoring Alana’s happy squeals of welcoming. He looked briefly at Alice in Hannibal’s arms and sighed. “Is she dead?” he asked, without even bothering for explanations.

Hannibal shook his head, “No, but her pulse is weak” he said and carried her into the guest room, leaving her on the bed.

* * *

Waking up was hard, Alice was sore and tired. Her mind was clouded, but she could hear voices around her. She recognised Will Graham’s voice – he was complaining about something – and then Hannibal’s voice, telling him to be calm.

Then they stopped, probably realising she was awake.

The first thing she saw, were Hannibal’s eyes and she felt them inside her head. “You’re awake. How do you feel?” he asked and sat beside her.

Alice was uncomfortable with their proximity, she had to play nice. “I’m fine… I’m sorry” she said, breathing hard – her throat was hurting badly, she tried to touch her skin, it was hot and swollen.

“You weren’t very nice, before” Hannibal pointed out.

“Hannibal…” Will’s voice was tired, but Hannibal looked at him.

“Will, please leave us alone for a moment”.

He seemed pretty happy to do so – he didn’t like her one bit, it was evident. Alice was quite disappointed, people usually weren’t _so_ hostile towards her. She looked like a nice girl, pretty and cute… they usually had a nicer approach with her, it was like Will could see behind her masks, she didn’t like the idea, it made her feel wrong.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated once she and Hannibal were alone. She tried to sit up, but her head was hurting badly.

“You have to rest” said Hannibal, “don’t worry, you’ll feel fine in a day or so” he gave her a glass of water and two blue pills.

“What is it?” asked Alice, hoping it wasn’t poison – she was done with poison.

Hannibal smiled, placing the empty glass on the floor. “Valium, it will help you sleep better”.

Alice felt relieved, she settled against the pillow and stared at the ceiling. “I didn’t try to push you out of the window, I swear” she said, looking Hannibal in the eyes and he seemed to believe her.

“Will you tell me who it was, then?” that question surprised her, but she breathed through her nose, trying to be calm.

Alice nodded, starting to feel even more tired. “The Rabbit,” she said, “he was trying to protect me. He doesn’t like what you did to Bedelia neither…” her voice was sleepy and distant, it sounded funny. “The Hatter pushed my father out of a window” she didn’t know why she told him, maybe it was the medicine that made her feel light headed.

“Do you know how to switch from one person to another, Alice?” asked Hannibal.

She didn’t know how he knew, but she nodded. “But I can’t when I am stressed… I was very stressed before”.

“There’s no need to be. I won’t hurt you… or Bedelia” this time she didn’t believe him, but pretended to. “Who killed the man in the bathroom?”

“The Hare… he likes to kill people for fun” she answered.

“Can you make him come back?” he seemed very curious about the Hare, Alice wondered why.

For a moment, she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want the Hare to come back, but it was safer. The Hare liked Hannibal, he would never do something stupid that could put herself or Bedelia in danger, he would probably just do what Hannibal asked him to.

Alice closed her eyes, starting to listen to the voices inside her head.

Once again, she heard the Queen of Hearts screaming – it was clearer now. She heard new voices too, a child and a deep, comforting voice. She didn’t know who they were.

Then she found him, the Hare – he was blabbering about heads and feet, and knives, and tea.

He didn’t want to reveal himself, though… maybe he thought that by doing so, Hannibal would have hurt her. She had to force him.

Thinking about blood, and killing people. Thinking about all the bad stuff that sometimes popped inside her mind, but she knew they were wrong.

And then she started to hum _Twinkle Twinke Little Bat_ , and the deed was done. That always worked.

* * *

Hannibal payed attention, and he noticed Alice’s pupils changing when she switched. It was extremely fascinating.

She lifted her head and looked at him with a confused look in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said and her voice was sweeter and more singsong, “that obnoxious Rabbit is a killjoy” she smiled, sighing happily and closing her eyes. “Can we kill Bedelia now?” she asked, falling asleep with a smile on her face.

He needed to write down his thoughts about Alice…

Recalling what she had told him while they were making the chocolate, she had stayed in a mental hospital for only a few weeks before the famous Hatter broke her out.

He remembered something he saw on the television, about a serial killer’s methods that could be related to him, perhaps. He had to look through some old newspapers, probably.

It was almost a miracle that she survived that long in his company. According to her the Rabbit had killed him, and her parents too… she told him how Bedelia unlocked some memories… but probably he wasn’t supposed to think about her as Alice, he had barley talked to Alice.

The Hare seemed to be very enraged with the Rabbit. He wondered how Alice felt about having two people that hated each other, constantly fighting. He wasn’t surprised she had those kind of outbursts.

* * *

Bedelia was awake, but she felt like she was dreaming. And it was a nightmare.

The room was dark, it was spinning and changing around her – she felt nauseous and confused; whatever that was that Will Graham gave her, it was very strong.

She saw what happened, she saw how Alice – or whoever she was – tried to push Hannibal out of the window, and failed. She saw how he strangled her, and she had no idea if she was still alive or not.

Not knowing was killing her, so, when she heard a door opening and saw Alice’s petite figure tiptoeing towards her, unsure on her feet, she felt a wave of relief invading her body.

For the second time, relief turned into anxiety when she noticed the blade Alice was holding.

When would the torture end?

“Please,” she pleaded in a whisper, “Alice, don’t…” staying focused was hard, the drug was still in her system – she had no idea how long she was unconscious, she didn’t know what day it was or the time.

Alice chuckled, playing with the knife. “Alice’s not here” she said, and stopped in front of her. “Hannibal doesn’t want me to kill you yet, but I really want to cut off your tongue and tear your eyes out”.

The light in her eyes was mean and dangerous, Bedelia turned her head from her, but she felt the cold blade against the skin of her neck and she stopped breathing. “Alice…”

“Here comes Johnny” the Hare chuckled, pushing the blade further and it stung.

Bedelia closed her eyes, thinking about the things that Alice once told her about death. Was she going to become a ghost or was she going to be trapped inside the bottomless pit? Alice would have died knowing what she’d done.

Trying hard to focus, Bedelia created a weak wave of energy that pushed Alice away; she lost her balance and fell to the ground, the knife made a metallic sound when it reached the floor.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Alice giggling on the ground. She seemed surprised by that turn of events. She picked up the blade and got to her feet, looking at her with a murderous glare. “Do it again, harder this time” she demanded, lifting the blade with the sharp end pointing at her own neck. “Do it, kill her” she smiled, challenging her.

Bedelia didn’t want to kill her, but she knew that it was Alice or herself. She was about to do it, and she was going to be the one dying of regrets – when Hannibal appeared out of nowhere, calling for Alice and she stopped.

“You’ve just got lucky,” said Alice, lowering the blade and tottering happily towards Hannibal, disappearing into the dark corridor.

Bedelia breathed a sigh of relief, letting her head fall back, resting it against the back of the armchair. She needed to get away, she needed a plan – maybe she could try and talk to Alice.

* * *

“I have a gift for you,” Hannibal’s voice sounded happy when he delivered the box to Alice.

She smiled widely, apparently she really liked presents. It was a box wrapped meticulously in blue shiny paper, and she ripped it quickly – revealing the actual box.

Inside, she found a beautiful toy.

With teary eyes, Alice lifted her hand, she seemed almost scared to touch it. She wasn’t smiling anymore, she wasn’t even breathing.

“I— how did you know it?” she asked and Hannibal thought that she was her true self again, because the Hare had spoken about it and now she clearly didn’t remember.

“Come on, pick it up” he said, casually – happy with her reaction.

Alice placed a hand on the red, velvet vest – she lightly traced the fabric of the green, plaid jacket. Her fingers brushed the white fur, caressing the little, shiny black eyes.

She lifted the stuffed rabbit extremely carefully, as if it was made of thin glass. She looked at it, her cheeks were flushed and her bottom lip trembled. She hugged it, and a sob escaped her mouth. “It looks exactly the same…”

Hannibal was overly proud of himself, he couldn’t hide a smug smile from his lips. He crossed his legs and leant into the sofa. “I have found a picture in an old newspaper, regarding the assassination of your parents and your picture was inside the article” he explained, “you were holding it tight… I gave the picture to a tailor and asked him to make one identical to that one”.

Alice was now a mess of tears and she couldn’t stop sobbing and shaking, she dipped her face into the rabbit’s fur, inhaling deeply. “Thank you…” she said in a small voice.

“You’re welcome…” Hannibal turned his head towards the front door when it opened, and smiled at Will.

He entered the room with Alana behind him, and looked at Alice with confusion. “What happened?” he asked, placing his coat and Alana’s leash on the hanger behind the door.

“Hannibal gave me the best present in the world” Alice smiled happily, and extended her arms towards Will, holding the stuffed animal.

“It’s a plush…” he noted, unimpressed.

Alice’s face darkened and she put on a pouty expression. “It’s my rabbit” she said and stood up, offended. She left the room, heading towards the guest room – that was her room now and slammed the door behind her.

Hannibal shifted in his seat, amused. “I think you have offended her”.

“She’s not a child, Hannibal” Will noted, letting Alana out of her dog harness – and then he added in a casual tone. “And she’s not Abigail”.

“I know,” Will’s tone wasn’t unnoticed by Hannibal, but he decided that he didn’t want to have that conversation now. He needed time to explain to Will what he intended to do with Alice, and Will wasn’t in the right state of mind now. “I told you, she amuses me”.

Alana started to run, over excited to be home again and then she stopped, and left the room in a rush.

A few moments later, she started barking at something, and whining.

Will got to his feet and left the room, worried that something had happened to his dog, complaining about how if Alice was somehow responsible, he would kill her.

Hannibal followed him walking slowly and they stopped in front of Alice’s room. Alana was barking at her door, scraping at it with her front paws.

“You want to go inside?” Will asked her, and knocked on the door.

When he received no answer, Hannibal got worried and tried to open the door unsuccessfully – it was locked from the inside.

He and Will exchanged a look, and without talking aloud, the agreement was done.

Will knelt down, picking up the little Corgi, and Hannibal started hitting the door with his shoulder, until it succumbed under his weight.

Alice was on the floor, there was a wide pool of blood expanding beneath her body – the stuffed rabbit was on the bed, there were glass shards on the ground next to it and she was holding a big sharp piece of it in the right hand – and there was a deep vertical gush into her left wrist.

Without losing time, Hannibal took his jacket off, and reached Alice in two long steps. He knelt beside her and used the fabric of his jacked as a bandage. He covered the deep cut and knotted the sleeve around her wrist, not too tightly. He then proceeded to lift her body from the ground and placed her onto the bed. He checked for her pulse, it was extremely weak, but it was there.

Alice’s eyes fluttered open for a brief moment, her gaze was clouded. “I didn’t—” she tried to speak, but her voice didn’t come out.

“Don’t talk,” Hannibal told her in a very calm voice, he was keeping her wounded arm lifted –holding her hand – above her heart, trying to prevent any other considerate blood loss. Every movement was calculated and precise.

Alice didn’t listen, she lifted her other hand and closed her bloody fingers around Hannibal’s wrist. “I didn’t do it…” she managed to say.

Will joined them, still holding the dog and he looked at her with a disgusted expression on his face. “Just let her die”.

Hannibal ignored him, he held Alice’s wrist with one hand and used the other to adjust her head on the pillow. “Try to stay focused, listen to my voice and hold onto it” he said, always calm and peaceful.

Closing her eyes, and breathing slowly, Alice let go of Hannibal’s hand and reached for her stuffed rabbit. “I didn’t try to kill myself,” she repeated, “he said it was the only way… I didn’t want to do it but I believed him” she sounded desperate, “he was lying… he lied to me” tears left the corners of her eyes, and rolled down onto the pillow.

She sobbed quietly for a moment, and then she stopped.


	12. Pig and pepper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet another alter, and Bedelia's first try to escape doesn't go as planned.

Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies looked like a kindergarten – or an elementary school.

Twenty-three new young witches from ages five to ten had been hosted by the Supreme Witch and Headmistress Cordelia Foxx during the last  week – and she was having a really hard time finding a place for all of them.

All the teachers, older students, servants – and ghosts – were helping Cordelia to deal with the new, unexpected situation.

The police had brought the children all of a sudden, after all the phone calls and she was now trying to figure out who the children were – their names, their stories… and possibly their families.

Some parents had already been there, looking for their daughters – and the Supreme had already contacted the local TV station and the papers to get all the help she could.

Her sister and Alice were still missing and she tried to look for them, but with the emergency at the academy, it was hard to take care of everything.

Zoe and Queenie had left, she sent them to look for information and they were constantly away; they went to the abandoned shack, for the young witches, and they also went to Bedelia’s apartment.

The shack was a complete waste of time; it was clear that they hadn’t been there for very long. There were several bags already packed, whoever lived there was about to leave at any moment.

The police found a body in a dirty pit, apparently he was the man responsible for the kidnappings but he had at least one accomplice for sure – the police was still looking for them.

How he died was still unclear, a few of the children claimed to have seen an angel, others were still too scared to talk. There was one little girl, Fabilla, she seemed to be one of the oldest – she told the police she hit the man, but it was very unlikely that a small thing like her was able to kill a grown man. It was probable that she was just shocked and full of rage, since the police found her with her lips sewn together – Cordelia helped with her healing, but she still had the scars.

Bedelia’s apartment was empty – all of her personal effects were still there, but she was nowhere to be found and by the state of the place, it was obvious that she had been missing for several days.

Blue felt responsible because he told her he sent Alice to look for her sister and she never came back – Cordelia tried to comfort him, but he was edgy and twitchy and she couldn’t deal with him right now.

* * *

The smell of eggs and bacon woke her up – Alice opened her lids and a bright light hurt her eyes. She wasn’t dead, she wasn’t lost into the endless darkness.

Her heart felt lighter, a smile crept onto her lips. A twinge on the back of her hand warned her that something wasn’t right, and she lifted her head from the pillow.

The room was tidy and it smelled very nice, of coffee and breakfast.

Bedelia was peacefully sleeping on another bed, on the other side of the room; Alice didn’t want to wake her up, so she slowly sat up. A needle was stuck inside the back of her hand, it was connected to a tiny plastic tube – how was it possible? She wasn’t in a hospital, why would she be attached to an IV?

Slowly extracting the needle, Alice cringed and bit her lips – ignoring the discomfort that the process caused her.

Liquid started spilling out and she ignored it; she looked for her stuffed rabbit and she found it close to her. She hugged it, dipping her face in its fur as usual – it didn’t smell like the old one, but it was still new, with time it would have smelled better.

Hugging the toy, Alice noticed the white and tight bandage around her wrist. She touched the surface of the dressing with the tips of her fingers. What had happened?

As memories started to flow slowly to her mind, a wave of sadness hit her and she held her rabbit tighter, breathing hard.

Quiet at first, a voice was whispering things inside her head, it became more audacious by the second. Alice couldn’t understand what the voice was saying, but it was childish and singsong. It was a child, and this child was reciting a nursery rhyme.

She stopped, intending to listen to it; closing her eyes Alice focused on that single voice she had never heard before, curious to know what it was trying to tell her.

* * *

Hannibal was in the kitchen, he was cooking breakfast. Will and Alana were out for their morning walk, but they would be back home very soon.

The house was silent and quiet, it hadn’t been that way for almost a week now. Bedelia was giving them a lot of trouble. He didn’t like the idea of keeping her heavily sedated all the time, but it was necessary since they had no control over her abilities.

Alice’s life was out of danger; she had been unconscious for four days straight and he had to use an IV to keep her well fed and hydrated. After the fourth day, she began going in and out of consciousness, it was just a matter of time now. She was a very strong and healthy young woman, she’d been very lucky.

Will didn’t like having her around; she was a mystery to him  and Hannibal couldn’t blame him. But she was also very intriguing – her mind was a challenge, a riddle to solve, and he was going to solve it.

During those days, they needed a distraction and Alice was just perfect for that purpose.

As for Bedelia, he hadn’t decided yet what to do with her. He thought he wanted to finish what he had started almost a year before, but now… he just didn’t know.

He had fun tracking her down, trying to figure out how she escaped, and now that he had all the answers, she just wasn’t that amusing anymore. He actually felt very disappointed by her – she had become a funny excuse of herself. Addicted to alcohol and drugs, her mind wasn’t as sharp as it used to be – she was ruining herself with her own hands, it was almost a crime.

His thoughts were interrupted by a figure standing by the doorframe – for a moment he believed it was Will, but then a sweet smell of vanilla reached his nostrils and he knew it was Alice without even looking up.

Hannibal smiled, mixing the eggs with a wooden fork. “Hello,” he said in a cheerful voice. “How are you feeling?”

Alice’s footsteps were steady but light, unsure. “I’m hungry” she said and her voice sounded incredibly different. Hannibal raised his gaze, lowering the flame under the eggs. Alice looked the same, but she was chewing nervously at her bottom lip, holding her stuffed rabbit as if it was her safety net.

Looking for a plate, Hannibal took out a bottle of white pills form inside a drawer and put it in his pocket, he then placed the eggs and bacon on the porcelain plate. “I have just made breakfast,” he told her, gesturing her to sit by the counter.

“No, no pepper!” she quickly reached forward to stop his hand when he was about to pour just a little spice to the eggs. Hannibal’s lips curled as he smiled to himself, but he put down the pepper mill. The girl looked relieved. “I don’t like pepper…” she whispered, as if it was a secret, then she moved slowly and shyly, keeping an eye on him with a curious look on her face. He wondered how many people were inside her head, he had counted at least three.

“What’s your name?” Hannibal asked her, when she was settled with her plate before her.

Confusion filled her eyes for a moment, then she lowered her head, stroking the fur of her toy extremely fondly. “I’m Rose,” she answered, picking up a fork and staring at it – as if she didn’t know how to use it.

Helping her to pick up a piece of scrambled eggs, Hannibal fed her. She let him do it, crossing her eyes, trying to follow the trace of the fork. “How old are you, Rose?” he asked, slicing the bacon for her.

Alice lifted her right hand and she started counting her fingers, when she realised she needed her other hand, she put the rabbit on her lap and showed Hannibal six fingers. “I’m this old”.

“Do you know where your parents are, Rose?”

“My Rabbit hurt them” she said calmly, waiting for her next morsel.

Hannibal fed her more eggs, and they stayed quiet until her plate was empty. He didn’t know what her story was yet, but he couldn’t ask her yet. It was possible that being reunited with her old childhood toy – even if it was just a replica – had triggered something inside her mind, forcing her younger self to represent herself with a different name. “And do you know what happened to you?” he asked, pointing at the bandages wrapped around her left wrist.

Lifting her arm, Alice touched the bandages lightly. “My Rabbit lied to Alice,” she said – sadly. “The Queen told her he was lying but she didn’t believe her. She did as the Rabbit told her to do, and now she doesn’t trust him anymore… she feels very lost now, she wants help”.

“I could help her,” said Hannibal, picking out the pills out of his pocket. “If she asks me to”.

Alice stayed quiet a little longer, lowering her gaze and squeezing and twisting the rabbit’s ears in her hands. When she looked up, she stared at him with heavy eyes. “Why should I trust you?” her voice wasn’t childish anymore, the accent was less British.

Putting down the fork, Hannibal filled a big glass with water and put three white pills onto the palm of his hand. “You need to regain your strength,” he told her, offering her the medicine. “These will help”.

Alice’s eyes were fixed on the pills – she looked unsure. “That’s what the Hatter used to give me for breakfast,” she said, “eggs and pills”, the girl sighed – taking the pills and the glass, drinking the water and swallowing her medicine. “Will you help me, please?”

* * *

Cordelia was resting for the first time in days; she was exhausted but happy with the results she managed to achieve.

All the children had been photographed and their picture had been sent to the families they were already in contact with – witchcraft was hereditary, there was the possibility that some of those little girls were related to some fellow members of her Coven.

Those who weren’t too shocked to talk had spoken their names and they could do better research, but some of them wouldn’t speak a word yet – especially the younger ones.

Mary Ann recognised the majority of the girls, but she didn’t know their names – not all of them. She didn’t know Fabilla, but the two were getting along famously. They were about the same age, they had a few things in common – the traumatic experience above all.

Fabilla told her that the man who abducted her was driving a van, he approached her in the school playground and tricked her with the promise of an ice cream – she didn’t know when exactly it happened, but she told her that she was the last one to arrive.

Wanting to do something for her scars, Cordelia left her study and despite the fact that she wanted to rest a bit, she decided that she could relax while making some curative potions…

In the peace of her greenhouse, the Supreme tried several mixtures, none of them were satisfying enough – but, after the fifth try, and almost three hours of playing with her chemistry set, Cordelia believed that she managed to create quite a good potion that would make Fabilla’s scars fade away.

The little girl was in Mary Ann’s room. Edith and Lorina were on the Edit’s bed, drawing something. Fabilla and Mary Ann were on the Lorina’s bed, and they were talking quietly.

“Good morning, girls” Cordelia smiled at them, knocking on the open door with the back of her hand – without entering the room. “May I come in?”

Mary Ann, Edith and Lorina jumped up, formed a line with their hands joined behind their backs and their chins up – Fabilla did the same, with a few seconds delay, imitating the others.

“That’s okay, it’s an informal meeting” Cordelia laughed, smiling kindly and the girls relaxed their shoulders. “Fabilla, I brought this to you… it’s for your scars, it will make them go away”.

The redheadd girl covered her mouth and shook her head. “I don’t want them to go away”.

Surprised by that reaction, the Supreme Witch stayed quiet, staring at her with a confused look in her eyes. She didn’t have time to ask for an explanation, because Mary Ann rolled up her sleeves and extended her arms to her. “Miss Cordelia, can you make these go away, please?”

Looking down, Cordelia noticed for the first time the needle scars that covered the little girl’s arms and she felt like someone punched her in the stomach. She nodded, still speechless.

Opening the little bottle, Cordelia put some brownish liquid on the fingertips of her thumb and index finger – she warmed up the liquid and rubbed it on one of the scars, to test it.

The tiny, swollen, white dot reduced itself to an almost invisible mark, then faded completely. Satisfied with the result, Cordelia did the same with all the other scars and marks, until Mary Ann’s arms were clean and smooth once again.

“Thank you!” she said, with a graceful smile on her lips and Cordelia smiled in return. Then Mary Ann turned to Fabilla, showing her the now completely healed arms. “Why don’t you wanna do it too? Look!”

The other girl shook her head again, looking down. “I want to keep the scars because it was my fault… I shouldn’t have trusted that man”.

Those were heavy words for such a small child. “It wasn’t your fault sweetie,” Cordelia tried to comfort her, placing a hand on her cheek.

Her breath got stuck in her throat, her eyes were blind, she felt like a hand was turning her inside out – then everything stopped and she was somewhere else.

_It was dark and cold, the air smelled badly and she could hear someone crying. Her lips hurt, she was hungry and thirsty._

_A man approached her, holding something in his hands – he wanted her blood, she knew it._

_But then a blonde woman jumped out of nowhere, and she attacked the man with brutal force. She was scared but also relieved._

_She saw the girl stabbing the man in his chest and kept doing it even after he stopped moving._

_The woman stabbed his eyes too and carved something in his face – disfiguring him, then she started sobbing uncontrollably, and drawing back, she fell with her back against the hard rock. She crouched in a corner, rocking herself back and forth, whispering things to herself._

_She believed it was over – she wasn’t going to hurt them. Then another man arrived, he wasn’t alone. There were two of them. She was scared again, but one of them took the blonde woman in his arms and left, and the other took the knife and gave it to her. He called the police, but asked her not to tell anybody._

_She gave the phone to the girl next to her and she told the police what happened and described the place; they were there shortly after, she didn’t know how they found her, but it was finally over…_

_She didn’t feel like it was over, though, she felt guilty and stupid. She wasn’t going to be fooled like that ever again._

Cordelia came back to her senses, and breathed hard – filling her lungs with air. She placed a hand over her chest, feeling her heart racing. Fabilla was in the same condition, she didn’t seem scared. They probably shared the vision, she knew Fabilla was capable of doing it. Feeling her eyes burn, the Supreme knelt down, hugging the little girl in front of her. “I’m sorry, I promise nothing else will happen to you, you’re safe here”.

Closing her eyes, and trying to calm down – Cordelia fought back the nausea that was invading her stomach. It was Alice… she saw her, she didn’t know the other two men, but she wasn’t an idiot and she could only suppose who they were… she needed to do something, and fast.

* * *

Bedelia was resting on a rocking chair by the window, in the living room. She was still sedated, but her mind was starting to come back– she knew soon enough Will would inject her another dose of sedatives, so she was enjoying her last minutes of consciousness.

The view from the window looked pretty, it seemed a nice place to live. She didn’t expect anything different from Hannibal Lecter.

Placing a hand on her stump, Bedelia felt the smooth skin of her thigh and sighed. She knew where her leg was – Hannibal made sure she watched as he placed it in a place she couldn’t reach without help – and there was no one there to help her.

The sound of a door opening reached her ears, and she waited silently but cautiously to discover who it was.

She was surprised when it wasn’t Will, but Alice – or at least she thought it was Alice.

“Is it really you?” she asked, when she realised she couldn’t tell anymore.

She nodded, turning her back to the window and pushing herself up, sitting on the windowsill. Bedelia sighed in relief, letting her head fall against the back of the chair. “We have to get out of here” she breathed those words so as to whisper, afraid someone was listening.

“I can’t trust my Rabbit anymore…” she told her, as if she didn’t even listen to her request.

Bedelia looked up again, Alice was holding a toy – a stuffed rabbit – she didn’t know where she had found it, but she was afraid to know the answer. “Why not?”

Lifting her left arm, Alice showed her a bandage she hadn’t noticed before – it looked terribly like the signs of a suicide attempt. “He did this to me… I don’t want to die, but he did this to me. I can’t trust him anymore”.

Fear filled her chest – she was afraid that the worst thing had happened, she didn’t want the confirmation. “You—” words failed her, she could feel her heart in her throat, “can’t— trust Hannibal”.

“He saved my life,” Alice pronounced those words with the smallest voice, but each one of them felt like she stabbed her with a sharp knife. Bedelia closed her eyes, they were burning behind her closed lids – she could feel the tears forming, ready to be shed. “The Hare likes him,” Alice told her, when she stayed quiet, “I know the Hare is bonkers, I know!” now her voice was louder, but still calm. “But…” she sighed, “he saved my life”.

It happened, the worst case scenario. It was obvious, she thought – it _had_ to happen. “He wants to kill us. He will eat us,” she told Alice, lowering her voice. “He will kill us and feed us to each other”.

Alice shook her head, hugging her rabbit. “He helped me, he’s helping me”.

Bedelia reached for Alice’s hand, trying not to sound desperate. “When the fox hears the rabbit screams, it comes running… but not to help”.

“No,” Alice took her hand back, “he said I was—”

“Don’t let him inside your head,” Bedelia rushed her voice as if she knew she had no time. “Believe me, you don't want Hannibal inside your head,” she closed her eyes, fighting hard against the dizziness. “You amuse him, he thinks you are an interesting game, nothing more”.

Alice kept shaking her head, and hugged her rabbit tighter. “No,” she repeated, “he said he wanted to help me”.

“He asked you to _ask_ for his help, didn’t he?” it was a question, but she asked it as if she knew the answer.

This time Alice nodded, and stayed quiet.

“Hannibal wants control, you are allowing him inside you,” she tried to reach for her again, “he doesn’t want to help you. He wants you to believe you need his help”.

“Do _you_ want to help me?” she seemed hurt, and Bedelia squeezed her hand, trying to comfort her.

“I did,” she replied, “I really wanted to help you Alice, but I can’t now…” she admitted.

Alice looked at her, letting Bedelia touch her hand. They intertwined their fingers, and their eyes met. “Your addiction is making you dull…”

“I know”.

“You have to stop…”

“We have to go away”.

“No!” Alice half-screamed and her grip tightened, almost hurting her. Bedelia looked up and she didn’t recognise her anymore. “No! You stop telling her to do it. We are _not_ leaving! Now that things are back as they were, you are not ruining everything!”

Alice was gone, and she tried to take her hand back – but she wasn’t letting her. In a moment Alice’s hands were around her neck, squeezing hard.

Her lungs were empty, she tried to reach for Alice’s face to scratch her and free herself, but she wasn’t strong enough and Alice was much stronger than she looked.

Before she knew it, Alice’s grip loosened – she fell to the ground, and only then did Bedelia acknowledge Will’s presence behind her, with a book in his hands – he had just hit Alice in the head with it – successfully saving her life, probably.

He left her there, knelt beside her and took out a syringe filled with a clear liquid. Bedelia tried to wriggle, desperate. “No…” she breathed, trying to kick him with her only leg, but Will shoved the needle into her neck – hurting her, injecting the sedative into her system and the effect was immediate.

Her sight was clouded, the sounds were blurred, distant.

She saw Hannibal entering the room with a disappointed look on his face. She saw him picking up Alice, lifting her onto his shoulder like she was a doll – a doll he was ready to play with. His voice was strange, it echoed inside her head. “Why can’t you three get along?” he asked.

Bedelia let her head fall back, giving in to the sedative completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick update!  
> I hope you liked it. Let me know, please!!!


	13. Which dreamed it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal's friendship or Bedelia's love?  
> Alice is going to chose now, and there's no coming back.

It was weird, waking up and being herself again. At that point, Alice had no idea who she was anymore, actually. One moment she was Alice, the other she didn’t know – there were so many people inside her head.

She remembered what had happened, she remembered Will Graham hitting her, and she remembered Bedelia’s words. Was she right? Was she telling the truth? Alice didn’t know the answers, but she wanted Bedelia to be safe… and she wasn’t safe there. Alice didn’t know if Hannibal wanted to kill her, but he definitely wanted to kill Bedelia.

What to do, then?

She didn’t want to leave… she felt like Hannibal could _truly_ understand her. Hannibal knew, even if just in a small part, what it meant to be like her. They were different, they were special – and Alice knew Will Graham was special too, she could feel it, but for some reason that she didn’t know, he seemed to hate her deeply.

Alice reconsidered her options, thinking carefully about all the possibilities that were ahead of her. It took her a while to decide what to do, but when she did, she knew she wasn’t going to turn back… she hoped so, at last.

Once she left her room, she knew where to go. She reached Bedelia, founding her half-asleep on a bed, her hair perfect and her clothes clean. Hannibal was bathing and taking care of both of them – for a moment Alice hesitated, but then she shook her head, trying to think about the future.

Bedelia’s skin was cold, she looked at her through hazed eyes, for a moment Alice believed she didn’t recognise her. “What are you doing?” she asked her, with her voice weak and hoarse.

After helping her in to a sitting position, Alice went to the wardrobe; by climbing on a chair she reached the top of it, and retrieved Bedelia’s leg. “We’re leaving” she told her, in a resolute tone.

The leg was covered in dust, and Alice quickly polished it off. She knelt before her, Bedelia put both hands on her shoulders – just like they did hundreds of times before and for a moment everything seemed normal. They weren’t being held captive, their lives weren’t in danger… they were just _them_ , doing the things that they usually did in the past.

It was nice, it was warming up Alice’s chest and she felt a tinge of happiness inside her heart. She was doing the right thing… at least, she really hoped so. She didn’t know what was right and what was wrong, not anymore. Maybe she never did.

Bedelia was unstable on her feet, she needed to lean on Alice for balance, and once they were out of the room, Hannibal was already waiting outside. Alice felt Bedelia’s body stiffening next to her, she held her tight, the hand on her hip moved slightly lower.

“What are you doing?” Hannibal’s voice wasn’t angry – it never was, it was intimidating, though.

Alice didn’t want to feel that way, she didn’t know how to feel calm – so she faked it. “We’re leaving, I don’t want to stay here anymore and I want Bedelia to come with me”.

With a frown and an amused look in his eyes, Hannibal stepped forward – Alice and Bedelia stepped back almost automatically. “Why would you want to leave? I thought you wanted my help”.

Alice nodded, and once again she sensed Bedelia stiffening, she reached for Alice’s hand and squeezed lightly. That gave her some courage, “Yeah, well… your husband hit me in the head with a book, he _knocked me out_!” Alice raised her eyebrows, her voice higher. “I heard you two talking last night and I heard he wanted to get rid of me… that’s—” she stopped, thinking about the right word to use, “that’s… _rude_ ”.

“I apologise for Will’s behaviour,” Hannibal felt truly sorry.

Alice inhaled deeply, averting her eyes. “You shouldn’t be the one apologising. I don’t want to stay here anymore, he hasn’t been nice to me and he has treated Bedelia even worse… he hurt her, so we’re leaving” she didn’t sound very convincing.

Looking at her first and Bedelia right after, Hannibal smiled – and his smile was creepy this time. “Fine,” he said, stepping back and pointing at the front door with his hands. “You can go”.

Alice stopped, her blood froze – her brain was processing the words. “What?” she asked, confused.

“You can go,” Hannibal repeated, very kindly. “I understand how you feel about the two of you being here, and I won’t stop you”.

With her heart racing, Alice had no idea what to do or what to say. Was he lying? “I—” she stammered, “Aren’t you going to kill me?” that was the only proper question that came to her mind.

Hannibal looked sincerely surprised by that question, but he answered it nonetheless. “What made you think that it was my intention to kill you?” Alice didn’t answer, but her eyes snapped for a split second in Bedelia’s direction, then they were on Hannibal again – but she was sure he had noted the movement. “However,” he continued, pretending he hadn’t noticed anything, “I’ve no plans to call on you, Alice. The world is more interesting with you in it” he said, standing still with his eyes fixed in hers.

Alice could almost feel his voice inside her head – that was new, she thought. It was like he could read her like an open book. It was both intriguing and scary. She wasn’t sure she liked that… “And what about Bedelia?” she asked, trying to sound calm.

Hannibal joined his hands in his lap. “I think I understand that you two are very close,” he said and Alice sensed a wave of heat rush to her cheeks – she didn’t know why, she never blushed, Hannibal was weird. “She is my gift for you,” he smiled again, this time Alice felt _really_ uncomfortable. “Enjoy it, I don’t know how long it will last”.

“You’re not going to kill her…” Alice’s voice quivered, she couldn’t help it.

When Hannibal shook his head, Alice felt confused. “I won’t — it won’t be necessary”.

Alice had absolutely no idea what he meant by that, but she felt Bedelia squeezing her hand once again and she decided it was time to go. She didn’t want to risk Hannibal to changing his mind.

* * *

While in the passenger seat of a – stolen – rented car, Bedelia couldn’t think about anything else but the fact that she had survived Hannibal once again, this time without losing anything.

Why wasn’t she happy, then? Why was she still scared? Bedelia could still feel the cannibal’s presence behind her – as if he was sitting on the back passenger seat. She was afraid it was already too late, she was afraid he had already sewn his strings inside Alice, ready to pull them and control her like a puppet.

He let them go – Hannibal told her she was his gift to Alice, that he would not come after her…

_Enjoy it, I don’t know how long it will last._

His words echoed inside her mind, repeating themselves like a broken record. He let her go, he let _Alice_ go because he was curious to see if she would have come back to him – or maybe he was curious to know if she would have killed her herself…

Alice would never hurt her – not Alice, but someone else might. Bedelia’s heartbeat increased, she couldn’t control her fear. The car was lulling her, the drugs were clouding her mind, and yet she was incredibly scared by the girl that was sitting next to her – and she had just saved her life. “Did he tell you anything?” she asked Alice, trying to sound normal. “About me”.

“No— yes,” Alice’s eyes were fixed on the road, she seemed to know where to go. Bedelia wondered if she was going to the academy, probably yes. “He told me you were his friend, and that you two had travelled together throughout Europe, five years ago”.

“I was his psychiatrist, not his friend” her voice came out tired and weak – she rested her forehead against the cool car window, closing her eyes and trying not to think about the nausea that was starting to invade her stomach. “Nothing else?”

She sensed Alice’s eyes staring at the back of her neck and she breathed harshly. “Nope,” she answered, after a pause she added: “Why? Was there something he should have told me?”

Memories of Paris and Florence filled her mind; fancy parties, elegant dresses, historical conferences, oysters, acorns, and marsala, snails and wine, white sheets that smelled of passion and perversion – the constant sound of that damn piano. Bedelia’s skin crawled, and she tasted bile at the back of her throat. “No,” she answered in a cold tone. “But he could have lied to you, in order to brake us apart”.

A little laugh filled the small van – it reached Bedelia’s heart and touched her soul – the knowledge of being finally safe made her feel better, but not completely. “He didn’t tell me anything… we talked about me, mostly”.

Bedelia knew that already, she only hoped that Alice hadn’t given up too much about herself. When she heard a loud gasp, she forced her eyes to stay open and turned her head to the driver seat. “What happened?” she asked, concerned.

Alice was on the verge of crying, her hands were clenching the wheel – shaking. “I—” she tried not to sob and ended up biting her bottom lip, the sudden change in her mood was scaring and confusing, Bedelia checked to see the lock on her door was open or closed, “I forgot my rabbit, I have to go back”.

“No,” Bedelia almost didn’t let her finish – the thought of turning the car around and going back was making her heart race and ache, “we’re not going back. That rabbit wasn’t a gift, Alice” she told her, trying to sound convincing. “It was just the emblem of Hannibal’s supremacy over you – he gained your trust, so that he could manipulate you. This is the way his mind works, the fact that you forgot the rabbit is a sign. It’s your subconscious telling you to run”.

Alice shook her head, wiping out her tears. “I think that I was just in a rush, it had nothing to do with my subconscious… but I want it back, I’m gonna get it back- not now!” she added immediately, before Bedelia could try to dissuade her again. “Not now…” she repeated, more to herself, in a low voice.

Half an hour had passed; they stayed in silence after that – Bedelia could sense the stiffness in Alice, she was nervous, probably thinking about her stuffed toy. Even if she tried, she couldn’t sleep – she didn’t want to risk Alice to suddenly change her mind and go get the toy back right now.

The view from the window car was blurred, through half-closed lids. Bedelia’s mind was completely elsewhere, thinking about what she was going to do with her life when Alice’s voice brought her back to earth. “I killed a man,” she told her, in a small voice – ashamed. “I— it wasn’t really me, but I enjoyed doing it. And then we ate him, you too… it was the— not the eating, I didn’t enjoyed that, well yes, it tasted just like pork, actually but that’s not the point— the, the point is…”

“Stop the car,” her voice was almost a whisper; she wasn’t sure that Alice heard it. “Stop the car” she repeated, more clearly.

Gaping, Alice looked for a place to stop and Bedelia was out of the car a second later, bent in half with a hand placed on the hood of the car, retching. Tasting vomit in her mouth, she didn’t care about having just ruined her shoes – she felt incredibly better, now.

She felt the pressure of Alice’s hand on her back, the touch comforted her. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I thought you knew what we were eating, I didn’t—”

“I knew it,” she interrupted her breathing hard and straightened her back – she needed a glass of water now, but they didn’t have any. “Let’s get back in the car, I was just sick – I’m much better now”.

She didn’t even eat human meat – Hannibal made her usual dish, in honour of her presence, just for her. No, it wasn’t that.

Looking inside the drawer in front of her, Bedelia found a little box of mints and she put three of those in her mouth, trying to get rid of that disgusting taste. “What were you trying to tell me?”

Her eyes moved from the road to Alice, she seemed nervous again. A weak smile appeared on her lips. “What if I can’t live without hurting other people?” she asked, in a sarcastic voice. “What if I have to keep killing people to be happy?”

“Have you killed other people in the last few months?”

She nodded, averting her eyes. “I butchered two men because they were going to hurt me and my friend…”

“That is self-defence,” Bedelia tried to help her, but Alice didn’t look convinced.

“It wasn’t…” she confessed, “I know self-defence, and that wasn’t the case. I cut one’s throat and stabbed the other. I killed the old lady who used to run the orphanage just because I never liked her…” Alice breathed through her nose, waiting to see if she had something to say, and when she didn’t, she kept going. “I cut her head off with a table cutter… it wasn’t easy, I had to- it wasn’t easy”.

Bedelia was grateful for her last-minute decision not to go into gruesome details, but the image was already printed in her mind. A rolling head on the ground, Alice covered in blood – a satisfied grin on her face. She shivered and closed her eyes, swallowing hard.

“And then Hyde, in the cave… I stabbed him and I took his eyes out, _that_ I don’t feel guilty about”.

“You feel guilty about the other murders?”

“Don’t call them _murders_ …”

“So you _do_ feel ashamed”.

“I feel ashamed because I _don’t_. Does it make sense?”

“It does,” Bedelia placed her hand on her knee, “knowing that hurting people is wrong, might help you to stop. Before you hurt someone, try to think about them as human beings, with feelings… try to make up a fantasy family for them… it _will_ help you sympathize with them”.

Turning her head for just a moment, Alice smiled at her with fondness, then her eyes were on the road again and her smile faded away. “And what if it doesn’t work? What if I still want to hurt them?”

Bedelia stayed quiet for a while, thinking about the right answer to give her. The truth was, she was afraid the right answer didn’t exist – because the right answer was actually _wrong_. It involved Alice being interned, and giving her professional medical help – something she couldn’t provide anymore – in a proper Mental Health Institute. Maybe it was the best option… but she didn’t want to suggest that, Alice would never agree.

Squeezing the hand she placed on her knee, she drew another smile from Alice and she smiled in return, weekly. “We’ll figure it out”.


	14. Child of the pure unclouded brow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bedelia and Alice are free, and the Coven is celebrating the new arrivals.

The key to happiness is to focus on pleasant thoughts, and let go of the unpleasant ones.

 _That_ has been Cordelia’s mantra during the last couple of days, since Alice and Bedelia had returned and her academy had been invaded by little witches, scared and traumatised.

Focus on pleasant thoughts.

Her sister was safe. Alice was safe. The children were safe. Some of them had already found their families.

Bedelia was restless. Alice was… Alice. Half of the children had continuous nightmares and their screams kept the other half awake.

No, happy thoughts.

They were throwing a party, to celebrate the new members of the Coven. It was a good thing, they were going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine.

Cordelia almost jumped when she heard a knock on the door, and tried to regain her composure. “Come on in,” she said, adjusting her hair and she smiled at Mary Ann, taking her square glasses off. “How can I help you sweetie?”

Before the child could reply, someone else entered the room. Fabilla was Mary Ann’s shadow by now, the two of them were always together. Cordelia noticed that Fabilla’s bright red hair had been carefully braided into a single braid that rested on her right shoulder. She wondered who did that to her, since she didn’t let anybody touch her.

“We wanted to help you, actually” Mary Ann’s voice distracted her from thinking about the other child. “We wanted to know if we could so something to help you prepare the house for tonight’s party”.

Those two were an unusual show. Cordelia couldn’t help but think – she wanted to smile and think of the right answer. Thank them, maybe, and ask them to accomplish an easy task like help Misty with the flowers, or help Zoe setting the tables… but she just couldn’t.

There was something in the way Mary Ann stood like a statue, with her back straight and her hands joined behind her back, and the way Fabilla stood behind her – in the same exact position, with their eyes fixed on her, that was upsetting. Gosh, they looked like the children from ‘Poltergeist’.

Then, a sudden spark of realisation occured in her mind as she finnaly understood something Queenie said the day before, while looking at the two girls. They were simply watching the TV in the living room, with the others and Queenie stared at them for a minute, commenting on how they didn’t even seem to blink and they seemed to communicate telepathically, in the end, when Mary Ann turned her back to the television and said something to Fabilla – something they were too far away to hear, Queenie scoffed and she said in a very serious face and voice, “They’re here!” faking-lip reading what Mary Ann had just told. At first, Cordelia didn’t quite get the reference, but now she did…

“Miss Cordelia?” Fabilla let her head fall to one side, her ear almost touched her shoulder, “Are you okay?”

Cordelia inhaled sharply and nodded, putting her glasses back. “Yes, yes. I’m sorry, I am just very tired…” she forced a smile, pushing back those unpleasant thoughts and focused on the pleasant ones. “Why don’t you go and ask Zoe if she needs help setting the tables in the living room?”

Mary Ann and Fabilla smiled, the first closed one eye and then the other – it was something she did very often without even noticing, looking for spirits – and when she turned her back to Cordelia and left, Fabilla waited patiently until Mary Ann was already out of the room, and then she followed like a loyal pet.

Or like a loyal witch would follow her Supreme.

She didn’t even know how that thought had crossed her mind, but it did. And she couldn’t shake it now. Mary Ann reminded her so much of herself… from her eyes to her character. Fabilla, with her hair and her attitude, reminded her of Myrtle… the way she helped her and supported her during the final days of her life and her own first days of being the Supreme Witch.

Cordelia smiled. All those new witches were the future, she loved being the one in charge to help them become who they were destined to be.

She loved being the Supreme and the Headmistress. Maybe she could leave Zoe or Queenie in charge of the Council, and spend a little more time with her youngest recruits.

* * *

Stevie Nicks was playing the piano as usual – that was her power after all and her music was doing its job. She didn’t know if it was a coincidence, but the song she was playing was about Alice in Wonderland…

Stevie had met Alice briefly before, and she definitely was aware of the young woman’s obsession for Lewis Carroll’s books. She knew Stevie loved those stories too, and the song was actually beautiful. Bedelia could feel her soul getting lighter with every note, she felt happy and relaxed, despite the twenty-or-so children that were dancing around in the room.

She had never quite enjoyed children, it wasn’t an unconditional fear – she didn’t want to become like her mother. Cordelia had always wanted a baby, she confessed so one night, before she left the academy. They were both too sad and too drunk, and they had talked about a lot of things she didn’t remember anymore. But she remembered what Cordelia told her about motherhood, what she had been through to have a child that never arrived.

Bedelia almost laughed, trying to help her realise that even if she never had a baby, all the witches living under her roof considered her a mother, a better mother than their own had ever been.

That seemed to make Cordelia feel a little better, then the bond was gone… when one of them was left sad and drunk, and the other was happily asleep in her bed.

Old faces and new ones were smiling at her, pretending to know her; she was the sister of the Supreme Witch, she was part of the elite of the Coven…

She wanted to disappear into her room.

After all she had been through, a party was the last thing that she wanted. She was sick, she needed her medicine but she couldn’t have it.

Looking at the faces of all those children, knowing some of them almost died because of her needs – not just hers, of course… but the irrational thought kept bothering her.

The truth was that she was addicted to it and she needed something new to replace it, and soon. Alcohol wasn’t enough anymore. Drugs? She didn’t do drugs – not the conventional ones. She needed something untraceable.

Going back on what Hannibal used to give her was out of the question. It was too risky, too reckless. She _was_ desperate, but not that much. Maybe she should ask Alice; God, she knew something about drugs. Her ghost friend was pretty skilled too…

“Penny for your thoughts?” Bedelia jumped when she felt a hand on her arm, but she relaxed when a moment later she realised it was only Alice.

With a sigh, she made room for her to sit on the sofa beside her. “I was thinking about what these poor girls had been through” she half lied.

Alice’s eyes travelled around the room, her big green eyes seemed more alive than ever. Her smile was back in place, her hair was glowing with its golden halo again. “They’re okay now” she said, with a satisfied look on her face.

Bedelia automatically smiled at her; she placed her hand on Alice’s thigh and squeezed lightly. “Thanks to you” she said, and Alice closed her fingers around her hand.

Her thumb started to trace a random pattern on the back of Bedelia’s hand and her smile widened a little. “Not just me,” she said, averting her eyes from the little witches and meeting Bedelia’s stare, “I killed Hyde, but Hannibal called the police… why did he do it?” she asked her, and Bedelia didn’t know why Alice believed she had the answer to that question.

Taking her time, Bedelia realised that Alice was right. Hannibal did help in saving those girls, and she wasn’t surprised that Alice found the situation strange. “I can only imagine that Hannibal saw in those children something that reminded him of his little sister…”

“Mischa?” Alice’s voice was unsure, but Bedelia’s heart missed a beat at the sound of that name.

She nodded, a little surprised. “He told you about her?”

Alice averted her eyes again, fixing her stare on a group of teenage witches in the crowd. “Yes,” she said in a whisper, almost inaudible, “I wasn’t quite myself, but I remember snippets of conversations”.

How difficult it must be? Having several people living inside your head? Each one with different memories, different stories, different voices…

Stevie’s music changed and Bedelia spotted Zoe and Kyle dancing in the middle of the room. He wasn’t very coordinated, but Zoe didn’t care. They were laughing and spinning around, sometimes he stumbled on his feet, and she almost fall at some point, but they kept dancing like nothing happened. That was a kind of happiness that nobody could ever have for free… they had fought for it, they gained it and they were holding tight onto it.

Then, there were Cordelia and Misty, not far from Kyle and Zoe. They weren’t dancing – well, Cordelia wasn’t dancing. Misty was mesmerized by Stevie’s voice, and she seemed to be on a mystical trip. She was spinning around, twenty inches from the ground and Cordelia’s eyes were fixed on her, she was smiling peacefully.

Maybe she didn’t deserve that kind of happiness, maybe the things she did in her life were too much to deserve that.

And then she looked at Alice, she looked happy… she really did. And the things she had done… maybe it was just a state of mind. Alice never really cared about her actions, not for long anyways.

She had so many emotions inside herself, that sometimes she preferred pretending she had none. It was easier that way… maybe that was happiness. Lock away everything else; once the bad things were left forgotten, all that was left were the good things.

What were the good things?

She was alive, and that was much more than she could expect, after the previous weeks’ events.

She was relatively in a good shape.

That was pretty much it. It was more than nothing…

“Have I lost you again?” she heard Alice’s laugh in the distance and she shook away those thoughts, focusing on the girl sitting next to her.

“I’m sorry,” Bedelia closed her eyes, hiding a smile and shook her head lightly. “I must not be a very good company right now, am I right?”

Alice shrugged and moved closer, she rested her head on Bedelia’s shoulder. Her long hair tickled her arm. “That’s okay, you’re just fine”.

Bedelia laughed lightly, placing a kiss on her hair, breathing in the sweet smell of vanilla.

They stayed in silence, until something broke it. “Excuse me,” both of them jumped in surprise when a voice came from right behind them, out of nowhere. Separating from each other with harsh movements, Alice and Bedelia turned around to see that Spalding was standing behind the sofa they were sitting on, with a box in his hands. He wasn’t even looking at them, his eyes were lost in the distance. “This box was left at the front door, I believe it’s for you, miss”.

Alice shared a look with Bedelia, she read confusion in her eyes. Bedelia didn’t know what to think, but she extended her arms to take the box from the handyman. “Thank you,” she said in a very polite voice, and he left without leaving a trace. “Here,” Bedelia gave the box to Alice and she hurried to open it, without even looking at it.

She thought she might know what could be inside it, she just hoped she was wrong.

The look in Alice’s eyes told her that she was right, though – and she wasn’t surprised at all when Alice took out her stuffed rabbit from inside the box. She hugged it and breathed its smell, smiling. “Why?” she asked, and Bedelia didn’t know if that question was for her.

A sickening sensation was starting to spread inside her stomach, just at the sight of that toy and the thought of what it really meant. “He didn’t want you to come back for it” she replied in a cold voice. Alice looked up, confused, but she ignored her and looked away. “Hannibal is curious to know if you would ever come back, but not for the toy. He needed to give it back to you, in order to find that out…”

“Why would I ever want to go back?” asked Alice with an innocent tone in her voice, but the light in her eyes betrayed her. In spite of everything, she _was_ a good liar.

She wasn’t the only one, she thought – and Bedelia didn’t want to talk about that just now. She breathed slowly and helped Alice to put the stuffed rabbit back in its box. “You want something to drink?” she asked, avoiding her question.

* * *

‘The Lonely Goatherd’was playing in the background – it was  _always_ playing in the background; Alice grew to hate that song to the bone.

Her stuffed rabbit hated that song too… he suggested several times to destroy the record, and she did once, two days after she arrived at the hospital, but it was playing again the day after. It was immortal.

It was supposed to make everyone feel happy, but it just—

_Let’s kill somebody! Yes, yes! Let’s stab someone in the eye with that plastic fork! Oh, oh! There’s a window open there, let’s jump. Just hit your head against the wall until it cracks. Scream, scream, scream! Bite that nurse, he’s watching you!_

“Hey! What are you looking at?” she spit out, angrily barking at the nurse who was delivering all the happy pills to the other patients. He didn’t even bother to look at her, and walked by.

_Run after him! Throw something at him! Look there’s a book there. Take all those pills, they’re magical. They will make you grow smaller. You’re gonna leave this place if you’re small enough to slip under the front door!_

“Shut the fuck up!” screamed Alice, and silence fell – except for that hideous song, of course. All the eyes in the common room were on her, she felt incredibly uncomfortable, but at least the voices in her head had stopped.

A hand on her shoulder made her jolt, but she recognised Nurse Rachel – smiling kindly at her. “Are you okay, Alice?”

She shook her head, feeling tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat. “I hear voices… they are telling me to do bad things, they won’t stop until I hurt people”.

The look in Rachel’s eyes darkened, she lowered her head and took her hands in her own. “That’s okay Alice, I’m calling doctor Roberts now, okay? Come with me”.

Alice’s heart skipped a beat. _Come with me_. She knew what that meant. “No…” she whispered, taking back her hands. “No, please I won’t scream again”.

Rachel sighed, looking really sorry. “You know the rules, Alice. You’re disturbing the peace in here”.

With a sarcastic scoff, Alice frowned. “ _Peace_?” she spread her arms wide, gesturing to the whole room. “Everybody’s nuts, here. Nuts! They are not peaceful, they’re fucking drugged!”

A stern look appeared on Rachel’s face and Alice’s expression faded away, a more frightened one appeared. “No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry— I didn’t mean to… please, don’t”.

Rachel nodded her head, gesturing for someone to come. Two big nurses appeared and grabbed her, escorting her away. Alice stayed quiet, she didn’t want to be thrown in solitary confinement. They brought her to her room, and left her there. Soon after Doctor Roberts arrived.

He looked different. His eyes were totally black, no pupils. His round spectacles were missing and his white teeth were pointy. He had long, creepy hands, that crawled towards her, making creaky sounds.

“I’m not going to take any other pill!” screamed Alice to the monster-doctor, but he didn’t listen. Not until the door went down and her Hatter came in, hitting the doctor in the head with a shovel.

They were out, they were free. No more ugly songs, no more bad pills, no more nurses, no more hospitals.

She was free and happy with her new best friend and they could live how they wanted.

The Hatter’s house was whole big abandoned warehouse. It was huge, and dusty – it was perfect. It was home. They had tea parties every day, and his pills weren’t bad.

He gave her the happy pills every morning. Eggs and pills for breakfast, that’s what he always used to say. Sometimes he gave her those funny mushrooms, some other times he gave her other stuff, once or twice she felt sick and he got very worried.

“My dear Alice…” his voice echoed inside her mind, and she smiled at him while he was extending his hand towards her. “Will you give me the honour?”

An honour, indeed. The Hatter didn’t allow anybody to play with him and his guests. Only Alice, and she was very glad.

He had a pair of big scissors, that he used to cut a piece of hair from the pretty girls he invited to his parties – he always sung _Twinkle Twkinke Little Bat_ , while cutting their hair. And then there was the funny part.

Alice was allowed to cut, stab, pierce, burn, and scratch everything she wanted – but she couldn’t touch the eyes, he didn’t want her to touch the eyes. _Ever_.

She loved the colour of blood – deep red – it was beautiful, and blood itself was warm and thick; a lot of people told her it was gross, but it was just perfect. The Hatter was always so proud of her. “Oh, my sweet, sweet Alice!” he used to tell her, “You have a gift!” he loved the way she cut the throat of the men he sent to her.

She didn’t know why he wanted them to touch her, and then her to kill them – but as long as it made him happy, she would do it. She would have done everything for her Hatter.

 _This is my gift for you. Enjoy it, I don’t know how long it will last_.

Her Hatter was gone, in his place there was Hannibal, wearing his Hatter’s clothes. A forest green, elegant, worn out suit, with a white shirt and a black vest – and the matching top hat, of course.

“What did you just say?” she asked him, confused.

Hannibal looked straight at her, she could feel his claws scratching at her soul, taking a tight hold onto it and trying to rip it out – it hurt. He smiled, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I said, you should kill her… Bedelia. Your life was so much better before her, before me, before everything else. Just kill her, and then yourself. Join the Hatter, Alice. He misses you, he’s waiting for you, Alice… Alice”.

*

“Alice!” Bedelia’s voice woke her up and her breath got stuck in her throat as she sat up, breathing hard.

Alice felt like the world had just collapsed on her, the room was spinning and her heart was pounding. It was dark, she was cold. “What happened?” she asked, out of breath.

She felt Bedelia’s hand on her shoulder, brushing the hair away – then she felt her lips lightly pressed against her skin. “You were having a nightmare, go back to sleep”.

Memories of the day flashed before her eyes; she was in her bed, it was late… the party was long over.

Alice spun around in Bedelia’s arms and placed a hand on her cheek, caressing her hair with the tip of her fingers. The shadow of her dream was still hanging inside her, like a black, thick, smoke around her soul – she could feel it try to devour her from the inside, leaving her like an empty shell.

Bedelia’s icy blue eyes were like a beacon in the night; she could see them shine in the moonlight, and Alice leaned forward to kiss her lips. When she closed her eyes she could still see their light behind her closed lids. Bedelia’s light helped her fight the darkness inside her. “I’m scared,” she whispered against her lips, resting her own forehead against Bedelia’s. “I don’t want to sleep” said Alice as she kissed her again, slipping a hand on her hip and letting it travel lower, tentatively brushing the rim of Bedelia’s nightgown.


	15. Alice's Evidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the final chapter.

Their first time happened during a night just like this one, after a party at the academy. That time Bedelia made the first move, Alice wondered what would have happened if she had rejected her.

She pressed her lips against Bedelia’s, seeking her warm touch. She felt cold inside, she could almost see it, a blue, icy light inside her heart – it was expanding inside the darkness of her soul, freezing everything it touched.

Bedelia caressed her cheek, her fingertips brushed the hair close to her ear as she deepened the kiss.

Parting her lips, Alice let Bedelia’s tongue inside her mouth. It still tasted like wine; a shiver warmed her stomach when she slid her own tongue over hers, pushing further against the other woman’s body and a soft, low moan escaped Bedelia’s busy lips.

The voices inside her head were silent, as if they were still asleep – but they weren’t. They couldn’t be.

The need of air made them break the kiss, and they stared at each other in silence for a moment.

In the darkness of their bedroom, Bedelia’s eyes looked pitch black and Alice couldn’t distinguish the dilated pupils from the irises. She looked demonic and yet gorgeous.

Her pale, pink lips were swollen from the kiss, her cheeks were flushed and her beautiful blonde hair was messy from being asleep.

Bedelia was the most beautiful creature she had ever seen in her entire life; seeing of her made her feel warmer, more human. She could not risk harming her in any way.

Those moments felt to Alice like they were infinite, she could not tell how long they actually lasted, but the spell broke when Bedelia kissed her again, pushing her onto the mattress, and half-climbing her, resting her weight against her body.

Another wave of excitement hit Alice, and this time she moaned into the kiss; Bedelia’s right hand travelled down her body, stopping between the valley of her breasts, playfully teasing her skin with her fingertips.

A smile appeared on Alice’s lips, as she closed her eyes and chuckled, enjoying the tingling sensation that was invading her body.

The chuckle became a gasp, when she felt Bedelia’s warm lips pressed against her neck, and the tip of her tongue caressed her skin tentatively.

Shivers ran through her entire body, touching her cold soul, warming it up. A single cry left her parted lips, as her breathing started to get laboured.

She didn’t want to lose control, she didn’t want to hurt her.

Bedelia’s hand travelled further down, tracing a light path on Alice’s thin nightgown; it stopped once she reached the rim, and it slipped underneath it, caressing the skin of her thighs, while her mouth closed around her left nipple.

Alice automatically arched her back, breathing hard and shutting her eyes close. “ _Delia_ …” her voice turned out to be way more pleading than she intended it to be. Bedelia took it as an invitation, and she sucked harder on her skin, leaving it bruised without a doubt. This time, Alice screamed louder, unable to control herself.

Biting her lower lip to keep her mouth closed, Alice dipped a hand inside Bedelia’s soft curls, pulling lightly. The other woman got the hint and lifted her head, just to lean into her again and kiss her fully on the lips, forcing her tongue inside her mouth.

Alice shifted under Bedelia’s body, one of her legs ended up between Bedelia’s and she pushed her knee against her lover’s core easily, finding her hot and wet.

Letting her head fall on Alice’s breasts, Bedelia let out a deep groan that made every cell in Alice’s body tremble.

After a moment, Bedelia was in control again and she placed another, tender, kiss above the blonde’s earlobe. For no reasons at all, horrible images of murders filled her mind, and Alice’s muscles tensed, as she held her breath, but Bedelia’s lips curled in a smile against her skin. “Relax,” she whispered into her ear, it was like she could sense her fear, “we can be together now”.

To prove her point, Bedelia’s hand slipped easily inside Alice’s underwear, brushing her fingers against her fair hairs, caressing her wet folds and slid two of them inside her, pumping slowly in and out, accompanying each thrust with a kiss on her jaw, neck and collarbone…

Alice could feel her own heart beating furiously inside her ribcage, the sensation was overwhelming. “Delia, please…” she found herself out of breath, pushing her hips against Bedelia’s hand, while the other woman’s mouth was on her breast again, nibbling and kissing her soft skin.

Surrendering to Alice’s begging, Bedelia started pushing harder inside her, circling her clit with her thumb. With a low moan, Alice arched her back and widened her eyes – and for a split second, she saw blood on the ceiling. It was leaking through a thin crack, pooling against the plaster, and a single drop landed on her forehead. She wanted to scream in fear, but the moment she blinked, it was gone and a wave of pleasure exploded inside her stomach, warning her that she was close to climax.

As her orgasm hit her, Alice moaned quietly, closing her eyes in a blissful peace – but in the darkness, she saw blood again and two yellow eyes staring at her. They reached into her soul, beating the warmth of Bedelia’s touch and when the sensation of her orgasm had faded away, Alice was left empty and cold, against the mattress.

The voices inside her head were awake, her fingers were screaming to hurt someone — Bedelia, or herself, it didn’t matter.

She ignored them, trying to normalise her breath. Bedelia kissed her softly, and Alice returned the kiss, slipping her arm around her shoulder and gently pushing her aside, and climbing on top of her.

She deepened the kiss, and broke it only when her lungs were begging for air. Placing her elbows at each side of Bedelia’s head, Alice used them as a leverage so that she could stare into the other woman’s eyes.

She could see now that Bedelia’s pupils were so dilated they almost turned her eyes black, this time in a demoniac way. The burning desire in her look was undeniable, and yet she didn’t dare to ask. She patiently waited until she was sure she was in control of her body, and then she started to reveal Bedelia’s skin, removing her nightgown.

Once she was completely naked and at Alice’s mercy, she took her time kissing every inch of her body, testing her skin and getting lost in her scent of expensive perfume and arousal.

Bedelia was already incredibly wet when Alice lowered her head between her thighs, savouring her. Bedelia’s moans filled the room, but the sounds were muffled to Alice since the other woman’s thighs were pressed against her ears.

She lost herself at some point, she didn’t know when, and she didn’t know to who – but Bedelia wasn’t complaining.

Her vocalisms were music to Alice’s ears, she kept pleasing her without mercy, until she came without warning, instinctively pushing her head against her.

Alice felt a stinging pain at the back of her neck where Bedelia was pulling, and she lost herself again.

When she came back, Bedelia was asleep in her arms. She checked her pulse and heartbeat to see if she was alive, and when she was sure of it she tried to get back to sleep.

She rolled onto her back several times, but the more she tried, the more she couldn’t fall asleep.

She had been lucky, if she kept switching the way she did with Hannibal, she didn’t know how long it would be before she’d hurt somebody.

Sitting against the headboard, Alice stared into the darkness and found her little rabbit staring at her with his black shiny eyes.

 _She’s sleeping, Alice_. He told her, and she knew what was coming. _There’s a knife in the drawer_.

“I thought you liked her…” whispered Alice, starting to be afraid.

 _She is dangerous. If you kill her, you will be free_.

Standing up, and shaking her head, Alice went inside the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower and I will feel better”.

Only that she didn’t. After an hour under cold water, the only thing that she wanted to do was to stab somebody to death and play with their blood.

She was a threat, she was wrong. She would end up killing Bedelia, or a member of the Coven. She didn’t want it to be this way…

There was only one solution. She had to go away, but she didn’t have a place to go.

 _There is one place_ , the Hare whispered in her ear, in an alluring voice. _You know there is one place where we won’t be a freak_.

Alice breathed slowly, she had to decide what to do. But it wasn’t really a hard decision to made… it was either stay and risk the lives of someone she loved, or go away and be alone…

She decided that she didn’t want to risk Bedelia’s life. She also wanted to meet Hannibal again, maybe. He was kind and understanding. He gave her the rabbit back…

She got dressed quickly, and put her clothes and stuff inside her backpack.

Bedelia’s breathing was relaxed and soft, she didn’t want to wake her up but she also wanted to say goodbye, so she approached her tiptoeing, and she placed a light kiss on her cheek, feeling an uncomfortable itch in her eyes.

Emptiness was eating her from the inside, as she left the warm room that still smelled of sex and closed the door behind her. Her backpack was full and heavy on her shoulder, her hands were holding her rabbit tight. She didn’t want to leave, and at the same time she wanted to.

It was a weird feeling, thought Alice – it was like she needed to leave in order to breathe. Her lungs were aching for oxygen, and the academy was full of carbon dioxide; she _had to_ leave.

The decision was made, she was already at the front door when she saw The Supreme standing in front of the monumental marble staircase, it was shining in the moonlight.

Cordelia’s body was slender, she was wearing her nightgown and the dim light filtered by the curtains wasn’t enough to let Alice see her properly.

She looked like an angel with her face in the darkness and a white halo around her head and shoulders. Alice could feel her scraping into her brain for information.

“I’m leaving,” she said; she didn’t want her inside her mind – it was crowded enough.

Cordelia didn’t move, she stood there like a statue and it was quite intimidating. “I know” she said in a calm voice, lacking her usual kindness. “And I won’t stop you”.

The words surprised Alice, she tightened the grip around the hears of the rabbit, and took a step forward. “Why are you here then?” she asked, innocently.

“To make sure you don’t leave anything behind” crossing her arms, Cordelia slowly descended the staircase, joining Alice by the door. Her face looked harsher than usual.

Alice’s heartbeat quickened; she didn’t like this aspect of Cordelia’s personality. For the first time, she could see a side of her that she didn’t know existed. “You don’t want me here?”

“Cut the crap, Alice” Cordelia sighed, rubbing her face tiredly. “I really wish there was something I could do to help you, but the truth is—” she stopped, maybe she was trying to think about a kind way to say something… but she clearly didn’t find it, “you’re an unstable person. You are a threat for yourself _and_ the people around you. And I don’t want you around my kids”.

 _That_ hurt a bit. Just a bit.

All of a sudden, Alice wasn’t so sure she wanted to leave anymore – but it was just to prove Cordelia that she was perfectly okay, and it was safe for her to be around children. “I have never hurt a child…” she stopped, and corrected herself. “Not since I was a child too”.

“You could snap at any time, Alice” Cordelia’s voice was kind again – she seemed truly concerned, not for her but for the safety of her Coven, or at least for the younger part of it. “I’m sorry, but you’re unpredictable”.

Alice lowered her eyes, her heartbeat was back to normal now. “I guess it’s true…” when she had decided to leave, the Coven’s kids were the last thing she had thought about, but now that Cordelia had brought the matter to her attention, she could totally see her point. “Just tell Bedelia that I’m sorry. Tell her I didn’t want to hurt anybody here”.

She knew Bedelia was going to be mad. Alice was mad too when she found out that Bedelia had left her behind… but that was necessary, she would probably understand. It was safer that way.

“I will,” Cordelia smiled and looked down. “I wish you the best, Alice”.

Alice had no idea how to reply, so she just said: “Thank you,” and stepped forward, reaching the front door knowing that from that moment, there was no going back. Once she crossed that line, she would leave Bedelia and her world behind, and she didn’t want to – but that was the tantrum of a spoiled child, for once in her life she was going to be the adult she was supposed to be and do the right thing for a change.

*

Her hair was still dump from the shower when she knocked on the door in front of her and waited. Anxiety and fear were clenching at her stomach, making her feel nauseated. When the front door opened, Alice founded herself facing Will Graham, and the little dog that was hopping and barking by his feet.

Before she could say anything, Hannibal appeared behind his back – Alice felt a little relieved, she had thought that Will could have shut the door in her face without even blinking.

“I like killing people,” was the first thing that she said, maybe it wasn’t the best way to start a conversation, but it was the first thing that came up to her mind. It was scary. “What is wrong with me?”

Hannibal was smiling, he offered his hand to her as Will stepped aside – with an obviously unhappy look on his face – and Alice didn’t think twice before accepting Hannibal’s hand. “There is nothing wrong with you, Alice” he told her calmly.

Stepping inside the warm house felt good, it felt right. Her doubts faded away, as Hannibal walked her into the living room and they sat by the table. He offered her a steaming cup of tea, to warm her up and gave her biscuits.

Even Will seemed nicer to her, and the dog was nice too.

Classical music was playing and the fireplace was lit. The whole place smelled like wine, woods and chestnuts. She could get used to it, maybe it wasn’t going to be that bad, after all…

Maybe they could become her new family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will publish an actial 5 chapters epilogue, that could stand as a single story... stay tuned ;)  
> I hope you liked it, please let me know!


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